Have fun everyone, and I look forward to reading all the posts when I am reanimated tomorrow.

MIZ!

When in the Course of college football it becomes necessary for one team to dissolve the historical bands which have connected them with failure and to assume among the powers of the Big 12, the arisen and superior station to which the Laws of Spread Offense and of The Golden Watermelon Balls of Fury that entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the ascension.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that not all Non-Conference schedules are created equal, that they are endowed by their legitimacy  with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Respect, BCS berths and the pursuit of Championships. -- That to secure these rights, an offnese is instituted among supermen, deriving their just dominance from their sub 4.4 40 times, -- That whenever any Form of National Relevance becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the fanbase and the team to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new order of relevance and dominance, laying its foundation on such contests as the Border War and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their BCS Standing and recruiting capability. ESPN, indeed, will dictate that National Powerhouses, long established should not be changed for light and transient wins and losses; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that college football fans are more disposed to suffer, while upsets are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Mainsteam Media Bias, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Mainstream Media Attention, and to provide new Guards for their future relevance through the awesomeness of Jeremy Maclin and the MotherRucker. -- Such has been the patient sufferance of Missouri; and such is now the necessity which constrains it to alter its former history of failure and irrelevance. The history of the present King of Kansas and Burger King (Mark Mangino) is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute falsehood over popular opinion. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid internet.

He has refused his Assent to strong Non-conference play, the most wholesome and necessary for the institute of legitimacy.

He has forbidden his team to play against immediate and pressing offenses, unless suspended in their winning; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to dominate them (Colorado, aTm).

He has called together mainstream media hacks suchs as Lou Holtz, Colin Cowherd, and Doug Flutie, to give undue attention and credit upon his mediocre squad.

He has dissolved rightful BCS qualifiers, under his guise of being undefeated.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elevated, the AP Poll, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to Missouri  at large for their exercise; Missouri remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from shitty Big East Teams (WVU), and convulsions within (The Star's coverage of kU).

He has endeavoured to prevent the recruitment of this Midwest; for that purpose obstructing the ability for players not to fear their coach eating them; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither as to get a quality education in a land not filled with bovine, backwoods idiots.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing Missouri its rightful place at the top of the Big 12 North, despite its clear dominance.

He has made pollsters dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount of their bandwagonning.

He has erected a multitude of Jayhawks, and sent hither swarms of undersized defensive backs to harass weaker Big 12 teams and squeak out victories.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, a gigantic Ass without the Consent of the American Heart Association.

He has affected to render the Jayhawks independent of and superior to the natural order of Kansas sucking at football.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For robbing us of our rightful position at #2 (and pre-emptive #1):

For being granted undue attention given their horrendous schedule and inability to defeat mediocre times by more than 6:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the Kansas City:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent by forcing us to watch his fat ass waddle around our HD screens:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of national attention and darlinghood:

For transporting us to neutral field into a bevy of drunken moron Jayhawk fans:

For abolishing the free System of rightful ascension through program stability, establishing therein an effective offense, and enlarging its recruiting Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these high schools

For taking away our position at the top of the Big 12 North, abolishing our most valuable asset and altering fundamentally the BCS selection process:

For suspending our own bathrooms as to install forklifts to lift his fatass to the lid, and declaring himelf invested with power to eat everyone's baby:

He has abdicated Common Sense here, by declaring us himself a legitimate title threat.

He has plundered the North, ravaged our the South, burnt Nebraska, and destroyed the lives of the Big 12's people, all of which we support, but that is, in fact, our job now.

He is at this time transporting his gigantic ass to compleat the works of forgery, deception, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of lucky schedulting & weak competition scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized BCS conference.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our Kansas City, the merciless Jayhawk Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of KFCs, McDonalds, Krispy Kremes, drive-through liquor stores, and Wal-Marts.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated lower BCS standings. A Coach, whose team is thus marked by every act which may define a paper disgrace, is unfit to be the ruler of a BCS Conference.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our national brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by Kansas to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over the national title game. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our legitimate 10-1 record and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of legitimacy. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of college football, Enemies in season, in Offseason Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the Zou, in RockMNation, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Football Gods for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of Missouri, solemnly publish and declare, That is Missouri team is, and of Right ought to be the victors of the Border War and Big 12 North Champions, that they are Absolved from all comparison to the Kansas Jayhawks, and that all media connection between them and the State of Kansas, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as the Border War Victors, they have full Power to play in the Big 12 Championship game, the BCS Championship Game, contract Sports Illustrated Championship Editions, establish Commerce through licensed sportswear to be worn nationwide, and to do all other Acts and Things which Champions may of right do. -- And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Fottball Justice, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Whiskey, and our sacred Honor.

M
I
Z

Fuck
K
U.

My favorite so far:

"Party like its 1863"

They have

#2
Lou Holtz
SI
and Corso.

I'm worried about the weather. I'm not going to lie.

"Honk if your high school played KU"

"Quantrill half-assed it"

"Obesity lives here"

mangino likes cupcakes

Not much laundry to do today like the CU game...but all day to drink....hey...it worked last time....right?

I've got turkey leftovers, fresh salsa, and a case of boulevard I brought back from the homeland.

Corso picking the Tigers was satisfying, but worrisome, because we've done so well as the underdog.

We still have the #2, SI, Lou Holtz trifecta though.

I went to the store and target and ran into a kU fan both times, decked in Tiger gear. That was awkward.

Also getting lots of "Good luck tonight!"s.  

Now it's nap time, baby.

Holy God, we're 1:15 from the Border War.

Holy God.

am i missing something?

I'm proud to be a Mizzou grad, alum, and fan.

Let's do this.

MIZ!

i don't know how well it's going to go down

1:04 till gametime, holy motherrucker.

I really hope the game tonight is not tainted by refs. I mean, Notre Dame had a TD overturned by pac ten officials and it was the worst call I have ever seen. (#2 is the coffman td against nebraska. they are still showing that on the promo for the game though)

The dog is amused.

I'm also rereading all the previous live game threads.

gary thorne and sc-clemson are not doing a good job of entertaining me.

Who's with us tonight?

Hold steady, defense, don't get knocked back. Just do your thing and keep aggressive.

Pinkel, don't tuck it in. Let's play loose and go after them just like we've gone after everyone else.

Have fun.

MIZ!

HD TV: check

sound system on 50 bazillion: check

stomach filled with pizza: check

gameday beer: i'm a minor and my source is out of town, damnit

remote: check

mizzou tee shirt: check

musberger and herbstriet: check

shaking: check

everything out of the way of hitting, slapping, being broken: check

IM READY!!!!!!!

M-I-Z!

This is for Pig Brown.

This is for the Columns.

This is for Missouri.

Go Tigers.

By the way, Perry Farrel from Jane's Addiction and Porno for Pyros is still alive, by the way, and working for ABC. I'm confused.

...and I'm starting to get nauseous...

Come on, The Boy. Musberger? Really?

Poor man's Keith Jackson. Gotta love Herbie though.

START THE GAME!!!

I'm thankful for it.

Let's go!

sweeeeeeeeeeet

HUGE...

J-Mac trips over Goldsmith on return

get those butterflies out of your stomach chase.

Means the adrenaline is pumping. Need to settle him down.

Eerily reminiscent of the NU game in Lincoln last year.

Settle down, Chase. Let's go to work!

We do not want a defensive slugfest.

mizzou's screwed.

I don't know why I say she doesn't get excited enough for Mizzou games.

don't do stupid shit like that.

Shouldn't the Department of Homeland Security be on Mizzou's side?

stupid call

Franklin is playing flat out badly last few games.

are feeding off of the energy in the stadium. Neither offense looks comfortable.

We've just got to settle down and run our game. We're improving, but we can't have stupid penalties like that.

Again, I like that Pinkel's not holding anything back. That's been a problem with him in the past. I want him to want to win the games, not not lose them.

that looked bad from the start.

Just landed on that shoulder....

That's usually the Coffman route.

Don't take the points.

Go for the jugular.

WE CALL THAT THE MOTHERRUCKER!

good call pinkel.

4th and 1 and they nail it...gulp...i'm about to pass out. i hope maclin is ok

We're getting pressure already, which is a great pattern. We always start to get pressure and get better as the game goes on.

NO breakdowns, guys! Get after 'em!

INT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just gonna say that 40 yarder took the wind out of my sails a bit, and then wow!

Defense steps up in the red zone again!

MIZ!

Most brutal officiating crew in the Big 12.

Bad news.

Did MU just run a play under center?

TSquared came to play! Way to play like a senior!

looks dazed and confused

Franklin is struggling.

Needed that holding call.

oh wow chase for heisman!

Nebraska ALL over again.

You can't ask a secondary to cover our receivers for 10 seconds. Poor defensive play call.

couldn't asked for much better so far.

by Carl Gettis. ESPECIALLY on third down.

off the upright!

SAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT!!!!

i thought that was going to sneak back in there.

running out of his mind.

This is fortunate since the run blocking has been suspect on this drive.

Gotta step up here D, no TDs before half.

C'mon guys!

that's just bad...

we're getting lucky now.

it should be 14-6.

We're only up two scores!

This game is still intense!

Let's take advaantage and score!

I love our team!

a weird bcs scenario.

We have to step on the neck in the 2nd half.

It's time to step up here.

Mangino sounds lost.

Migrate to our new thread:

http://www.rockmnation.com/story/200...

Bandwidth and comments on this one are starting to get crazy...