Rock M Roundtable

1 - The Zeus of Football Gods comes to you and offers you this deal: Mizzou will go 1-1 over the next two games, guaranteed. Do you pick the higher profile W against Oklahoma or the near north-clinching W against the hated rival?

2 - From Chris Fowler On Twitter: "Still hunting for Mizzou guest picker. The 2 Brads (Pitt and Smith) not available and Our pal Sheryl Crow touring Europe. More ideas?" 
Knowing this, who would you want to see?

3 - Every logical part of me still feels that we'll lose on Saturday, but over the last few days, I’ve had a feeling that somehow this year is different and might be the one that we can finally get over the hurdle. If I were to bet on the game, there is no way I could go with Mizzou. But does anyone else just have that unexplainable,
against all logic ‘feeling’ that this year is somehow different?

4 -
What’s the best activity/thing to do between 3:30am and 8am waiting for Gameday to start?

(But first, an interlude...from Monday...)

Monday

Michael Atchison: I thought I’d throw this out to the Roundtable gang first.  I have four extra tickets for Saturday.  They’re on the press box side, Section H, Row 57 (which puts you between the 25 and 30 yard lines).  They have chairbacks, and as a bonus, you get a parking pass in lot P, which is immediately south of Mizzou Arena.  The price is the face value of the four tickets: $300.  The chairbacks and parking pass are free.  Whether sitting directly behind me is considered a bonus or a burden I leave up to you.

If you or someone you love would be interested, let me know.

The Beef: Thanks for the offer Atch…I think we are good, but make sure that parking pass does not go to waste, especially since we too park back in Lot P…are you back there also?

ghtd36: I'll give you $50 total, but you have to give me back $20 if Mizzou loses.

I look forward to your reply.

ZouDave: Can I get the parking pass without necessarily getting the tickets?  I may be able to get those tickets sold in a matter of minutes, but I want the parking pass for myself :-)

The Beef: That is NOT bad idea right there…sell the tickets…and you guys park back in Lot P…and bloody marys shall flow

ZouDave: I'm working on the tickets right now, hope to have an answer soon but I have friends that were asking about tickets a couple of weeks ago.

ghtd36: So, there will be a tailgate?

/invites self

Michael Atchison: You can buy the whole package and parcel it out however you want (keep the pass, sell the tix, whatever).  I just don’t want to do multiple transactions on my end because, well, I don’t want to.  Time spent there is time taken away from the RMN hoops preview.

And Greg, I was going to take your deal before Dave came along with his idea.

ZouDave: I'm going to be out of pocket for about 2 hours but hope to have an answer then.  I will probably take the whole package, but don't want to commit without hearing from them.  If you sell it all before then, c'est la vie.  But if you want to give me until about 2:00 I'll tell you for sure then

ghtd36: YOU RUIN EVERYTHING, DAVE

The Beef: Can this all be included in the roundtable?  We need to bring our A-game this week and this is a good start at least.  A three-day roundtable?  Never been done…

Bill C.: If somebody else is willing to paste the 3,000-email exchange together, I'm all for it.

The Beef: Oh geez…just suck it up there Nancy…this is for the good of the program.

Michael Atchison: Take your time.

I was hoping I could sucker Dave into this deal, because he’s – by far – the most convenient trading partner.

And Seth may be right (have those words ever been written?).  Given the stemwinder we unleashed last week and the game that followed, our readers are going to demand a herculean effort this week.  Sadly, I’m not sure Greg is up to it.  Greg, you know what that is?  Disrespect.

ghtd36: Speaking of DISRESPECT, the latest edition of "Sooner Disrespect Chronicles" is taking shape. Let's put it this way: the theory that all white men who wear visors must be blood-related factors in heavily.

(An hour later...)

ZouDave: Alright I have 2 commitments for the tickets, am working on the other 2.  Should hopefully know very soon.  Pretty sure I'll be taking this off your hands.

(Two hours later...)

ZouDave: Alright Atch, I'll officially take the whole package (OH MY GOD TWSS!!!)

Two good friends of mine are using two, and the other two are going to Merlin of Tigerboard fame.  Do you want to try to meet up tomorrow to do the exchange?

PUMPED!  LOT P HERE I COME!

Wednesday

(The three-day roundtable did not take shape, but a two-dayer should satisfy the roundtable gods...)

The Beef: Zeus was not a football god…he was an Antler…

1 - I take this game…partly because of the focus, and partly because if we do win, we can still win the north without beating NU (in theory at least).

2 - I guess Jon Hamm is an idea…Norm Stewart I have to believe is the backup (though this was HOTLY contested on another site this week I believe).  Hell, the Grand Marshall (whose name escapes me currently) is a TV guy…throw him up there.

3 - I almost stroked out this morning on my way to work imagining a game-winning FG as time expired by Ressel…and then I almost missed my turn.  Take it for what it is worth (which is very little).

4 - I assume the answer is stand around, stay warm and dry and wait for the buzz to wear off.

Bill C.: 1 - Ask me at kickoff.  If OSU beats Nebraska, then I pick beating OU because Mizzou could then lose to Nebraska and maintain a one-game lead in the North.  Plus, well, the atmosphere Saturday night if Mizzou beats OU would be, um, something.

2 - Hamm seems like the most obvious choice ... if he can even pretend to know something about football, anyway.  I know he's a sports guy, but I don't know which sports.  I assume John Anderson is out because he has to pretend to be objective or something.  If Norm's in Florida or something, I say just let our buddy Dale [last name redacted] do it.  That would be fun.

3 - This time feels different because it's this time.  In the name of "Great moments are born of great opportunity," you can't have the moment without the opportunity, and there's a boatload of opportunity this time around.  Also, that was a good opportunity to use "opportunity" three times in one opportunistic sentence.

4 - Keeping a diary for RMN.

Michael Atchison: 1.  This, friends, is either a conundrum or a dilemma, or perhaps both.  Logic tells me that Nebraska is the game to win, and it would be a nice wet kiss to give them upon leaving the league, but we’ve climbed that hill before.  Oklahoma, on homecoming, at night, on GameDay, with me in attendance . . .  I’ll take Oklahoma.

2.  I agree that Hamm is the obvious choice, but if he’s not available, I’d love of fistful of Robert Loggia.  Because he’s Robert Loggia.  That’s L as in . . . . Barring that, how about Chris Cooper and Tom Berenger together, or half the staff of the ESPN family (John Anderson, TJ Quinn, Pat Forde, Wright Thompson and on and on and on)?

3.  I’ve got a little of that feeling.  And there are two reasons: (1) Oklahoma hasn’t been consistently steamrolling teams like in the past; and (2) this Mizzou team is winning differently than in the past.  I don’t think the Tigers will hold the Sooners scoreless like against CU or to nine points like against A&M, but I can seem them holding OU to 21.  And if they do that, they have every chance in the world to win.  It will really help if they’re at least +1 in turnover margin.  +2 would be even better.

4.  I’m going to go with a prostate exam.  As we learned last week, a healthy prostate is key to dominant football.

RPT: 1. Give me the one against Nebraska as long as it comes with a guarantee of winning the North, because then you (presumably) get another shot at Oklahoma at JerryWorld.

2. I'm totally fine with the Jon Hamm movement, I'm just surprised there isn't more of a push to get Mike Anderson up there.

3. I've seen fan reaction swing violently enough to both sides that I can't accurately make that call. The same fans that call this a destiny type of year could very well be on the ledge if Missouri struggles in the next two weeks.

4. Perfect your sign for the Rock M Nation sign contest.

Michael Atchison: I think Mike Anderson (along with English, Safford, Demon and Bowers) would be a great, great thing.

ZouDave: Finally out of a damn meeting, usually these things take until 9:30-10:00, but without our CIO there to interrupt everything that gets said we got it done in under 20 minutes.

1 - Well, I pick the Nebraska win and don't look back.  I want to win this game on Saturday really, really badly.  I freaking HATE Oklahoma and they've been a giant monkey on our back in our recent rise to relevance.  They've kept us from going undefeated in the regular season, kept us from reaching the MNC, kept us from winning the conference twice, and have marveled at our DISRESPECT!  But all that said, our first goal is to win the North and we aren't doing that if we don't beat Nebraska.  So let's beat Nebraska and worry about beating OU in the B12 Champ Game.

2 - Norm freaking Stewart.

3 - I'm a Missouri fan.  I feel that way about everything.  Games we're absolutely supposed to win, I of course have a feeling we're going to lose.  Games we're supposed to have no chance in, I have a feeling we're going to win.  We're Mizzou, this is what we do.  If we win on Saturday I will not be able to describe how thrilled I am, and I will yell myself mute in the process, but I won't be surprised.

4 -

The Beef: Man….that’s some good head there.




(if that does not get this roundtable going, I don’t know what will)

RPT: I thought the same thing but didn't want to set it up on a tee for you. Who was I kidding?

Side note: Do we hear from ghtd today? His head is nine more innings of winning ALCS baseball from full-on explosion.

Bill C.: Pecking away at the Disrespect Chronicles, I hope.

The Beef: So Dave’s head is big and ghtd’s head is ready to explode?  Are they together somewhere?

ZouDave: since when is my head big?

RPT: Nolan Ryan thinks Beef is clever:

ZouDave: oh my God, Barry Corbin ate Nolan Ryan!

RPT: Who's Barry Corbin? #YouGuysAreOld

ZouDave: you'd probably have the best chance to know him as the General in WarGames, but he was also the General in the Command & Conquer: Red Alert games.  Most recently he was in No Country for Old Men, he was the old guy in the wheelchair that Tommy Lee Jones talks to at the end of the movie.

Basically he's either a cop, a cowboy or a General in every movie that needs a cop, a cowboy or a General.

The Beef: Wasn’t he in Northern Exposure?

ZouDave: Yes he was, Beef.  Yes he was.

RPT: With a beard like that, I can imagine he hasn't seen much southern exposure...

Michael Atchison: Yeah, he was the crusty old guy who owned everything in town.  I used to watch Northern Exposure all the time . . . before half of you guys were born.

The Beef: I was never big on that show, probably mostly because I was never a fan of Janine Turner’s REALLY short hair

ZouDave: cue the "Who is Janine Turner?" questions.

Bill C.: Are you saying that the youngest member of the roundtable might not recognize someone who was the "It" girl for about four minutes when he was one year old?

The Beef: So is being outscored by 100 in two games keeping Doug from joining us?  Or is he just going to claim some weak-ass excuse relating to time zones or something?

/doingeverythinghecantoannoypeople

ZouDave: Whoa, slow down there maestro.  There's a NEW Mexico?

RPT:

ghtd36: My answers will be forthcoming after:

1) I finish the Sooner Disrespect Chronicles.

2) I finish picking up my brain after it splattered all over the floor on Bengie Molina (the greatest Molina)'s three-run go-ahead homer.

The Beef: So…does that mean sometime this winter?

/betterknowadeadline

/stilltryingmybest

RPT: Oh, sweet mother of science. I recommend we all find a fallout shelter as soon as that "greatest Molina" bit gets posted. Our comment thread is doing to be more devastated than Haiti.

The Beef: But probably not as talented as Texas A&M

ZouDave: DISRESPECT!

ghtd36: Bengie Molina makes Yadier Molina look like Jose Molina.

/pokes bear

The Beef: I feel like we just lost all our crossover members from VivaElBirdos

/thinkstheCardsbiggestproblemsareTLRandPujols

/doesnotknowwhyIdonothitthespacebar

ZouDave: hey for the record, Texas A&M has a running back named Ben Malena.  Is he more talented than Bengie Molina?

ghtd36: Cedar Hill's own Ben Malena!

/Dallas reference nobody but RPT will get

Michael Atchison: You didn’t like the show because of one character’s haircut? You’re a finely calibrated machine, Beef.

Maybe this will help Doug come out of hibernation.  Project yourself back to just a little less than three years ago, when Mizzou and Kansas played for the nation’s number one ranking, and a de facto spot in football’s final four.  Now back to present day, with Mizzou undefeated and about to host GameDay, and Kansas coming off two vicious beatings against teams traditionally in the league’s lower half.  There’s really no question there, I just wanted to see those words in print.

The Beef: Wow…some stone-cold SMACK from Atch there…gotta love it

ZouDave: I like the way you think, Atch.

Bill C.: Just for fun, I pulled up the Roundtable from MU-KU week in 2007 ... gotta say, whoever this "The Boy" character was, he was kinda lame...

ZouDave: ha...the word "apostate" got some run that day.  Awesome!

ghtd36: Saturday has a chance to thrust me into Sports Nirvana.

Or, it has a chance to thrust me squarely into Sports Hell.

Your move, traditionally underachieving teams I stupidly chose to associate myself with.

Michael Atchison: Not sure how much good I’m going to be today.  My wife just got an iPad and I can’t stop playing Angry Birds.

ZouDave: cue the "Who is Alfred Hitchcock?" questions.

Then cue Beef and I laughing over the name Hitchcock.

ghtd36: Get it? IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HITCH IS A MOVIE WITH WILL SMITH!

Doug: 1 - Better question... what does the Zeus of Football Gods look like? Lombardi? Bear Bryant? Corso?

2 - Quinn and Nnorm

3 - Let's see... no, no I do not.

4 - My wife is in ABQ this weekend, so I think I'll spare you the list of activies on the docket for us. And, surprisingly, not a one includes even watching Gameday at the moment.

RPT: "Better question... what does the Zeus of Football Gods look like? Lombardi? Bear Bryant? Corso?"

Too easy:

ZouDave: the Zeus of Football Gods looks like Barry Corbin, obviously.

and you can't tell me you won't have time to watch Gameday.  Nobody will blame you if you miss the first 90 seconds.

Doug: Sorry, but I don't want Corso killing the mood for the entire weekend.

The Beef: Just to come back to it…the Hitchcock thing DID make me laugh

ZouDave: So what exactly would it be like to be doing...that...with your wife and hear him saying "NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND!"

The Beef: Hopefully it would mean you don’t hear the words be spoken in unison

Doug: That, and I get the feeling Lee has a thing for Furries.

ghtd36: By the way, just to be clear: we want Corso picking OU, right? With Skip Bayless already hitching his wagon to Mizzou, we can't afford another anchor.

Doug: Oh, Skip Bayless is already picking Missouri?

Well, it was a fun run while it lasted.  Sorry guys.

ZouDave:

Corso picked us to beat kansas in '07, and he picked OU to beat us in Norman in '07.  I'm pretty sure he picked Texas to beat us in Austin in '08.  So in our appearances on Gameday, he's 3 for 4.

I'll take it.  The only problem with him picking us is the MOUNTAIN of DISRESPECT it will show to OU.

Doug: I just threw up in my mouth.

A lot.

(30 minutes later...)

ZouDave: I feel like I've accomplished something by killing this roundtable before 10:30am

The Beef: Yeah…that picture is going to be tough to overcome

RPT: Yep.

ZouDave: especially for Doug.  He's just going to hear "Yo" and "Sweetheart" in his mind while trying to have alone time with the wife.

The Beef: While he hears “Not so fast my friend” from her?

Doug: Let’s go back to Doug’s stamina.  He’ll have lots of explaining to do if he carries this roundtable to greatness, and this roundtable carries the Tigers to victory, and victory carries Missouri to a shot at the national title.  It’s all on you Doug.

ghtd36: I never, ever want to discuss Doug's stamina.

Ever.

ZouDave:

Michael Atchison: You never wanted to discuss BEEF’s prostate, and then the Tigers beat the hell out of A&M.  Suck it up, man.  This is important.

ZouDave: Raise your hand if you ever thought you'd have "BEEF's prostate" and "suck it up" said to you in a single email.

The Beef: I am just sitting here amazed my prostate is a continued topic of conversation…and that I need to tell the Tailgate Queen to NOT read the Roundtable…again.

ZouDave: are the Chase Daniel as celebrity picker rumors going to prove true?

RPT: How have we not discussed this?

The Beef: Holy black and gold…

ghtd36: Bill is to hip-hop as ZouDave is to Jenna Haze.

/BOOM JENNA HAZE REFERENCE NO WAY WE LOSE

ZouDave: to my knowledge there are no pictures of me pretending to be with Jenna Haze...

RPT: Photoshop ENGAGE.

Bill C.: Oh god...

ghtd36:

ZouDave: I think that's the name of one of her movies

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