FanPost

A Rivalry is Born

*ring ring*

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Mr. Barta, Tom Osbourne from the University of Nebraska is on line 1.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Tom! How are you?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Hello Gary! I'm fine, fine. How are you?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I'm just great, and let me say how much the entire Hawkeye family is looking forward to having the Nebraska Cornhuskers join our great conference!

 Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well, thank you. Gosh, we're awfully excited about joining the Big Ten, and we're especially excited at the chance to build a rivalry with the Iowa Hawkeyes! What an interesting mascot!

 Image and video hosting by TinyPic Haha Yes, it's unusual. Some like to call us the Alan Alda of college football.

 Image and video hosting by TinyPic I'm sorry, I don't listen to hip hop.

 Image and video hosting by TinyPic Ah.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic It's such a shame that we won't have the opportunity to start our rivalry in this year's Insight Bowl. It tears me up that such a historically strong program should be forced to waste its efforts on such marginal competition.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well, thank you Tom, but we're actually looking forward to playing Missouri!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I was talking about Nebraska.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Oh.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about today was this. We're putting together next year's media guide and, well, we want to really emphasize the higher quality of competition we'll be facing! Gosh, we're awfully excited that we won't be playing Kansas anymore!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic haha Well, don't forget, you still have to play Purdue.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic haha Well, I guess no conference is perfect. Anyway, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about your program?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Fire away!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic All right. First, how many football National Championships does Iowa have?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic We won ours in 1958.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Oh.  Just one?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Is that a problem?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well... we just thought that a program with Iowa's history would have a few more than that.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Er, well, they aren't easy to come by.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic We have five you know.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Yes, I've heard that.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic And a lot of our fans don't remember anything before 1970, so...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well, what can I say? We've had a rough patch.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Yes, well, I suppose not everyone in the Legends Division can be a legend. Moving on.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic ...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic How many seats are there in your stadium?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Ah! Kinnick Stadium has a capacity of 70,585. We're one of the 20 largest college-owned stadiums in the nation!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Oh.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Let me guess-

Image and video hosting by TinyPic 81,067. I guess I was just led to believe that Big Ten football programs played in big stadiums.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Yes, well, we're pretty big.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I guess it's a little different for you since you have to share a state fanbase with your in-state rival.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Yeah, losing those 32 Iowa State fans has really killed us.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Did you know we have signs on our stadium saying, "Through These Gates Pass the Greatest Fans in College Sports". You should consider putting something like that on your stadium.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well, our fans already know they're pretty great, so I don't think-

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I meant for our fans.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wait a minute, you want us to put signs up in on our stadium praising your fans?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Gosh, our fans would be awfully excited about that!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Well, let me tell you how ours fans would feel-

Image and video hosting by TinyPic And another thing, I don't think your team colors are going to work for us.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic What in the hell is wrong with our team colors?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Black and gold?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Black and OLD Gold.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic It's just that, well, black and gold reminds us of Missouri and that reminds us of how Missouri and Texas conspired to chase us out of the Big XII.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I don't remember it happening that way-

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Did you see those uniforms Iowa State wore against Missouri?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic You mean the Ronald McDonald clown suits? God, those things were hideous.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Maybe you should wear those when we play.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Whoa, wait. You want the Iowa Hawkeyes to wear Iowa State's uniforms because black and gold reminds you of Texas?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic We sure don't like Texas. Say, we could style the games as Big Red vs. Little Red!  Gosh, our fans would be awfully excited about that!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Tell you what, Tom, how about we style it the SCREW YOU BOWL?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Gosh!  I-I thought the Big Ten was classier than this!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Yeah, well, &^#$ you.  You want a rivalry Tom?  You got it!  Prepare to get your cornholes stomped!  And if those two thugs you call coaches try and pull any of their crap, I'll kick the $@!% out of them myself right there on the field!  You ain't playing Kansas anymore buddy!  FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FOR IOWA! *click*

 

Meanwhile, in Columbia...

 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic So, did they buy it?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic *putting down phone*  Hell yes they bought it!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic haha High five!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Seriously, that was too easy.  How did we not get into the Big Ten again?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic *sigh* Stupid Jay Nixon.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Hey, who should we call next?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Call Jim Tressel at Ohio State. Tell him that Nebraska fans are superstitious about sweater vests and ask him if he'll start wearing hoodies on the sideline.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic haha Stupid sweater vests.  Let's do it!


*Concept shamelessly stolen from our new hated rivals at BHGP.

<em>FanPosts may be posted by any RMN member and may not reflect the views of the management staff of Rock M Nation or SB Nation.</em>

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