In the style of Texts From Last Night, we present to you college basketball's texts from last month. Enjoy!
785: dude, where the hell did my facebook account go?
1-785: don't ask, tyshawn. don't ask.
859: seriously, man. i'm unhappy.
Rest of America: cry me a river, john f*ing wall. take your immense talent elsewhere to complain.
803: i must have been plastered. i feel like i got hit by a truck last night.
1-803: that wasn't a truck. that was a pissed off demarcus cousins' fist.
785: i got drunk and had a bad dream that tennessee's walk ons beat us.
1-785: yes. a dream. that's exactly what it was.
312: i think i'm waking up still drunk. i coulda sworn i just heard espn say depaul won a big east game.
573: dude, how much illegal contact can cole aldrich get away with in the paint?
1-573: still less than sherron collins can get away with in an elevator.
573: i gotta stop getting drunk on trips to lawrence.
785: nah, by all means, please continue. we insist.
785: WHERE'S MY DAMN CALAMARI. WHO TOWED MY CAR. WHY CAN'T CLEMENTE FIND HIS DAMN RHYTHM. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO PISSED OFF.