College Basketball Texts from Last Month

In the style of Texts From Last Night, we present to you college basketball's texts from last month. Enjoy!

785: dude, where the hell did my facebook account go?
1-785: don't ask, tyshawn. don't ask.

859: BACK AT #1. HELL YEAH BIG BLUE WOOOOO.
803: lol

859: seriously, man. i'm unhappy.
Rest of America: cry me a river, john f*ing wall. take your immense talent elsewhere to complain.

803: i must have been plastered. i feel like i got hit by a truck last night.
1-803: that wasn't a truck. that was a pissed off demarcus cousins' fist.

785: i got drunk and had a bad dream that tennessee's walk ons beat us.
1-785: yes. a dream. that's exactly what it was.

405: more like octagon of GLOOM, lol.
785: dude, your puns suck even worse when you're drunk.

860: suck it, whorns. big east rules.
512: enjoy providence, bitch.

312: i think i'm waking up still drunk. i coulda sworn i just heard espn say depaul won a big east game.

573: dude, how much illegal contact can cole aldrich get away with in the paint?
1-573: still less than sherron collins can get away with in an elevator.
573: zing

573: i gotta stop getting drunk on trips to lawrence.
785: nah, by all means, please continue. we insist.

785: WHERE'S MY DAMN CALAMARI. WHO TOWED MY CAR. WHY CAN'T CLEMENTE FIND HIS DAMN RHYTHM. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO PISSED OFF.