Here at Rock M Nation, we try to dance around bad news as best we can. We like to keep things light, you know? Nobody wants to be a bummer.
So, here we go: three crappy stories spun positively, complete with
hilarious, unrelated gif APPARENTLY YOU CAN'T PUT GIFS IN THIS DAY GETS SO MUCH WORSE OH WELL HERE'S A CUTE LITTLE RODENT THING!
-Jimmy "Battle of the" Burge was arrested last night in Jasper County on suspicion of possession of drug paraphernalia. But on the bright side, it was ONLY three grams of marijuana and a shotgun! Coulda been a lot worse! Hey-o!
-Mizzou self-reported 17 secondary violations to the NCAA, the most enjoyable of which is "The girlfriend of a football player received an 'occasional' meal at the home of an athletics representative." Sounds sexy! Yeah!
-John Kadlec, the commentary voice of the football Tigers for the past 16 years, is retiring. He's a legend. My sincere hope is that he lives a long, healthy, awesome life, and he's replaced by Macho Man Randy Savage.
Mike Kelly: "Lawrence down the sideline, hemmed in at the 35, falls forward to the 11."
Randy Savage: "HE SNAPPED OFF THAT BIG RUN, OOOOH YEAH! LINEBACKERS NEED TO WORK ON THEIR PURSUIT ANGLES, OOOOH YEAH! IF THEY DON'T GET A FULLBACK, I'M GOING TO GIVE DAVID YOST A FLYING ELBOW DROP, OOOOOH YEAH!"