MU Basketball as Ocean's 13 characters

"The Daily Wiz" for Sporting KC Soccer just did their roster as Major League characters... and what better way to honor the MU basketball roster than with an ensemble cast like Soderbergh brought together for his con-trilogy.  So, onwards.

Danny Ocean (George Clooney): Coach Mike Anderson. Duh. The mastermind behind the madness. He can't pull it off at a major conference school. He won't be able to recruit the big time players he needs. And once the success comes, no one is quite sure what twist he managed to include and pull off.

Rueben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould): Mike Alden. The money man behind the scenes. He funds Ocean's cockamamie schemes, and ends up smelling like roses.

Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt): Kim English. The biggest name. Handles the biggest moments with aplomb and gravitas. Definitely Ocean's go to guy, and yet... He never steals the show, or the scene. He is content to just get things running smoothly and make sure the gang wins in the end.

Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon): Marcus Denmon. Unsure of his role and his place in the lineup to start with. But Ocean trusted everything (EVERYTHING) with him when the chips were on the table. And Linus responded and became the key member of their biggest con. Egoless and focused.

Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner): Justin Safford. The old guy with every disguise in the book. You need the aging German billionaire? Done. You need the spot up 17 footer? Done. He takes the less glamorous gig with the most danger, because he is the quintessential team player.

Frank Catton (Bernie Mac): Laurence Bowers. If you wanted to start a party with one member of Ocean's gang; it would certainly be Frank. He is a wild card and a loose cannon sometimes, and yet will set the chain of events in motion better than anyone else.

Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison): Mike Dixon, Jr. He would never be able to pull off a con of any size on his own (See O11, where he was found in the employ of some larger group) but the gang would never, NEVER be able to get anywhere close to pulling off their heists without his technical brilliance. His mind processes the whole system at once, and he is the eyes and ears for everyone else.

Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle): Steve Moore. He shows up unexpectedly, sometimes underground, sometimes on the top of a building, and usually, soon after he shows up; explosions ensue.

Yen (Shaobo Qin): Ricky Kreklow. He doesn't really seem to "fit in", yet he "fits" just about anywhere Ocean decides to put him. He is a hidden, secret weapon, waiting to spring out at opportune times to make his play.

Virgil & Turk Malloy (Casey Affleck and Scott Caan): Phil and Matt Pressey. Brothers with high expectations, and seemingly unorthodox methods. Virgil (Phil) spent a portion of 13 away from the gang in Mexico (injured). But the role he played upon his return, and his unquestioned genius make him a star for the future. Turk  (Matt) loves to drive. And drive. And drive.

Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia): Ricardo Ratliffe. He wasn't on the team to start, playing for a different team. But they brought him into the fold when they needed him, and he pays dividends immediately. He is powerful in a way the gang isn't used to having around, but it still takes him a little bit of time to feel like he fits into the plan.

Roman Nagel (Eddie Izzard): Jarrett Sutton. Talented and precise and doesn't get a lot of run. But once the con is in full swing, and the gang needs that one little boost to get everything squared away, knowing they have it all in hand, he shows up to great effect.

Willy Bank (Al Pacino): Bill Self. Ocean's gang will earthquake your pride and joy, and steal your livelihood while they are at it, and you won't know which strange character or passing nobody it was that cemented the deal. You might focus on Ocean or Rusty, but its the rest of the gang, working together, that will seal the deal.