FanPost

VOTE: After The Pie Wars, The Cult Wars must be settled:

Many of you may have witnessed the rise of two powerful cults on RMN over the past couple of weeks. The current RMN Cult situation is no longer tenable and must be resolved by the RMN community. Please explain your thought process in the comments, no matter how silly. This is NOT a popularity contest, this is about your philosophy and approach to life.

First arose the Cult of Threadkiller in November: TK Cult Link

Here are the properties of Cult of TK:

Drink: Tang preferred in the Kool-Aide family. Occasional good beer.

Food: Featuring cheesecake, pie, and beef jerky. NO Thin Mints or chocolate with mint period. Cold cuts are highly regarded. KC BBQ is enjoyed including at chain restaurants. Leader is strongly #TeamPie. Tailgates for 11am games consist of cold cuts.

Star Wars: All Star Wars movies are of value and unique.

Holidays: Do not mix cults and holidays.

Ladies: Hot sexy Ninja chicks serve dessert to members (thank you Doc Ausgiano picture link).

Home: Compound in SW Missouri

Endgame: Members may leave at any time as they wish (SEC policy).

Special: Sasquatch is a famous member, messin with him is a tradition. Membership limited, there is a waiting list, and it doesn't include beakers as they are hated beyond all else. Cardinal fans welcomed. High school football fan club. Great respect to the scripture means this cult may actually be approved by the man upstairs. Children are wonderful and our future.

Then came the Cult of Mizzou 2396 on December 8: Cult of 2396 link

Here are the properties of Cult 2396:

Drink: Crystal Light preferred in the Kool-Aide family, but add real sugar for taste. Also beer, whiskey, infused/cured vodka, bloody marys.

Food: Leader is strongly #TeamCake and hates cheesecake yet provides all desserts for followers including Thin Mints. Veal is a preferred meat. Cold cuts are frowned upon. BBQ KC style, but not at the chains. Breakfast always at tailgates for 11am games.

Star Wars: Watch prequels at risk of death. Original Trilogy only.

Holidays: No members work on holidays, including Arbor Day. Halloween is biggest recruiting day with candy, Junior Mints are a hit.

Ladies: Leader was able to convert a beaker.

Home: Compound in KC. Basement full of gold coins for Scrooge McDuck-type swimming.

Endgame: Suicide is the expected method of departure. "We will commit suicide better than other cults!"

Special: Most famous member is Chewbacca. "We are an awakening more than a cult." Inclusive membership, beakers allowed. Royals sympathizers welcomed. The next generation is doomed.

Please vote to select the official RMN cult.

Note: MizzouRugby's fan club does NOT count as a cult. You may be a member of the fan club and still vote for a cult.

FanPosts may be posted by any RMN member and may not reflect the views of the management staff of Rock M Nation or SB Nation.

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