Our Handles 2, Electric Boogaloo: Guessing First Names

Okay, two disclaimers: 1. I have not attempted a Fan Post before, so I really don't know what to expect when I hit Publish; 2. This is pretty stupid idea in the first place. Having said that, enjoy (or not)..

So, in the course of natural conversations here on Rock M (whatever that means), we learned that our beloved BST's real first name is Kurt, and yesterday it was again brought to our attention that our Middle School Wizard of Film Study, MizzouRugby, is actually Miles in the real world. If memory serves, young Threadkiller was caught off guard by both of these revelations. And that, RMN, is why I have chosen to sequel (without gaining expressed written consent) his very entertaining Fan Post from two months back.

First names are interesting. Working in education, I have met (or heard lore) of people naming their children Shithead (pronounced sha-TADE), twins: Lemonjello and Orangejello (la-MON-jello and o-RON-jello), and Semaj (James backwards, because we wanted a boy and were surprised in the delivery room). Every educator I know has a list of names he/she will never consider naming their own future children because they associate said names with bad classroom experiences. First names carry a strange amount of connotation with them, and all of it is 100% subjective. So, if we (not just Threadkiller) become surprised when we learn a long-time poster's actual name, that must mean we have somehow assessed their personality, placed it into a broad category, and we have our own unique set of names that feel right for that category. Kind of makes me wonder what names people think make sense for each of us?

I invite you to make a list of RMN posters, and tell us what name you think seems to fit that compartment of their lives they have deemed fit to share with the rest of us. Only include names if you are totally in the dark over true identities. My list will follow below. No offense to those left off, or misspelled--my memory is not as good as I remember it being once.

tl;dr Let's try to guess each other's first names.

Example: KevinF = Roger, Logan Hill = Stuart

Here we go!

MVPRC = Lance

Spider_Monkey = Jeff

IHatedHarpos = Jennifer

Ausgaino (or however the Good Dock spells it) = Ruben

Tigers and Chiefs Fan = Rebecca

Fullback U = Brett

2396 = Bruce

Gaknar = Gaknar

FatBoyRoy (1&2) = Bryan

Jschool = Winston

stlcardsfang = Scott

FanPosts may be posted by any RMN member and may not reflect the views of the management staff of Rock M Nation or SB Nation.

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