Threadkiller in Antacrtica: The Trilogy (Episode 2: The Desolation of Penguin #693)
So, we’ve settled in here at McMurdo, and now we’re ready to begin our work in earnest. Esteban, our expedition leader, gave me my first assignment today! Many individuals in the colony we intend to study have been tagged previously, but by and large, they are not accustomed to human contact. It is important that we gain their trust. While these "scientists" fiddled with their instruments and whatnot, I was sent outside to make their acquaintance with 50lbs of cigar minnows.
It wasn’t long before I met my new nemesis: Penguin #693.
Okay, I know that some debate whether people have souls, let alone animals, but this little turd is evil to the core. No matter where I threw the fish, 693 would chase the other birds away and eat every single bite. I threw handfuls in both directions; nobody moved but him. These boxes come 5-pounds each, and that fat little bas@$#d consumed all ten boxes by himself! Then, he just sort listed to his starboard side like a boat taking on water. I think he was trying to lie down but had lost the power. Meanwhile, the rest of the entire group (numbering above 200) had become disinterested and wandered off into the white.
Esteban came out to check on my progress, only to find 10 empty boxes, one regurgitating grotesque male, and Penguin #693. I tried to explain what happened, but Esteban seemed to lose interest very quickly (I saw this same look in his eyes during on conversations aboard the container ship). I have since taken to calling 693 "Saximus" because he reminds me of a friend back home that likes getting me into trouble with bosses. Esteban said we needed to observe Saximus for a few days, to make sure everything comes out okay. They’ve made him a temporary habitat in my bunk, and I have taken up residence with our dog team. Malamutes provide more warmth than huskies; lock that one away for hard times. I don’t have any pictures of Saximus, but here’s a quick sketch I made in my field journal. I’ll give him 2 days; then comes the ban hammer..