Tremendous Stubble Pledge Drive: The Fun Part

I'm good at Photoshop.

Well, thus ends another fantastic season for the Mizzou softball team and our semi-bearded spiritual guide Ehren "Tremendous Stubble" Earleywine. If you think about it, while the Tigers were not able to secure a fourth consecutive trip to the Women's College World Series -- that honor goes to noted professional wrestling heel pitcher Brittany Mack and the LSU Tigers -- they still had a heck of a run.

And with the close of the Tigers' postseason run comes the close of the Second Annual Tremendous Stubble Pledge Drive, benefiting the MU Children's Hospital. But before we can put a tidy little bow on that, there's one tiny little bit of business to which we have to attend:

It's time to pay up, suckers.

Yes, you all made pledges as to what you would do for various successes of the Mizzou softball team, and now it's time to make good on those pledges. If you forgot what you said you'd give, you can go back and check the original post.

Total up what you owe. Here's some help on some of the more common prop bets.

4 wins
44 Chelsea Thomas strikeouts
3 home runs
41 hits
16 runs

If you made a really, really intricate prop bet (LOOKING AT YOU, MCBOOMOFDOOM), your best bet would be to go through the box scores and calculate your own total. Here's the box scores for Game 1 (Illinois State), Game 2 (DePaul), Game 3 (Illinois State), Game 4 (LSU), Game 5 (LSU) and Game 6 (LSU).

So, you've calculated how much you owe to the MU Children's Hospital. Now, it's time to donate.

DONATION INSTRUCTIONS

We're donating directly to the MU Children's Hospital this year, because collating a bunch of other people's money in my PayPal account makes me really tense. Here is the link to the donation page. Click it, and you'll see this.

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In the drop down box under "Fund", you're going to choose "Children's Hospital." Then, enter the amount you're going to donate.

Finally -- and this is very important -- make sure you write "Tremendous Stubble" in the text box for Memorial Gifts underneath. I've been in touch with the wonderful Helen Oetting with MU Health, and she said it's cool to write that as a way of tracking how much we've donated.

So, it should look like this.

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After you click "Continue to Payment Information", it's going to make you confirm your amount and all that jazz. Just keep on rolling onto this page.

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If you've ever bought anything online, this is your most standard credit card information page. If you've never bought anything online, I'm pretty impressed that you were able to navigate to this site, sign up for an account and pledge money based on a collegiate softball coach's facial hair. What I'm saying is, fill out the form.

After you're done with all of that, click "Continue." It'll make you confirm, and then...

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TA DA! You just donated to the MU Children's Hospital on behalf of a bunch of dorks who think Mizzou's softball coach is awesome! Yay!

MU Health will e-mail you confirmation of your donation, and will also put a donation receipt in the mail for you so you can write it off on your taxes, because I hear that's what adults do. I don't know. I don't understand taxes.

We would like for you to donate by Friday. If you can't donate by Friday, that's cool, but we're hoping to be able to have a rough estimate of our total donation by early next week. So, please, don't put this off: fulfill your pledge today!

And, look: I'm not going to hound you on this. If you're going to back out on your pledge, you don't have to tell me. I'm not your mother, but if I was your mother, I would look at you with that "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed" look, which is way worse than the "I'm mad" look.

So please: live up to your end of the bargain. Don't do it for me (that'd be stupid). Don't even do it for Coach Earleywine (which, by the way, did anyone else think he was going to give an umpire the Stone Cold Stunner? I so did).

Do it for these guys:

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And yes, I intentionally picked the cutest picture possible. Deal with it.

Thank you for your participation in the Second Annual Tremendous Stubble Pledge Drive. M-I-Z.

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