I know I know I know, you all think I am a bum because I was out of the office yesterday with some awful allergies. Well, that is probably true. Anyways, here you have it: the reason Tepper hates my face, the real reason my wife married me, and the only reason why this guy has a job:
Thats right! Its Better Know An Opponent: Missi-eh what ever State!
1. History! The University began as The Agricultural and Mechanical College of the State of Mississippi (or Mississippi A&M). It first admitted students in 1880 under the presidency of General Stephen D. Lee. Thank goodness they changed their name from A&M, we all know that only leads to pretentious behavior and a holier than thou attitude. MSU is very proud to have the nationals largest vet school under one roof.
This guy graduated from the venerable MSU vet school, and he looks pretty bad ass to me:
After further inspection of this photo, I realized the tiger appears to be knocked out and the dog is just a sheep dog that looks kinda creepy. Dr. Watson, you are a fraud! Still tho, I wanna take a picture with a tiger.
The Old Main was a huge dormitory for its time and was considered to be the largest in the US before it burned to the ground in 1959. Here is the dorm in its hey dey:
That is pretty big, but it also looks more like a federal penitentiary than a dorm. Considering some of the esteemed alumni that we'll see below, this was very appropriate.
2. Mascots/Nicknames! The Bulldog became Mississippi State's official mascot in 1961.The mascot is lovingly named "Bully." Well, I guess that is at least a little creative. I mean, bully to you guys for using a bulldog and name said bull dog Bully. At least you didn't name it after your university only to have it stroke out every damn fall day it hits 90 degrees plus outside.
Ok, ok Miss. State, I started off wanting to like you. I mean, your like the ISU of the SEC. Backwoods, maybe a bit "slow" and you usually try and put up a good fight. But then the Wikipedia article on your sports "traditions" is only 3 freaking paragraphs long and one of them is about a cowbell, well you are now dead to me!
I will never respect a cowbell unless it is on an actual cow. Then I will bow to said cow before I shoot it in the face and prepare it over a slow bed of coals and smoke then apply generous amounts of bbq sauce. This is what it might look like whilst preparing:
Just look how damn happy that man is. He has to use an entire freaking full size mop just to baste that 900, yes 900 lbs of dead steer on an open spit. Only one word can probably describe how I felt seeing this photo, 'Merica!
3. Sports Teams! Well, MSU is certainly lacking when it comes to their sports teams. I mean, jesus they really do suck quite bad.
Overall, the Bulldogs have won 28 conference regular season championships and 12 tournament championships
That is since 1895! They are averaging one regular season title about every 32 years. Good lord that would even make Iowa State cringe. Their last regular season title came in 2004. I'm sorry Dawg fans, but you guys are good people if you can stick in there through this kind of trepidation.
Well, MSU you suck so bad we actually have to discuss your fight song and band. I know there are people out there who enjoy themselves a good halftime show and a college band, thats all fun and good. I on the other hand, hate researching your crappy band while I should be walking around my office looking busy! The school's fight song is "Hail State," which is performed by the "famous" maroon band. This is what I imagine immediately:
If this is actually what was happening in Starkville, I'd be there every damn game da!
This is just a crappy BKAO. I know, you know it, my mother is mad for having me somewhere right now because of it. I blame it all on the Bully's down south. Really, the only thing that can save it is some otherworldly Embarrassing Alumni!
This school sucks so bad they dont even have a Ken Lay or Tammy Faye Baker to call their own.
Instead of trying to dig deeper and find some more interesting alumni to laugh at, I give you this:
Yes that is a cheese cake topped with brownie bites and chocolate ganache, it looks so good! I'm not gonna lie, I felt something deeply guttural the first time I saw the above picture. It was like the first time I saw boobs in real life, simply amazing. Anyways, here is the recipe so you can make it yourself!
CheesecakeTop with the mini brownies and drizzle with chocolate ganache before serving.
In a small bowl, combine:
1 & 1/3 cups chocolate cookie crumbs
3 tbsp sugar
1/3 cup melted butter
Press into the bottom of a lightly greased or parchment lined 9 inch springform pan. (Grease bottom only!) Parchment paper is ideal here because it makes it very easy to release the cheesecake from the bottom of the pan.
3 eight ounce packages ounces cream cheese
1 cup sugar
Add, one at a time
beating well after each addition. Add
3 tsp vanilla extract
Finally blend in
1 cup whipping cream
Pour over the prepared base and bake in a bain marie at 300 degrees F for 55 minutes to an hour. The cheesecake does not have to brown at all in order to be fully baked; the surface of the cheesecake should lose any shine when the cake is properly baked. It can still be slightly wobbly just at the center at this point.
Remove the cake from the oven and run a sharp knife completely around the edge of the pan. This will allow for the cheesecake to shrink as it cools and hopefully not crack (but who cares if it does? I am never bothered by a crack or two in the surface) Allow the cheesecake to cool thoroughly on a wire rack at room temperature. (NOT in the fridge). Refrigerate after fully cooled.
1/3 cup plus one rounded tablespoon of flour
2 tablespoon cocoa powder
1/4 cup butter
2 1/2 squares unsweetened chocolate
1/3 cup plus one rounded tablespoon of granulated sugar
2 rounded tbsp light-brown sugar
1 extra large egg
1teaspoon vanilla extract
Sift together flour, cocoa and salt. Melt together butter and unsweetened chocolate over low heat. Remove from heat and cool to lukewarm. Add egg, vanilla and sugars. Stir very well until sugars are almost dissolved.
Gently fold in dry ingredients.
Pour batter into a 8 inch square baking pan that has been greased and lined with parchment paper. Bake for about 15-18 minutes at 325 degrees F or until the surface of the center of the brownies appears dry and firm. Toothpick test will not work for this recipe but it will tell you if the middle is still liquid. Do not over bake these brownies or they will be dry rather than moist and chewy. Cool completely before cutting into 1/2 inch squares.
In a double boiler, melt together 1 ounce whipping cream with 1/2 cup chocolate chips. Drizzle over the brownies and cheesecake.
BTW, the creepy dude up at the top is a Management professor at MSU. The only thing it looks like he's managing is rocking a creeper stache and a serious collection of 1970's vhs pornos.