Here's the deal: your football team has done everything they can to prove they belong in a BCS Bowl game. They've beaten everyone they're supposed to, pretty convincingly I might add, and they're putting up numbers that would make Albert Einstein jealous. Sure you had that one slip-up, but who doesn't drop a game here and there? You're a one-loss SEC team with a shot at the title, what's the problem?
Ahhh, I see. The powers that be aren't giving you the respect you deserve, are they? Looks like you're going to the get short stick again, doesn't it? Well fret not Tiger fans, because I'm here to help. My name is Paul Finebaum, and I can get you into the BCS.
All it takes is one tearfully emotional call to my radio program, and I'll have your team right back in the hunt for the Sugar Bowl. I know a guy who knows a guy that can make things happen, and I'll make sure that those things happen in your favor.
Just look at my previous clients. Alabama, Auburn, LSU, Florida? All of them got into the national championship after fans called into my show begging me to plead their case. Hell, LSU had TWO LOSSES the year they won! You think that kind of malarkey happens without my help? You want to get to Atlanta, I'm your man.
What are you waiting for, Missourians? Call in today, and have your prayers answered.
Unless your prayers involve beating Alabama, that is.