1. Maxy Max Max Max Max Maxy Max
I cannot tell you how much I was hoping somebody would throw this together. That somebody was David Morrison ... as if we didn't like him enough already. It was really, really hard limiting myself to five quotes in the blurb below.
"Dude, we knew this job was dangerous when we took it. You know what I mean? Hell, dude, I could lose my life out here and I'd be damn fine with that. You know what I mean? You can be hailed glorious in front of 80,000 dudes, or you could have an injury out here, go down like a dog and no one could see it. That's reality. But that's what rock 'n' roll is all about. We love living on that fine line between glory and chaos. You know what I mean? Stuff might get heavy. But when it gets heavy, you get metal." -- on his lot in life as an offensive lineman [...]
"Everyone asks, ‘What does each one bring to the line?’ I bring rock ‘n’ roll and heavy metal. Evan" Boehm "brings weird twerk moves and curly hair and light-heartedness. And Connor" McGovern "brings a mustache to the table. That’s what Connor brings to the table." -- on his teammates filling their roles [...]
"Just when I thought I couldn't get a date, this thing happened. No, it does not heal. Everyone likes to give their two cents on how to fix it, too. 'You know what you should do? You should put a Band-Aid on it.' 'Oh, yeah? What is this...Band-Aid?' I guess it's been nine weeks, I might as well keep it for three more. Nothing's working. Super Glue, duct tape. I'm trying all the backwoods methods. I need a medicine man. I need some sort of shaman. I'll check the Yellow Pages for 1-800-COLUMBIASHAMAN. It's an icebreaker, if anything." -- on that scab on his nose [...]
"There are two kinds of people. One group of people who think that 'Ace of Spades' by Motorhead is the greatest song in the world, and people who are wrong." -- dropping knowledge
"I need to stop yelling and barfing so much. At the same time, too. I yell a lot. I don't know if you have noticed. I think my trachea is about ready to fall off at this point." -- on his ever-sore throat [...]
2. 10 days to OSU
Make no mistake: The Tigers were no fluke in 2013. Under coach Gary Pinkel, Missouri has won at least 10 games in four out of the last seven years. Missouri will have a tall order repeating as the SEC East champion, but there’s plenty of talent returning to Columbia for 2014. Maty Mauk is set to replace James Franklin at quarterback, and there’s talent at the skill positions with running back Henry Josey and receiver Dorial Green-Beckham. The biggest concern on offense is the left side of the line and finding replacements for L’Damian Washington and Marcus Lucas at receiver. The defense – a key reason for the turnaround in 2013 – must replace end Michael Sam, linebacker Andrew Wilson and cornerback E.J. Gaines. Missouri’s SEC slate isn’t easy, as road trips to Florida, Texas A&M and South Carolina are ahead in 2014.