I need to get this off my chest to my internet friends or enemies, who knows, but since I can't tell anyone else at the moment, here it goes. I will try to make it grammatically correct as possible in case Kristina decides to read it and JST doesn't edit it :)
Mrs. FBR told me Wednesday night she was leaving me. I haven't ate slept or drank hardly anything. If it didn't suck so much, it would be a hell of a diet plan. Pretty sure we won't reconcile but we just bought a new house and are pretty screwed on everything.
She wants to finish the softball season out and still is begging to be apart of my life. (you know like how everyone says that until few months goes by and then, you really don't) I just want her to be happy. We have been pretty rocky with the stress of a new place, the new house and just life in general but I didn't think "THIS" bad. I new she was talking to someone and I have never been the jealous type but I never figured it was another guy. I know she didn't cheat on me because I can read her like a book but she said she felt happy talking to him.
Part of me wants to put the screws to her and kick her out and take both vehicles that are registered in my name and then tell the school so she won't be able to keep working with the softball girls and drag her name through the mud. But while I like to think about it, I would never do it. I really do love her more than anything.
I am just not sure how I can stay in the same house with her the next few months and pretend. Its just not me. She is trying to find a way to get to New Mexico to talk to my mom for some reason. I think she feels like she needs her approval or something. They adore each other.
Anyway, I talked to a counselor, which is a really friggin awkward experience and he said I needed to confide in someone and get it off my chest. So here it is. It is off my chest. If it doesn't help, I am going to go kick the therapists ass....
At least I will get rid of the goddamned cat but she owns two of my beagles and I took them for a long walk and had a good cry while they couldn't have given two shits about it. Stupid dogs being stupid and eating poop.
I am hoping writing about it will allow me to finally eat something or at least not have that ever naggin pit in your stomach that won't let you do anything. At least teaching can still make me lose focus on it for about 40 minute blocks and that is a start.
You can comment or not comment on this post, I just needed to put it out there.
Thanks for listening Rmn.