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Rock M Roundtable!

1 - Illinois Week!  On a scale of 1-10, where's your Anxiety Factor right now?  And yes, Doug, I realize you're at 0.

2 - Alright, give me an MU-UI prediction.  And don't just look at what you predicted three months ago.  Fresh new thoughts!

3 - What's the X-factor for UI-MU?  Is it really as simple as "MU's OL vs UI's DL"?

4 - Pick the other Big 12 games (and give me a pointspread):

Wake Forest at Baylor
Western Michigan at Nebraska
Colorado vs Colorado State
Oklahoma State at Washington State
Florida Atlantic at Texas
Arkansas State at Texas A&M
Florida International at Kansas
North Texas at Kansas State
South Dakota State at Iowa State
Eastern Washington at Texas Tech
Chattanooga at Oklahoma

5 - Finally...since it's been the topic of the week at RMN...who's your favorite Food Network star?  Least favorite?  We only talk about the big topics here at Rock M Nation...

The Beef: 1 - My anxiety factor is pretty low. In previous years, it would probably be considered too low, but (and I am stealing a line from Otto Bolden and Rowdy Gaines here), I’ve been running all the scenarios through in my head all week, and I just do not see many viable ways we lose this game. Sure, injuries and turnovers could always show up, but I like the matchups our defense has on their offense, especially given the fact we returned about 10.33 starters of 11 and they have more of the schemes installed than ever. On offense, I take a good deal of solace in what Mike Dearmond accurately (at least to me) pointed out this past week somewhere that the offensive line does not HAVE to be great…they were not great last year. The scheme of the offense does not demand greatness, just goodness. Chase survived last year to throw 3 TD’s and 350 yards. Yeah, he got knocked around a bit, but the turnovers late in the game by us let them back in and I don’t think that is something we repeat (and yes, I realize their turnovers in part allowed us to stretch out the lead). All in all, my anxiety is probably about a 3, and I think 1.5 of that deals with the tailgate and how to get all our crap down there.

2 - I have no idea what I said three months ago, but I am going to say the game finishes 34-17 and I am going to say I am not sure it is that close. I think our offense is prepared to start clicking pretty quick out of the gate and want to make a statement.

3 - I think the X factor is avoiding turnovers.

4 - Wake by 14
Nebraska by 35….NU fans believe all is well
CU by 7-10…I think this is closer than it should be even though I know CSU is pretty terrible
Okie State by 41 because they are MEN!!!
Texas by Alaska
aTm by 14…and only late
kansas by Texas
kSU by 28
Iowa State by 21
Texas Tech by California
OU by Africa

5 - I jumped in late on the thread, and I brought Paula Dean’s fried butter covered by butter sauce to the table. I probably need to stick up a bit for Rachel Ray, only because the Tailgate Queen owns a number of her cookbooks and we have actually found a good number of pretty nice (and relatively easy) dinner recipes in them. Cannot say I really watch much of it. Of course, old school Iron Chef still rocks…remember many nights drinking every time he said "F*ckyouson"…or whatever it was.

Michael Atchison: 1 - I’ll say 2. It’s a losable game for sure, but football is fun. I’m not willing to burn energy being anxious beforehand. Now, if it’s tied with four minutes to play, that number goes to 10.

2 - I feel good about this team, especially the defense. I wonder whether the offense might take a couple of quarters to get going, but do I really need to worry about a unit with Chase Daniel, Chase Coffman and Jeremy Maclin? Tigers 34, Illini 16.

3 - Mizzou’s linebackers vs. Juice. Spy, contain, destroy.

4 - Wake by 12.
Corn by 16.
Buffs by one-one hundredth of a second.
Pokes by four.
Horns by three minutes left in the first quarter.
Ags by 24.
Jays by tap-out due to a rear naked choke.
K-State by default.
Cyclones by the silo.
Raiders by air.
Sooners by a mile.

5 - Giada DeLaurentis tops the list, but this newbie Aida Mollenkamp is making a push. I also have a soft spot for Bobby Flay (has anyone else made his grilled sweet potato salad with scallions, honey and balsamic vinegar? That stuff is crazy good). Least favorite: Michael Chiarello. He is to television what fingernails are to chalkboards.

The Beef: I love to look at Giada Laurinitis (or is that the Ohio State LB?)….but I cannot stand how she pronounces Italian words.

And kudos on the very hip "rear naked choke" reference below.

Michael Atchison: Giada’s Italian does for me what Otto’s did for Jamie Lee:

Doug: 1 - I wouldn't say "0". I mean, I need beer this weekend, and then I leave for Vegas on Sunday. But, if you just mean anxious about Illinois... then, yeah, it's a zero.

2 - So I can't use: "One team will win and the other will lose" prediction? Ah, well. I actually think this one could be close going into the 4th quarter, but I have a feeling Missouri will win by at least 10.

5 - Wake Forest at Baylor - Deacons by at least two touchdowns Western Michigan at Nebraska - Huskers start the Bo era with a 17-point win

Colorado vs Colorado State - Buffs by a healthy margin

Oklahoma State at Washington State - Does anyone in Seattle care about Wazzu? Still, Cougars by at least a field goal

Florida Atlantic at Texas - Texas by Kansas

Arkansas State at Texas A&M - There's really an Arkansas State?

Florida International at Kansas - Kerry Meier plays the 4th quarter at quarterback

North Texas at Kansas State - JuCos pay dividends! For this week at least

South Dakota State at Iowa State - Seriously, South Dakota State? These are real schools?

Eastern Washington at Texas Tech - Okay, now you're just making up names

Chattanooga at Oklahoma - Bob Stoops actually goes 7 on 11 for the second half, just to make things interesting

5 - Giada... for the low-cut tops and the cooking, in that order. Alton Brown... since he has the most enjoyable show on the network, plus, Iron Chef can suck you in.

Least favorite - Just about any other woman on that network not named Giada.

ZouDave: 1 - Probably a 3 or 4. I'm not overly anxious about the Illini, I'm just anxious about the season starting. It's been way too long since I got to enjoy a Mizzou football win.

2 - I've become more and more convinced, after reading practice reports on PowerMizzou, that we are just simply better than last year in almost every aspect and most specifically on defense. I also think our coaches learned lessons from a year ago after we failed to keep teams as down as we put them, so we won't see quite as much soft defense so early. Given that, I think Mizzou rolls in this game 41-17.

3 - UI's secondary vs MU's new receivers. Maclin, Coffman and Saunders are going to be fine. But what about the plays where we have Jones, Egnew and Jackson in there? Probably won't have all 3 on the field at once but you can't rule that out. UI's secondary isn't great outside of Vontae Davis, but surely they can handle a handful or true frosh players, right?

4 - Wake Forest at Baylor - Wake Forest by 13
Western Michigan at Nebraska - Nebraska by 20
Colorado vs Colorado State - Colorado by 6
Oklahoma State at Washington State - OSU by 9
Florida Atlantic at Texas - Texas by 30+
Arkansas State at Texas A&M - A&M by 14
Florida International at Kansas - kansas by 30+
North Texas at Kansas State - KSU by 20
South Dakota State at Iowa State - ISU by 10
Eastern Washington at Texas Tech - Texas Tech by 641
Chattanooga at Oklahoma - Oklahoma by 3,962

5 - I have never watched a moment of the Food Network, and now that it's become a topic I will openly protest and never watch it unless Jenna Haze hosts a show called "Where's That Fruit?"

rptgwb: Let me try to squeeze in some responses before class. The spreadsheet is going to have to wait.

1. My anxiety is at about a 3 or 4 right now and should top off at no higher than a 5 or 6. I think Illinois is a tough opponent, but very simply, I think Mizzou is a better team. I think it would take a bad game from Missouri for Illinois to win it, and until I see signs that the team is going to come out flat, then I'm going to remain relatively unworried about it.

2. Mizzou 38, Illinois 24. Derrick Washington closes it out with a solid second half.

3. Yes, it really is that simple. Keep Chase off of his ass and Mizzou goes to 1-0.

4. Picks:
WF > Baylor by 20
NU > WMU by 10
CU > CSU by 10
OSU > WSU by 3
UT > FAU by 17
TAMU > ASU by 20
KU > FIU by 30
KSU > NT by 24
ISU > SDS by 20
TTU > EQU by 55
OU > Chatt by 60

5. I'm very much into people who aren't pretentious about food. Despite the hammering he's taken, I'm very much a Guy Fieri fan. After that, Alton Brown and Bobby Flay round out my top 3.

Michael Atchison: Note to self: Refrain from Googling when Dave mentions unfamiliar name.

The Beef: Yeah….she’ll get your disbarred I think…

Doug: Really? "Hide the fruit" didn't tip you off?

ZouDave: She'll make you pound your gavel, though...

Michael Atchison: I figured she was an illusionist.

ZouDave: You can't honestly believe a middle-aged married man didn't know who Jenna Haze was. Seriously.

Michael Atchison: I know The Boy is going to enjoy editing this when he gets out of his meetings six hours from now.

The Beef: Nah…she actually can make things disappear…then reappear…then disappear….then reappear…then…well…you get the picture

ZouDave: sometimes multiple things at once!

Michael Atchison: Clearly you think being middle-aged, married and with children is more exotic than it is. If Ms. Haze wasn’t in High School Musical, I’m not likely to know her.

The Beef: I’d actually see that movie if she was…though I guess one of the women from that movie is a bit scandalous, no?

ZouDave: In other news, I just completed the spreadsheet that Bill sent out [Big 12 week-to-week predictions] and I've created a universe that now has me completely terrified.

Somehow, after looking at each game individually instead of saying "this team should be X record so I'll find their losses", I've got a world created where Missouri wins the north at 11-1 and will face 10-2 Oklahoma for the Big XII Title. Not really out of this world there, but here's where it gets scary. I, for whatever reason, have Texas Tech going 11-1 with their 1 loss being to Oklahoma (OU's other loss is at Washington). So Texas Tech is co-champions of the South, apparently, and are sitting at home on December 6 while Mizzou tries once again to get a shot at the National Title by beating Oklahoma. If Missouri is able to win that game (in this theoretical world) I think they'd probably be playing for the National Title (because I doubt there's 2 undefeated teams). If Missouri loses that game, though, OU gets the automatic bid and guess what...there's another 11-1 team sitting out there that will probably get picked for the BCS At-Large over Missouri. I can just see it coming. They'll be exactly the same as kansas from a year ago, only they start out higher than ku did and will have played a tougher schedule than ku did.

So now I hate myself.

I also apparently have no faith in Texas A&M, as they will be going 4-8 this year. Yikes...I know I'm wrong about that, but I can't find any of their losses I want to change to wins.

The Beef: Was reading some other previews on aTm…I guess the level of talent down there (especially for the system they want to run on offense and where they normally are on defense) is REALLY low…whoever that writer was did not sound like he would be too surprised if they really cratered at this point

Ridiculous Matt: 1. I'm actually at a 4. It's just that we haven't seen either team, in this incarnation. Combine that with the Corso jinx, the SI jinx, and the fact that there's just so much anticipation, and I'm just terrified of starting this season with a loss that derails us from the start. I know we're better than them, I know we'll probably win, but there's some anxiety.

2. 38-20 Mizzou. Our running game actually impresses and everyone in the country flips out because our defense gives up 20 points, or something.

3. I actually think it's our blitz packages. If we rattle Juice, it's OVER.

4. Wake Forest by 13

Nebraska by only 7 and the fanbase goes into utter turmoil

Colorado by 10

OKState by 10

Texas by 80: FA lost their starting center, receiever, and two defensive ends yesterday. Their coach sounded like he was ODing on Dimetap yesterday.

A&M by 13

Kansas by 21

KState by 17

Iowa State by 17

Tech by 38

OU by 30

5. Mario Batali: Looks and cooks like a gangster.

ZouDave: Holy crap...I was certain this was a spoof when I started reading/watching it, but....

the horror.

The Beef: Wow….really? Is Vin Diesel that desperate these days?

Ridiculous Matt: After "Babylon A.D.", he wanted to do an art film.


(three hours later)

Doug: Damn... of all things... who would have thought a "cheezburger" photo would bring the Round Table to a screeching halt?

Ridiculous Matt: Oh, I'm sorry, well here, here's a fascinating look at Iowa State's offense:

Doug: This will probably go down in history as the one time Seth is glad he doesn't have access to YouTube at work.

The Beef: Funny you say that…our filter is down today….and now…so am I

ZouDave: Murder is WAY too easy a punishment for that.


Doug: I was awesome at murder checkers in grade school.

Ridiculous Matt: Reasons I miss Missouri: someone on the local radio station just said we don't have athletes.

ZouDave: Jeremy Maclin isn't an athlete? William Moore isn't an athlete? We have quite a few athletes, actually, but those 2 in particular are freakishly athletic and any team in the country...ANY TEAM IN THE COUNTRY...would have them starting. There are NFL teams with worse players at WR and FS (Kansas City, I'm looking at you).

The Beef: No knock on William Franklin intended…

Ridiculous Matt: Hi. I'm a Chiefs fan.

*Throws self off cliff.

ZouDave: None at all. But Devard Darling?

Besides, even Franklin would probably admit Maclin has a leg up on him. What's the latest with Franklin's injury anyway? I have actually done my level best to avoid being associated with the Chiefs this preseason so I don't even know what they've said.

ZouDave: An artists rendering of being a Chiefs fan:

The Beef: Looks like the dude from Stanford has perfected the Rex Grossman Ball Trick

Ridiculous Matt: Franklin's out four weeks max, had knee surgery.

Why? Because anything else would be good news for this team. Mizzou would beat the Chiefs by 7. I'm not kidding.

ZouDave: So he and MotherRucker will be coming back around the same time, then.

I will go on record to say I think Franklin can be an excellent #2 option at WR for the Chiefs. He's not Dwayne Bowe, but he's good and he's proven he's a helluva team player. But if the Chiefs wanted to draft Jeremy Maclin next year to be our next receiver, I'd gladly welcome Will back to the bench.

Of course, if Maclin gets drafted by the Chiefs I'm going to have to light a candle for him because he will have to wait until he goes free agent in 6 years to play with a QB better than the one he played with in college. Chase Daniel > Brodie Croyle, and it's not close.

Doug: Which one? The guy taking the shot in the nuts... or the guy about to be crushed to death?

Answer: Yes.

ZouDave: yeah, pick your poison. We either suck at offense or can't play defense. And our special teams is a nightmare.

There's one fairly prominent site that has already done a Mock Draft for 2009 (can't remember the URL, but Kiper contributed to the report). This Mock had the Chiefs picking #1 overall. I cannot argue with this.

Ridiculous Matt: Which means Tim Tebow, and me putting my face in a blender.

The Beef: Alright…so to spin further away from center, who would you want to see the Chefs take in that position?

Doug: I'm almost afraid to ask who they were picking.

Michael Atchison: I saw one such mock draft with the Chiefs taking Matthew Stafford number one overall.

ZouDave: I'm certain they would take a QB number 1 overall (unless they could trade down and pick up multiple other 1st round picks again) because if we're the worst record in the NFL this year then there's just NO WAY that Brodie Croyle is going to get another chance.

We're so far away from fielding a good team it makes me want to vomit. A single QB isn't going to help. So, if we could trade down, I'd want that.

Otherwise, if it has to be a QB and it won't be Chase Daniel, I'd MUCH rather have Stafford than Tebow.

The Beef: So wait…if we have seen one mock draft with the Chiefs picking first (and a QB no less), can we thus draw from the other mock draft they will pick local boy Josh Freeman?



ZouDave: I will kill you, Beef. I will kill you for simply bringing that up.

Now I really need to vomit.

The Beef: Figured we should go out on a violent note


Ridiculous Matt: Much like Oklahoma State, or a Robert Rodriguez Film.

rptgwb: With the first selection of the 2009 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select...

Josh Freeman.

The Boy: Holy crap, this is going to take me freaking hours to pull together tonight.

The Beef: Don’t forget your newsletter story too :-)

And yes…I got here today at 5:45 a.m…..and am still here…


Doug: Thank you! And... Good Night!