Better Know An Opponent: Cornell

This is the first in a (hopefully) six-part series highlighting 10 things you may not know about Mizzou's opponents in the NCAA Tournament. Please keep in mind that while everything below is true, it's meant in jest.

Today's profile: The Cornell Big Red.

1) Cornell is located in Ithaca, New York, a city best known for its vegetarian restaurant Moosewood Restaurant, its Dalai Lama (the North American seat for the 14th one is there, whatever that means), and its being a city in New York not named New York City. It's essentially the Jefferson City of New York, so they've got that going for them.

2) 88% of Cornell's incoming freshman this year ranked in the top 10% of their high school class (as opposed to "nearly one-third of freshmen" for Mizzou). 56% of Cornell's freshman scored 30 or better on their ACT (Mizzou's average is 25.5). 92% of Cornell students graduate within six years (Mizzou graduates 68.9%). In other words...


3) This year, there were 1,594 males and 1,589 females in Cornell's incoming freshman class. So it's a real sausage fest.

4) Cornell University is not to be confused with Cornell College, a liberal arts college in Mount Vernon, Iowa. And Mount Vernon, Iowa is not to be confused with Mount Vernon, the famous Virginia home of George Washington. And George Washington is not to be confused with George Washington Carver, the famous African-American botanist famous for his work with peanuts. And peanuts are not to be confused with peas, nor nuts. Because they're legumes.


5) This is a Cornell cheerleader from 1906.


As a point of comparison, this is a Mizzou cheerleader from 1906.


Note the differences.

6) Cornell has a medical school in Qatar, which is, contrary to popular belief, an actual country. It was the first American medical school opened outside the United States. To me, that can only mean that Cornell hates America and the freedom for which we stand. Also, their medical building looks like an egg. That's just silly.


7) Cornell has approximately eleventy bajillion rivals. They're rivals with everyone. In football, they hate Penn. In hockey, they hate Boston University and Harvard. In polo, which is not actually a sport, they hate Connecticut and Virginia. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You are allowed to have two rivals, max. Mizzou? It's Kansas and Illinois. And sometimes Nebraska. And Kansas State when Ron Prince is coaching. And Missouri State, just 'cause. Let's just move on.

8) Famous alumni for Cornell include:


Ruth Bader Ginsburg.


Janet Reno.


Ann Coulter.

Bunch of lookers, I tells ya what. It's a shame that Mizzou can only boast Sheryl Crow, Brad Pitt, and that chick Bill O'Reilly felt up.

9) Bill Nye is a Cornell graduate. There is no joke here. Bill Nye rules.


10) Cornell does not have an official mascot. They're known as the "Big Red", but they don't actually have a mascot. They do have a bear, though. His name, appropriately enough for basketball, is "Touchdown." You'll probably see him on Friday. He'll look like this.


Tune in (hopefully) Saturday for another edition of "Better Know An Opponent"!

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