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Rock M Roundtable!

1 - Spring practice is drawing to a close...I think I've already asked about exciting/disappointing things and players about 16 times, so instead I'll just ask...from the moment you started paying attention, what all-time spring football memory jumps out the most?  Any?

2 - With all the gushing reports coming out of practice over the last week, what do you see as Blaine Gabbert's ceiling now, and what is Mizzou's ceiling under Gabbert?

3 - Tim Griffin's list of
the Big 12's Top 40 players has been, um, interesting so far.  Assuming no big surprises, give me your prediction for #1-5.

4 - Assuming Sherron Collins and Cole Aldrich hold up their end of the bargain and do return to Kansas next year, and assuming for the record that Damion James (to Texas) and Willie Warren (to Oklahoma) return as do you expect the Big 12 preseason basketball rankings (or at least the top 6 or so) to go?

5 - Finally, on a scale of 1-10, rate
rptgwb's performance on KFRU's The Closers yesterday.  If you didn't hear it, just give it a 10.

The Beef: 1 - Yeah…none…and I have probably been to 10-12 of these things over the years.  To be honest, as each year comes and goes, I find that I am less interested in the actual game itself and more interested in just reading about practices.

2 - Wow…you are really stretched for questions I guess.  I have no way to tell what his ceiling is based off of 2 practices, and I will be pretty incredulous about anyone else who does.

3 - Bradford, McCoy, three other people.  If you say his choices have been interesting (and I don’t read really anything that Tim Griffin writes) then I will say Spoon is not included, just so there is a follow-up question at some point about it.

4 - kU, OU, and yeah…I really don’t know from there.

5 - Sounded like a 8.  He loses points for the homer choice of the Mavs announcer for the Slam of the Day thing.

Doug: 1 - Uh... I guess I should have paid attention, huh? I guess the biggest thing out of KU's spring game was that Kale Pick looked decent running the offense when he was on the field. Obviously, KU is not going to be as spread happy when Reesing graduates, so to judge Pick running that offense is not totally fair. But, he did okay running the second-stringers, so that is reason to be happy.

2 - There were gushing reports? Did we get cleaned up okay? I think Missouri is still looking good for top half of the Big 12 North, now I don't know if that'll be enough to be top half of the Big 12, unless, of course, they win the North.

3 - In no particular order, Bradford, McCoy, Reesing and a couple guys on defense.

4 - You mean, you're not buying their announcement on Monday night? With both Aldrich and Collins back, KU is the odds-on-favorite and will probably be the unanimous number one pick, the top half, I think, will be rounded out by Texas (with or without James), Kansas State, Texas A&M... and... wow... I really have no idea. If Warren doesn't return, Oklahoma is in a bit of trouble. And, just perusing the conference, I don't see anyone that jumps out at me as top-half contenders... which means pretty much everyone is up for fifth and sixth spots after you pick the top four. Congratulations everyone!

5 - Pi.

Michael Atchison: Is it Wednesday already? Give me a couple of hours, because I don't want to type all of this on a phone. Here's a preview: that radio show was a 10.

Sent from my iPhone

The Boy: I was absolutely stretched for questions.

1 - I guess I remember Kurt Propst breaking his leg back in '98...if only because I had a class with one of the team trainers, and he was going into great detail the next week about watching them slowly tap the resulting metal rod into place.  Otherwise...yeah, not much.  I remember it raining a lot at the B&G Game.  I remember taking my buddy Jeffrey to the driving range before the B&G Game a couple years ago.  That's about it.

2 - Beef took all the fun out of answering this one, so I pass.

3 - Bradford, McCoy, and...THREE TEXAS TECH PLAYERS.  I kid, Tim Griffin, I kid.  But you do love yourself some Texas Tech.  Let's see...I guess technically Reesing might squeeze into the Top 5...Ndamukong Suh is getting a lot of hype right now...Sergio Kindle...any of about four OU defensive ends...Dez Bryant...Jermaine Gresham...though technically I guess he could go with five QBs just for fun, and have 1) Bradford, 2) McCoy, 3) Reesing, 4) Zac Robinson, 5)...HOT TUB GRIFFIN.

4 - I say KU, UT, and after that it's a crapshoot.  OU will be talented but really young, KSU returns quite a bit, Mizzou was young and old at the same time last year, so I don't know how people will judge them, but they should certainly be top 5.  Baylor will be down, I don't know what to think about OSU without Eaton and Terrel Harris or ATM without Josh Carter...Nebraska will be decent...Colorado, Iowa State and Tech will probably still be pretty's a lot more fun answering these questions in stream-of-consciousness form than actually giving real, thought-out answers.


(On a side note, Varsity Blues turns ten--sorry, TEEEE-EN--years old this week.  I'm not sure anything's ever made me feel older than reading that.)

ZouDave: It was topical.  It was erotic.  I give it a 9.7, I've still got wood.  Still!

Doug: And the early leader on today's inappropriate joke is Dave!

Michael Atchison: I think we can retire that trophy.

Sent from my iPhone

ZouDave: First of all, if you don't know that's a quote from Varsity Blues then punch
yourself in the face.

Second, if you're a ku fan then punch yourself in the face.

Third, my inappropriate joke is NOTHING compared to the one that was redacted
last week!

Michael Atchison: I have only the vaguest recollection that something called Varsity Blues exists.

Sent from my iPhone

ZouDave: Well Jenna Haze wasn't in it, so it's not a movie you'd probably look for.

rptgwb: See, my joke was "topical." Maybe a little too much so.

And, Atchison, if by "only the vaguest recollection that something called Varsity Blues exists" you mean "realize I need to watch it 17 times until I have it memorized," then I totally understand what you're saying.

: 1 - Do you mean this year or ever?  This year, nothing jumps out really other than seeing Gabe proclaim in The Chamber this past Friday that [comment redacted for fear of upsetting Gabe's "What's said in the Chamber, stays in the Chamber" rule.  Bad ZD.].  That's incredible.

As for a spring football memory that jumps out the most ever for me, it's #16 Brad Smith.

2 - Do you mean this year or ever?  (I wonder if I can reasonably have that response more today...)  Well, Gabbert was a 5-star player, rated #14 overall player and top passing style QB in his class.  He's big, he's got a huge arm, and he learned from the best QB we've ever had and a guy that knows this offense probably better than our own coaches.  The ceiling is quite high for and with Mr. Gabbert.  For this year, I think we're talking about a team that is capable of winning 10 games (not that we will, but we're capable of that).  Under Gabbert, our ceiling should be as high as it can be.
3 - Damn...I know this is just for this year.  The top 5 should include McCoy, Bradford, Spoon, Bryant and Reesing.  I don't know about the order.
4 - Well kansas is clearly #1 in the Big XII.  They will get plenty of #1 overall votes as well.  Oklahoma is probably #2, Texas #3, we'll say Missouri is #4, KSU is #5 is #6.
5 - Well obviously it was a 10 since I didn't hear even a fraction of a second of it.  But the world wasn't destroyed, so how bad could it have been?

rptgwb: 1. Nothing sticks out about this spring. Maybe that will be rectified at the spring game when Jerrell Jackson puts up 127 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns. One of the best things about the spring game that isn't talked about? The tent sale... Awesome.


2. Bob Bummer already got to this one. Gabbert's ceiling this year is the chance to fight for the title of best QB in the division (only if Reesing has a bad year, otherwise that title stays with The Todd). It's WAY too early to make judgement calls on his career ceiling.


3. I would wager Griffin is going to find a way to work Ndamukong Suh into the Top 5. Here's my guess on how he rounds out the Top 5: 1) Bradford, 2) McCoy, 3) Reesing, 4) Gerald McCoy OR Ndamukong Suh, 5) Robinson. My top five probably puts Spoon at No. 4, and my darkhorse might be Tech's Brandon Carter. Side note: Does he need to add another name to the list now that No. 38 McKinner Dixon may be walking the plank for Pirate Leach in Lubbock?


4. Kansas is the No. 1 team in the country, much less the conference. Give me Texas at No. 2, Oklahoma at No. 3, K-State at No. 4, Mizzou at No. 5, and I'm not sure about No. 6 - Okie State?


5. Couple of points I need to make:

-- On the Bambino's Slam, I wanted to make sure to give credit to the guy calling the Phillies game after Kalas' death, but selecting that wouldn't exactly have been a high point to end the show on. Anytime you can get a "GOOOOOOOOOD" voice crack on a call, I'm taking it whether its a homer call or not.

-- +1000 to The Boy and ZouDave for dropping references to Billy Bob and Tweeder. In fact, if I had any Schrute Bucks, I'd throw those in as well.

-- Tip of the hat to The Beef for hustling Brass Bonanza to us so we could work it into the broadcast. A banner moment for RMN.

-- Big ups to SleepyFloyd for giving me the call. It was a great time.

: You know what really grinds my gears? Finally getting a decent start out of Brandon McCarthy only to watch Eddie Guardado give up four runs in the tenth inning...and, after an insane comeback against George Sherrill, Hank Blalock and Nelson Cruz miss walkoff homers by a combined eight feet. Probably time to pay attention to...gulp...the NHL Playoffs. On Versus. Ugh.

1) This has been a realtively ho-hum spring, in my opinion, which is not a bad thing. No major injuries, no major disappointments, no major surprises. That's not a bad thing when you consider that you're replacing 66.5% of your receiving yards from 2008. And yes, I looked at the stats and calculated that.

Speaking of which, fun fact: did you know that Mizzou's leading tackler last season was apparently Justin Garrett? In fact, Sean Weatherspoon didn't even have a single tackle. It's all right here on Yahoo!'s dynamite Mizzou stats page! Who knew?!?

2) I choose to pass on this question because A) I haven't seen him but for his garbage time minutes last season, B) The Beef has already Bob Bummer'd this question, and C) BIG AMERICAN PARTY!!!

God, I love that show. All six episodes of it.

3) Bradford's definitely No. 1, and McCoy's definitely No. 2. From there, it will probably be Dez Bryant at 3, LongFirstName Suh at 4, and either Zac Robinson or Hot Tub Griffin at 5. Weatherspoon SHOULD be in it, but won't. But the biggest snub will be Kendial Lawrence.

4) Kansas, then Texas, then a group of about four pretty good teams (Mizzou, K-State, OU and...OK State? Baylor?), then everyone else.

5) rpt did OK, but there was a big lack of Oriental children, not respecting one another and Wii remote control motions. I give it a 7.5.

The Boy: Alright, Jenna Haze...check.  Inappropriate joke...check.  Redacted content...check.  Bob Bummer...check.  YouTube clip...check.  Looks like all we're missing is a ZouDave's Sister reference, and I can go ahead and post this thing!  Efficiently done, guys!

rptgwb: Important question of the day: Is ZouDave's sister too hot for the Hot Tub?

/mindblowing thought

ZouDave: ZouDave's sister arrives in KC tomorrow.  Should she make a special appearance at anything?

ghtd36: Oh sweet God yes.

rptgwb: Not unless she wants to prerecord a speech to speak on behalf of her meme before its upcoming matchup with Hustle and Flow.

The Beef: So many different directions to go with this question…….

ZouDave: I just coined the phrase "haze of malaise".  And I wasn't even talking about Jenna.

Michael Atchison: At this point, I’m not sure anyone cares anymore, but here goes . . .

1 - Let me be the heretic here and confess that spring football doesn’t do much for me.  Other than occasionally attending the spring game, I don’t see any of it, so any judgments I make are purely second-hand, based on someone else’s report.  I suppose the punting battles fire me up the most.

2 - Gabbert’s ceiling is closely tied to the ceilings of his offensive line and receivers.  It looks like the O-line should be awfully good throughout his time at Mizzou, but I don’t know about the receivers yet.  Seems like he’ll have a serviceable group to throw to, but it doesn’t yet appear that he has anything close to the embarrassment of riches that Chase Daniel enjoyed.  I would imagine that this coming year will be up and down, but I would expect that by his junior year, we’ll see a really, really fine collegiate quarterback.  I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t make at least one start in the Big 12 championship game.

3 -

  1. Sam Bradford
  2. Colt McCoy
  3. (crickets chirping)
  4. Todd Reesing
  5. Texas Tech’s next Stepford quarterback

4 - Kansas is number one by a mile.  They’re going to be great.  After that, it’s a real jumble.  Texas will have talent, but a lot of inexperienced talent, and I wonder about their guard play.  Oklahoma will have a solid backcourt, but I wonder about their post play (though Keith Gallon could remedy that).  Missouri’s guards will be excellent; we’ll see which and how many big men the Tigers have on campus (that will go a long way toward determining their fortunes).  Kansas State will have a lot of nice pieces, and it seems that they sort of figured things out as this past season progressed.  A&M will have nice pieces plus experience.  Could be a surprise.  And I just don’t know what the post-Eaton era at Oklahoma State looks like.  Your top six comes from those seven.

The Boy: Via Simmons' column today, I could help but pass this along...either this is the worst movie ever or the best fake trailer ever...supposedly it's the former...I just can't see how this is real...

ghtd36: It's funny, I was just reading his column when you wrote this. I mean...that's got to be one of the four worst movies ever made, right? It's got to be up there with the Underground Comedy Movie. You know, the one directed BY VINCE THE SHAMWOW GUY!!!

God bless this great country, and the pirate-sniping Navy SEALs that protect it.

Michael Atchison: That rivals the Observe and Report trailer for making me never want to see the film.

ZouDave: That is Van Halen "Pretty Woman" bad

Michael Atchison: What you guys are too young to remember is that this is what MTV used to be like 24 hours a day . . . . and it was awesome.

ZouDave: woohoo!  Taking a 1/2 day to head out to The K to watch the Royals sweep the Indians.
And for whatever reason, that reminds me of a "joke" or "chant" or "saying" or whatever this is that my dad told me about from his fraternity days at SMSU (now Missouri State, for those not paying attention.  [Ed. Note: still SMS])
Apparently, it was a tradition to say this every time they tapped a keg:
Keg Tapper:  Who's going to carry the mail to Red Rock?
Crowd:  I'll carry the mail to Red Rock!
Keg Tapper:  But what about the Indians?
Crowd:  Fuck the Indians!
Keg Tapper:  You'd fuck an Indian?
Crowd:  I'd fuck a chicken!
Keg Tapper:  You fowl fuckers.
That's a helluva note for me to go out on.