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Rock M Roundtable!

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The last two weeks, we've gone quantity over quality, and all we got to show for it was two losses and a ridiculous Kansas win over Colorado.  Time to bring the thunder!!  And no, no Mizzou football questions because ... well, because.

1 - Name something less likely than Kansas' 35-point, fourth-quarter explosion on Saturday.

2 - Who will CU most likely hire for their head coaching position? And who (realistically) SHOULD they hire?

3 - Since I'm still thinking about last night's 30-for-30 on Marcus Dupree (perhaps the biggest no-brainer, slam dunk topic in the history of sports documentaries ... okay, one of the biggest...), let's go with this: if you were a filmmaker and asked to be a part of the 30-for-30 series, what would have been your No. 1 topic?

4 - Conan premiered Monday night.  Did you watch it and what’s the difference if you’re on cable or network,
doesn’t everyone have both now?

The Beef: #1 – My daughter matriculating at the University of kansas

#2 – Boy I think CU is all sorts of screwed from a money standpoint, so I think their list is not nearly as long as most people might think.  The idea of "Buffalo" Bill coming back is indeed intriguing, but I will say the person they will hire and the person they SHOULD hire are the same person, since I don’t want to hedge my bets here.  I will say CU goes after Troy Calhoun from Air Force.  Air Force just won the CiC Trophy for the first time in 8 years, a marked accomplishment.  Though an Air Force alum, he certainly knows the area and I like the idea (as presented by the Omaha paper I believe) of shaking things up as you move to the Pac 12.

#3 – I don’t know much about Dupree since I did not grow up out there, but I am sure once my DVR picks up last night’s movie, I will watch it.  The series has really covered some remarkable topics which I would have never thought of, but I so enjoyed watching.  I would not have minded a movie about the loss of the World Series in 1994 and all that was lost as the season ended abruptly.  For a very small set of people, something about Cael Sanderson and his perfect all-time record.

#4 – As an employee of a large cable company, I could tell you how wrong you are regarding that statement, but none of you actually care

ZouDave: 1 - Finding out Jenna Haze is Atchison's daughter.

2 - Colorado may be in a tough spot, because they're broke as shit which means they're going to have a hard time affording a good coach.  I have no idea how they're going to afford Hawkins' buy-out.  They tried to shoot the moon on his hire by stealing him from Boise State, and that kind of option isn't going to be there this time around.  Teams like Boise State, TCU and Utah are getting too much good press on their own for those coaches to need to go anywhere without it being a MAJOR program.  Guess what Colorado isn't?  And with CU moving on to the Pac-12 next year, the amount of uncertainty around that program is incredible.  Kinda sorry we're not going to get to benefit from it.

A - I don't know a specific "who" they will hire, but it's going to be a coach with D1 experience that is currently out of a job.  They'll be looking for someone they can afford and someone they can bring in before other schools start making decisions on their coaches.  CU has a head start, so they need to get it done before the regular season ends.

B - Their first phone call should be to Mike Leach.  Their second phone call should be to Mark Mangino.

3 - I missed the 30 for 30 last night, but I've been downloading these from the net and they're just awesome ways to waste some time.  I cannot WAIT for the SMU one here in a couple of weeks.

I'm not sure where I'd go if I were making a 30 for 30.  It needs to be a well-known sports topic, but one that you can bring new information about instead of just telling the story in another way.  So some of the most popular things, like the Miracle on Ice, wouldn't really be on the list.  I'd probably want to do someone on Hank Gathers, but I'm sure that's also been done quite a bit.  I'd want to do something on the 1984 Summer Games and the communist bloc boycott.  Heck, I'd like to see one on the original Dream Team.

4 - I didn't watch it, but apparently 4.2 Million people did.  The difference between the two is still going to mainly be perception.  I think most people are still pretty programmed to look to their "network" channels for late-night stuff like that, where late-night cable is for movies and stuff.

Doug: 1 - A 42-point, 4th quarter explosion by Kansas?

2 - I imagine they'll bring Bill McCartney back. According to the Denver media flacks, he's the only one capable of bringing the Buffaloes back to their former "glory". Granted, he's been out of football longer than Bill Snyder, but that seems to concern no-one. So, it'll either be McCartney or Bill Callahan.
Honestly, they should go to Mitch Mustain and just see what it would take. Yeah, the programs hurting for money, and it'll take somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.5-3 mill a year to get him, especially considering what Turner Gill got. But, moving to a new conference next season, where you look to be the whipping before for every other school, they need to make a splash, and he'll have the pedigree and the Texas recruiting connections to do it.

3 - Barbaro. No, actually, I'd do a retrospective on the first 30 years of ESPN, and not hold anything back. From the start-up, public access feel of those first years, to the anchors dealing with celebrity, the accusations against some of the biggest names, the splits with guys like Olbermann. There's a wealth of stories to mine, and frankly, it's the one that makes the most sense.

4 - First thing I thought: smaller set. Leno and Letterman both have "stages" for their monologues, Conan does his in front of his desk, granted there's a lot of floorspace there, but everything it more compact, side-to-side. Humor wise, despite being on a half-hour earlier than the Tonight Show or Dave, Conan will be able to pull off jokes more closely associated with Late Night. I'm sure Conan would have gotten better money if Fox had been able to convince their affiliates to do an 11pm show, but somehow I think TBS will be a better fit in the long run for him. Especially when you realize that ratings will be of secondary concern, because they'll be able to get a lot of sponsorship money out of this whole thing.

I watched the first two episodes, and the second one really drove home for me that Tom Hanks is, basically, up for anything. And, that he will never appear with Leno, unless under penalty of death.

The Beef: I thought they did one on the LMU team and Hank…the Dream Team would be a fun one and one where I imagine there is a ton of footage kicking around, though that one would run VERY close to the Bird/Magic special HBO just did which was spectacular

ZouDave: did they do a Gathers one?  I remember the Len Bias one, which is similar and yet also completely different.

The Beef: Well, "The Guru of Go" was about Paul Westhead, the coach of LMU, so there was a pretty major treatment of Hank and Bo in there.

ZouDave: ah, haven't watched that one yet.

Bill C.: Mitch Mustain?  The third-string USC quarterback?  Are you talking about his former offensive coordinator, Gus Malzahn?

Doug: Well, he's got to know some schools in California, right?

I meant Will Muschamp. Jeez, that's a major screw up.

Michael Atchison: 1. Ross checking in before 11 am.

2. The talk is about Bill McCartney, which seems like a disastrous idea to me.  They ought to hire a guy who knows the west coast.  I don’t know which guy is the guy, but here are two options:  Pat Hill (Fresno State) and Brady Hoke (San Diego State).  But the guy they should really look at is Mark Helfrich, the offensive coordinator at Oregon, who was previously the offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach at . . . Colorado.  He also worked for Dirk Koetter at Arizona State and Boise State.  That would be a splashy hire.

3. I’m going to confess that I haven’t seen even one of the 30 for 30 films, but the first thing that comes to mind is a new angle on the 1972 summer Olympics.  The world was unraveling on live TV.  But you’d have to tell the story in a completely different way than it has been told before, because it has been told so many times.

4.  I did not watch Conan, but I love him (I caught his live show this summer).  Honestly, it slipped my mind (which is amazing since I saw him tweet about it relentlessly).  I was a radio/TV major back in the day, and if you really want my thoughts about the present and future of cable vs. broadcast TV, you’re going to have to give me a few weeks to put it all on paper.

The Beef: Sadly, 1972 falls outside the 30-year window ESPN used for the 30 films for 30 years

ZouDave: I think one on Herschel Walker, done from a similar scope as the one on Ricky Williams, would be interesting.  Herschel Walker is a fascinating guy, and according to the book "Boys Will Be Boys" was a complete "multiple personality" guy that would do things and have no memory of them.  They said he would often sleep 1-2 hours per day, and like never more then 4, only ate one meal per day.  He'd be a lot of fun to learn more about.

RPT: 1. Atch being funny.

2. I have no clue who'll actually end up there, but I'm fully on board with the Calhoun hire. I have no clue how the guy can recruit (since recruiting to USAFA is obviously a different animal), but the guy can certainly coach. I'll also second Atch's recommendation of Helfrich, though an explosive offense might not be Colorado's style.

3. Can we just play the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in its entirety?

4. The show is still pretty solid, but they never fixed the root of the problem. I'm a perfect example of Conan's target demographic, and the timing of his show puts him in direct competition with The Daily Show and Colbert Report with most people with my viewing habits. Conan ran the table in the late night ratings because watching him at that time was a no-brainer. With those two shows on Comedy Central at the same time, it's a nightly decision.


2 - It absolutely blows my mind that they think the McCartney thing will work.  I'm of the opinion that KSU's program will top out around 8-4 with Bill Snyder's second go-round here (better if they upset Mizzou this weekend) ... only, Snyder took over a team that was winning five games per season under R** P****, and he had only been out of the game for three years.  McCartney's last season was 1994, and he might be taking over a team that is coming off of back-to-back 3-win seasons (CU is 3-6 and finishes with ISU, KSU, @NU).  Seems like he would probably top out around 6-6 at best, and ... do you really need a coach to come in and "stabilize" the program at .500?  Aim higher.  I love the idea of Leach, and I think Helfrich would be good too.  Or, you know, Mitch Mustain.  Probably wouldn't be worse than Hawkins...

3 - Honestly, I just want to see more "Day in the life" ones like the June 17, 1994 film.  That was fantastic.  One of my 2-3 favorites.

4 - I did indeed watch Conan on both Monday and Tuesday.  Now that he's back, I can restore my habit of recording it the night before and watching it when I get up at 4:40 ... because I'm apparently now 60 years old.

Actually, nevermind ... 60-year olds don't like Conan, otherwise he'd still be on The Tonight Show.

Michael Atchison: That’s what the 30 stands for?  See, told you I hadn’t been paying attention.

Then lets go back to the beginning, to 1980, and do a story on the Moscow Olympics and what it cost the American athletes who didn’t go.  There must be three or four Americans whose lives would have turned out very differently if they had won gold there (see, e.g., Sugar Ray Leonard – gold in Montreal, 1976 – and Mary Lou Retton – Los Angeles, 1984).

The Beef: Actually got to meet and chat with him for a few minutes a few weeks ago as he came through STL for a MMA-press tour.  He is still HUGE.  Loved that I remembered stuff about getting to see him play for the New Jersey Generals (LOVED the USFL 30-for-30).  Nice guy, but just an absolute freak of nature

Bill C.: How long until we get a documentary about Expansionapalooza?

ZouDave: I think an interesting "day in the life" 30 for 30 would be October 17, 1989.

Michael Atchison: I think Dave Mustaine could also be a good fit at Colorado.

As for Conan going against Stewart/Colbert, the beauty of his deal is that his time slot is almost irrelevant.  He – not TBS – owns the show, and I’m sure he’s going to exploit it in all the best new media ways.  He’s going to play with time-shifting like no one before him.  I’m also willing to bet that a lot of people in the demographic are going to watch him in the 10 pm slot, DVR Stewart/Colbert, and watch them at 11.

Bill C.: Or in my case, DVR both, watch one at 5am and either Stewart or Colbert at lunch.

The Beef: Must be nice to watch TV at lunch…

RPT: Your company doesn't allow you to watch TV? That seems counterintuitive.

The Beef: We have about 10-12 flat screens up in here (though none really viewable from where my desk is and situated), though none with DVR’s or personal controls

ghtd36: 1 - Rational reaction to a Missouri loss from fans. And yes, I'm getting extreme tiredhead from my fellow Mizzou fans.

2 - A- Who will CU hire? A big name that is ultimately underwhelming. Who fits that bill? Gary Patterson ain't leaving TCU. Mike Price would be a very Colorado hire. But for now, I'm putting my money on Lane Kiffin, for exactly no reason.

B- I hear Wade Phillips is available. And so is A CERTAIN CHARISMATIC YOUNG DYNAMO!

3 - Well, it obviously couldn't be done by ESPN, but I'd really like to see an in-depth piece on how ESPN has completely shifted the sports journalism paradigm. ESPN has changed almost everything about how sports are covered, and an in-depth look at all of the changes -- good and bad -- would be sensational.

The reason I bring this up is because of the big sports news that broke around my neck of the woods this week. A local reporter very close to the organization -- so much so that he actually does side work for them -- first Tweeted that Phillips was fired. Adam Schefter then spent the next 45 minutes knocking down the story on Twitter, essentially saying that it's impossible that that's the case. Well, turns out, ESPN had been scooped, and Schefter was simply beaten to the punch. He later actually credited the local reporter, but it just speaks to the "If ESPN doesn't confirm it, it's not true" nature of sports reporting. I'd love to see someone do a documentary on that.

4 - I did watch. He's a lot more like he was on Late Night, which is good for America.

(30 minutes later...)

ZouDave: Greg killed it.  Way to go, Captain Bringdown.

Michael Atchison: And I can’t help revive it.  I’m out for at least a couple of hours.

Don’t screw this up.

ghtd36: So, the spectacular blog Mental Floss brought me the link to the longest pages on Wikipedia, and one of them is the "Line of succession to the British throne."

How do you feel if you're Maria Pia de Jong? You're 10 years old, and you're 1,226th in line for the throne. Is that something you scoreboard your friends on the playground about?

Doug: Well, you've certainly got more going for you than Benedikt Wegener, who just hit 14 and is still 1,790th in line for throne.

Maybe Colorado can give this list a once-over and find a decent coach.

ghtd36: Musberger: "And Colorado is hoping that Countess Desirée Christina of Rosenborg, daughter of Count Valdemar Georg of Rosenborg, is the person to resuscitate this once-proud program."

Herbstreit: "Yeah, she brings a fire that Dan Hawkins was lacking. Plus, she's a countess."

Musberger: "And here come [/starts fake southern accent] the Longhorns..."

(30 minutes later...)

ghtd36: Are you kidding me, Roundtable? ARE YOU KIDDING ME, ROUNDTABLE?

ZouDave: you really think talking about the 1250th person in line to take the English throne is going to do anything for us?  I don't think so.

This roundtable?

ghtd36: Welp, you leave me no choice. I'm going to have to carry this thing.

Here is a list of things that annoy me:

-LeBron James. Everything about him at this point.
-The word "calisthenics."
-Press boxes that don't have wireless Internet.
-Cheese graters. Gotta be a better way.
-Paying for air for my tires. IT'S AIR.
-The "overrated" chant.
-People who think that sabermetrics are lying. IT'S MATH.
-The fact that Jurassic Park just sort of brushes off the notion of dinosaur reproduction when there's only one sex of dinosaur. They say something like "life finds a way." BULLSH. It takes a dude and a chick. THAT'S SCIENCE.
-People who remind me to "never forget 9/11." Oh, OK. Thanks! I was just about to forget about the worst thing to happen on US soil in my lifetime.
-Arcade Fire. Their music is fine, but let's just stop with all of this, OK? They're good. They're not the first good band ever.
-Radio stations that replay the same song twice. I JUST HEARD TAIO CRUZ, AND IT SUCKED THE FIRST TIME.
-People who really think James Franklin would be a better option than Blaine Gabbert right now.
-Glee. No, I've never watched it. Yes, I'm fine with that.
-People who feel it necessary to bludgeon me with their religion or lack thereof.
-Doritos. I used to be in love with Cooler Ranch Doritos, but now the smell really bothers me.
-People who think the word "moist" is gross. Grow up.
-Edgar Renteria.

Bill C.: Responses:

- I'm almost as tired of LeBron haters as I am of LeBron at this point.
- Agreed.
- Some still don't have wireless internet?  Like ... high school press boxes?
- Agreed.
- You're probably paying for use of the machine, not the air. Just saying.
- Agreed with vigor.
- Agreed. Obviously.
- Agr...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
- Agreed.
- People are still obsessing over Arcade Fire?  What is this, 2007?
- You listen to radio stations?
- Agreed ... to the point where I almost hope Gabbert goes pro just so I don't have to listen to this again next season.
- Agreed. The wife enjoyed it for about three episodes last year, then just got exhausted by it.
- Agreed.
- Agreed, though I did enjoy the #futuredoritoflavors Twitter contest a few days ago in response to the egregious "Late-Night Cheeseburger" flavor.
- BF5 were totally awesome at Jesse Auditorium in 1999.  (Or maybe 2000. Don't remember.)
- Huh huh. Moist.
- You mean World Series MVP Edgar Renteria?  Okay, that was mean. I retract that.

Doug: Well... I'm glad we got that out of the way.

ghtd36: Bill, you root for the Pirates.

That'll just about do it for this e-mail.


ghtd36: And per your press box wireless comment, yes, high school press boxes IN TEXAS don't have wireless internet all the time. I KNOW!

ZouDave: heh...I just got this, even though I've already gotten every response.  Our entire network went down about 20 minutes.  The ENTIRE thing.  We even lost our electronic door lock system, which is supposed to fail to the "open" position so the doors don't lock themselves and everyone in/out of things.  Yeah, that didn't happen.

You should have seen the confusion, it was absolutely epic.  Our Senior Network Admin was absolutely panicked because we couldn't get into the server room to start figuring out the problem (cuz, you know, the electronic lock system failed in the lock position).  He sat there scanning his access card over and over and over and over.  Guess what?  It didn't work.  So, since I already had a pretty obvious solution to this problem, I decided to kick him a little while he was down.

"Oh my God, dude, what are we going to do?"
*scans card like 3 more times*
"How are you going to get that door open?"
"So it's locked?"
"Have you tried unlocking it?"
"You mean like use this key right here?"
"Sorry, didn't think of that."
"Good thing the lights weren't off, you'd have hurt yourself."
"Shut up."

It was glorious.

ghtd36: Do you work at Jurassic Park?

ZouDave: lol...halfway right, yes.

ZouDave: and btw, they covered the same-sex breeding in Jurassic Park.  Amphibian DNA had been used to complete the genetic code for their cloning, and they explained certain frogs can change their sex organs from female to male.  So they had inadvertently given a back door (Jenna Haze reference?) to life solving the "all-female" issue.

You don't have to believe it be possible, you just have to understand they didn't brush it off.  They explained it, quite succinctly.

ghtd36: That doesn't explain that raptors can operate doorknobs.

The Beef: So the dude ZouDave works with is NOT a raptor then.

ghtd36: I'm really glad that we've deduced that.


If you are in Columbia and you don't go to this show, we're through.

The Beef: OK…I’ll say it.


Bill C.: Oh lord...brace yourself for 26 YouTube clips...

ghtd36: /offended gasp

The Beef: Youtube’s blocked…so that helps me none

ghtd36: In that case, Wale is a famous comedienne. Really funny.

The Beef: Only funny because I googled Wale…and a rapper comes up…not that I would know who he is either

ghtd36: The Beef: computer-savvy wunderkind.

RPT: UribeAuction will be at the Wale concert whilst yours truly ushers our comrade TB from Bring On The Cats around The District.

Fun fact about Wale: He's about 817 times more qualified to talk sports than the majority of sportscasters in DC. He pulls out legitimate references while the sportscaster's ENTIRE football knowledge is derived from Sandra Bullock movies.

Bill C.: Okay, for your afternoon conversation topic: Ivan Maisel talks about how Texas A&M, Penn State and Florida are getting hot, but in college football, there's no payoff because they can't get into a playoff.  Of all the pro-playoff arguments I've heard, "Texas A&M, Penn State and Florida don't have a chance at the national title" is ... not one that registers with me.  What say you?

The Beef: I can say it really does not register with me either, and I am a Penn State fan.  While I will likely be a part of the group howling at the moon when undefeated TCU and/or Boise don’t get a shot at the title, the concept of getting hot (like teams can do when facing a longer season) does not do it for me.  It might suck, but crush in your bowl game and carry the momentum to the next season.

Bill C.: I enjoy the thought of a 16-team playoff, but the threat of a "2006 St. Louis Cardinals" type of champion doesn't do a lot for me.  I know the "Every game matters in college football" argument has more holes than Sonny Corleone, but while I'm sure I would completely get into a 16-team football playoff, the thought of a 4- or 5-loss champion isn't appealing...

RPT: Maybe if Texas A&M hadn't lost to three schools with inferior talent, it wouldn't have been a problem.

ghtd36: Yeah, let's not forget that Texas A&M got smoked at home by a team that is now looking to be good-not-great.

Bill C.: But that result no longer counts because now they're hot.

"Hot", by the way, means beating one good team (Oklahoma) at home, one decent team (Texas Tech) at home, and one horrendous team (Kansas) on the road.

ghtd36: I mentioned this on Twitter:

There's a girl in my office who doesn't know who Wu-Tang Clan is.

That's totally unacceptable, right?

Michael Atchison: I favor a playoff, but that’s the worst argument for one that I’ve ever seen.  Under my vision of a playoff, those teams aren’t getting in anyway.  Here’s a quote from the story:

"The biggest thing between the NFL and college is the length of the season," [Texas A&M coach Mike] Sherman said.

No, the biggest difference is the number of teams.  The NFL starts with 32 teams and whittles it down to 12 at playoff time.  No one is going to suggest that more than 1/3 of the 120 FBS teams should make the playoff, are they?  You may not need to go undefeated to make the Division I football playoff, but you’re going to need to be really, really good.  I have no idea why the games early in the schedule shouldn’t count just as much as the ones later in the year.

ZouDave: Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuttin' to f*** wit

The Beef: Even I know who they are/that is

Michael Atchison: Now there’s a thought experiment.  Let’s make a list of 10,000 musical artists, rank them in order, and determine at what point it’s acceptable not to know them.  I’m setting the line at between Teenage Fanclub (unacceptable not to know, but just barely) and Digable Planets (acceptable not to know, but just barely).

I think it’s unacceptable not to know who the dB’s are, but that might disqualify a substantial majority of our audience.

The Beef: Teenage Fanclub…well…I am out.  I have at least heard of the Digable Planets, though I could not tell you what they sang

ghtd36: Unacceptable to not know: Men At Work.

Acceptable to not know: Men Without Hats.