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Rock M Roundtable!

1 - Mizzou and Texas face off tonight at Mizzou Arena.  Quick: give me your favorite memory of a Mizzou victory over Texas.  Any sport.

2 - Here's a scenario for you: Missouri goes 3-3 down the stretch of the season, with wins only over Colorado, @Iowa State and @Nebraska.  They are upset by CU/ISU/NU/whoever in the first round of the Big 12 Tournament.  They stand at 9-8 in a good conference, 21-11 overall, with an RPI of probably around #48-53 or so (maybe lower, not sure).  Do they get into the tourney?  Is a winning record in this conference good enough to get the job done this year?

3 - Picks!

Texas at Missouri (tonight)
Oklahoma State at Iowa State (tonight)
Kansas State at Oklahoma (Saturday)
Texas at Texas Tech (Saturday)
Baylor at Oklahoma State (Saturday)
Missouri at Nebraska (Saturday)

4 - Give me your three favorite Winter Olympic events.

Doug: 1 - Uh... remember that one time that MU was a big underdog to Texas in that one sport, but the Tigers won?  That one was pretty good.

2 - I think that record would get MU in anywhere from a 10 to 12 seed.  The Pac 10 is awful this year, I don't see the Big 10 getting a lot of teams, and frankly there's only a handful if mid-majors up for at-large bids.

3 - MU - Texas did take out their aggression on NU, but the Horns don't have the ballhandlers to deal with the Tiger press.

ISU - Cyclones have to win at home, right?

OU - Left-field pick, but I have a feeling.

Texas - Especially if UT loses tonight, it'll be an utter blow-out.

Baylor - I really don't know why.

Missouri - Does Doc Sadler get another year in Lincoln?  I guess it helps that Osbourne doesn't even realize he has a basketball team.

4 - Biathalon - Evil henchman event

Short track speedskating - Roller derby on ice

Just about any other event happening live that those bastards at NBC aren't tape-delaying.  I swear, curling on USA sucked me in for a half hour yesterday.

Bill's list: the majesty of Men's Figure Skating.

Michael Atchison: 1 - Missouri 54, Texas 47, February 27, 1999.  Norm Stewart’s 731st – and last – career victory.

2 - That’s really close.  Doug is right that there’s enough lack of quality teams this year that the Tigers could squeeze in under that scenario.  But it would be close, and they wouldn’t deserve it.

3 - Texas at Missouri (tonight)  Tigers by 3.
Oklahoma State at Iowa State (tonight)  Cowboys by 6.
Kansas State at Oklahoma (Saturday)  I’m with Doug, I think this could be a surprise.  OU by 2.
Texas at Texas Tech (Saturday).  Horns by 10.
Baylor at Oklahoma State (Saturday).  Cowboys by 3.
Missouri at Nebraska (Saturday).  Tigers by 7

4 - Men’s downhill.  My first Winter Olympic memory is Franz Klammer’s insane run down the mountain at Innsbruck in 1976.  The downhill is to the Winter games what the 100 meters is to the Summer.

The Halfpipe.  I just love how the crowd gets into this, and the stage it’s at now is like the early NBA slam dunk contests.  Boundless creativity, not yet stale.

Curling.  The one event that I look at and think "I could do that," even though I know there’s no chance I really could.

ZouDave: 1 - Last year, Zaire Taylor's "Mr. Coffee" coming out party.

2 - In that scenario, I'd be sweating bullets on Selection Sunday.  We'd be a rock solid maybe.  I wouldn't be surprised if we got left out.

3 - Mizzou wins tonight.
OSU rolls tonight.
KSU pushed OU around.
Tech beats Texas as the Horns continue to slide.
OSU upsets Baylor in one of the best B12 games of the year.
Missouri leaves a skidmark where Nebraska used to be.

4 - No.

ghtd36: C'mon, boys! We need a strong-to-quite-strong roundtable today! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Goooooooooooo DUCKS!

1- I'll second He Of The Hot Sister with last year's win over Texas. That's because all my other memories of Mizzou victories over Texas are losses, like Vince Young converting 3rd and 31 at Faurot Field.

2- I, for one, wouldn't put them in. To me, there are two types of bubble teams that deserve a shot at the tournament: teams that, while inconsistent, have a few signature wins, and teams that did well in conference but lack those signature wins. 3-3 down the stretch and a first-round exit in the B12 Tourney would make Mizzou neither of those.

3- Texas at Missouri -- Tigers. In front of a raucous crowd, a team that has become notoriously soft on the road goes soft again.
Oklahoma State at Iowa State -- Okie State
Kansas State at Oklahoma -- Kansas State
Texas at Texas Tech -- Tech
Baylor at Oklahoma State -- Baptists
Missouri at Nebraska -- Los Tigres

4- Love Olympic hockey, with moguls a distant second. For a third, how about a little love for biathlon? I became enthralled with it on Sunday. Admittedly, I'm an amateur biathlon fan, but the sport seems totally unforgiving. Oh, you're tired from skiing five miles? Tough luck, champ, hit those five targets the size of a silver dollar from 55 yards away with your rifle. Miss one? GO SKI THE PENALTY LOOP OF SHAME ON YOUR ALREADY EXHAUSTED LEGS BEFORE YOU GET BACK IN THE RACE, YOU GIANT SACK OF FAIL. Imagine if in basketball, instead of the other team shooting free throws when you fouled someone, you had to run a ladder sprint while your team played a man down during the time it took you to complete the sprint. That's a devastatingly effective way to punish anything less than perfection. I like biathlon.

RPT: 1. The recruiting war for my tuition dollars.

2. Yikes. I'm not ready to commit to that yet. That first round upset seems like it could be pretty damning to me, even if the selection committee isn't weighting the "Last 12" as heavily this year. I would like to think Mizzou would be on solid footing, but given the treatment of the Big 12 in the Mock Selection, I don't know if it's as solid as we hope.

3. Picks:

Texas > Missouri (I'm surprised by how unanimous MU fans think Mizzou will win)

That's right. A full road sweep.

4. Favorite winter Olympic events?

1. Hockey
2. Hockey
3. Hockey
4. Short track speedskating
5. Curling

(An hour later...)

RPT: This Roundtable is quieter than ghtd36's recent front page contributions.

ZouDave: for some reason, I will now say:

ghtd36: Four days ago, I posted a Fanshot about Mizzou adding Arizona State to the football schedule to the front page, which also caused a 40-comment thread about, among other things, hot Arizona State girls.

If that's not the very definition of "pulling your weight", I don't know what is. I BROUGHT YOU A THREAD FULL OF HOT GIRLS.

RPT: And how does that bring us any closer to an RMN-hosted photo of Dave's sister?

By the way, this roundtable needs a little boost. And for that, we trust the opinion of Jimmy Johnson:

ZouDave: ain't happening

ghtd36: I'm not a miracle worker, dude. From what I understand, ZouDave's sister is like the Loch Ness Monster: seen by few, known by many, believed by some, desired by all, occasionally surfacing to make everyone's dreams come true and give its fans a happy ending, when really it would be for the best if she just came forward and took what she had coming, ending the speculation once and for all as to her long-dreamed-about abilities.

There are so many innuendos in the above paragraph that I opt not to choose one for TWSS purposes.

ZouDave: Can't even begin to think of a number large enough for me to be the spokesperson for that kind of product.  It's going to take a number that would make Dr. Evil blush.

RPT: Maybe if you used Extenze you'd be able to come up with something large enough.

I fully look forward to getting RMN hits from Google as the result of inquiries for "extenze," "male enhancement," and "jimmy johnson's woman pleaser."

ghtd36: Oh, there's a game:

Everyone write three random phrases that you would find strange for someone to Google. Then, someone with the power to look at search keywords, check back in a couple weeks and see if we hit on any of them.

For the record, if you're reading this because you Googled one of the below phrases, WELCOME TO OUR TRAP, JACKASS. NOW WE KNOW YOUR DIRTY SECRET GOOGLING ACTIVITY.

My phrases:

Why does Grandma's house smell like whiskey and Jimmy Johnson

Big 10 adds University of Phoenix

Miley Cyrus gets four-minute double-minor for boarding

And yes, commenters, that means you, too.

ZouDave: Jenna Haze is my new administrative assistant.

Catholic dogma supports dog-cat marriage.

Tiki torches shown to cure cancer in lab rats.

RPT: Erin Andrews buys a Snuggie

Winter Olympic athletes caught in scandal while naked

American Idol cancelled

ZouDave: I would buy Erin Andrews a snuggie, or anything else she wanted for that matter.

I'm sure there are at least a couple of Winter Olympic athletes I wouldn't mind seeing scandalously naked.

American Idol may indeed be in its final season, since it has been announced that Simon Cowell is leaving the show after this season.  He's the star of that show, regardless of the contestants, and I think it will die without him.

RPT: I should add, though, that no referral may ever be as great as one we received back in June of 2008.

(An hour later...)

RPT: Speaking of awesome referrals, check out what just came across our Sitemeter.

That's right. Somebody in O'Fallon got to the "Fran Fraschila Drinking Game" by means of a link somewhere on Phil Pressey's Facebook page. Your argument is invalid.

Bill C.: I think I have to retire from Rock M Nation now.  This moment will never be topped.

ghtd36: Dear Phil Pressey-

Hey buddy. It's your pals at Rock M Nation. How are things at ESD? Saw you guys won another state title, with you dropping 32 of your team's 74 points to go along with nine assists, eight rebounds and three steals. Salty.

Anyways, wanted to let you know how things work around here, since we're going to be friends and all. Here are the three things you absolutely need to remember during your time at Mizzou (which, by the way, we are most looking forward to):

1) Whenever you're tired of hearing overreaction from fans, come here. We're pretty reasonable and level-headed. Bill does numbers, which makes him a dork, but it's OK because it will give you a better view of your team than you probably get. Beef does a lot of stuff -- mostly stuff other than the football/basketball variety -- but offers good insight. RPT does everything, but he can generally mix lighthearted commentary with cold hard facts. And ghtd36 does stupid crap and will probably figure out what animal you most resemble. But we -- along with all the commenters -- are harmless. We might not always be nice, but we're always reasonable.

2) Generally, all we ask is that you try your hardest and don't do anything overtly stupid. We don't ask for a whole lot, really; effort goes a long way. We're not always going to be your best friend or biggest fan, but if you bust your hump, we'll always have your back. Trust us on that.

3) If you bring us a national championship, we bring you ZouDave's sister. Plain and simple.

Rock M Nation

PS- If you have any nickname suggestions, just put on your Facebook status that you "have always wanted to be called [INSERT NICKNAME HERE]." We can make that happen.