
1 - Missouri is currently 3-4 and facing two consecutive road games versus two teams that either are ranked (A&M) or were recently (Baylor). They are in many ways measurably better than they were in 2009, when they went 8-5, but their record is almost certainly going to end up worse. At this point, with either five or six games remaining on the schedule, what is your "success/not success" benchmark for 2011?
2 - Let's pretend for a moment that two of the current undefeated teams end up in the BCS championship game. There is plenty of time for utter chaos, but let's limit the race to these teams: Alabama, Boise State, Clemson, Houston, Kansas State, LSU, Oklahoma State and Stanford. Who makes the title game, and who wins it?
3 - Your weekly realignment question, and it has nothing to do with Missouri or the SEC: pretend you're Notre Dame for a moment. The SEC is moving to 14 teams, West Virginia is (probably) moving to the Big 12, the Big East is on the verge of collapse ... what do you do? Stick it out and hope that the Big East remains viable as a non-football conference? Consider joining the Big 12 (for at least non-football sports)? ACC (all or nothing)? Big Ten?
4 - PTI has been on the air for ten years. I want you to give it two ratings: a 1-10 rating based on how much you enjoy the show, and a 1-10 rating based on how much you blame its success for the ever-increasing batch of "I'M GOING TO YELL AT YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO YELL AT ME" shows that currently pollute ESPN (1 being no blame, 10 being "THEY RUINED EVERYTHING").
2 - I like LSU to beat Alabama (not sure why and I cannot even tell you where the game is) and I don’t think anyone else who COULD play for the national title gets there undefeated. I think kSU loses to OU, who also beats OSU. Maybe Stanford I suppose, but that would be an ugly game. I think chaos will reign this year, as it typically does.
3 - I really don’t understand why a conference takes a school for all but football, but it made the most sense in the Big East because of the basketball-only schools which are in there. If I am any other conference (B12, ACC), I take them all or nothing. If I am ND, I think the Big East falls apart and I probably just go back to being independent in all sports.
4 - 9 and 9. The format was SO amazingly unique that everyone has copied it, so the proliferation of yelling can certainly be tracked back. As for the hosts, I am a huge fan of Kornheiser, where I recognize a lot of people in this neck of the country are not. I do believe I can relate to Tony on a number of levels others may not be able to, so I have always enjoyed him, but he is still far better on the radio
Doug: 1 - Oh, I think KU has no chance of making any real "benchmark" of success this season. The only thing Turner Gill has to shoot for is winning in Arrowhead. If he can't even do that, I don't think he'll be around next season. I know Kansas is a very young team, over half the roster is made up of freshman and sophomores, but to see a team so unbelievably unprepared each game is stunning.
2 - If the LSU-Alabama game in two weeks is awesome, then I could see a lot of people wanting to see them play again in New Orleans. But, I think Oklahoma still has a good chance, especially since they can still win out against two of the other currently undefeated teams. Even if Boise State winds up undefeated I just don't think people care as much about them this season as in past years.
3 - Any conference that adds Notre Dame needs to add the Irish,all or nothing. The only reason you want to add Notre Dame is for the football program prestige and national profile. If the Big East had picked up the Irish football program, I don't think the conference is falling apart. That said, I think only the Big 12 would be willing/stupid enough to take Notre Dame without football.
4 - A 9 and a 3. What makes PTI magical, as Mr. Tony has talked about many, many times, is the relationship between Tony and WIlbon. Even with the yelling, it never seems contrived unlike every other similar show on ESPN. The other factor you left out is PTI is a 10 for the graphic look of every show on ESPN now. The Oracle of Delphi came up with the list of stories on the side of the screen, and now every show on ESPN from Sportscenter to the absolutely awful Sportsnation uses that look.
Bill C.: 1. My top goal doesn't have a win total attached to it: it is simply "Keep me really optimistic about next year." If the underclassmen keep showing serious flashes, if James Franklin continues to grow (albeit in "two steps forward, one back" fashion that is deemed completely unacceptable by fans even though Chase Daniel did exactly the same thing), and if the team's chemistry doesn't fall apart, then I'll be talking myself into good things happening in the future. That said, it will be much more difficult to do that if Mizzou doesn't make a bowl. 6-6 however you can get it, boys.
(And what's scary is, the most likely path to six wins includes home wins over Texas and Tech and Kansas. In other words, it includes losses over the next two weeks, then a three-game winning streak. If Mizzou does indeed fall to 3-6, I might recommend shutting Rock M down for a week. Won't be pretty.)
And by the way, Doug, KU's problem to me doesn't seem like they're "unprepared" -- they tend to do relatively well (on offense, at least) at first, then fade dramatically as the game goes on. That tells me their gameplan might not be that bad, but their talent/athleticism/conditioning are completely wretched. Not saying it's better or worse than what you described, just different.
2. Bama-LSU's in Tuscaloosa, so I'm going with Bama in that one. (I'm also going with them because I think they're the better team.) After that ... man, one of these years I just want to see Boise State get a shot. This is certainly not the best year for that to happen -- pretty sure both Bama and LSU are better than Auburn was last year or Bama was in 2009 -- but I want to see it. I agree, though, that Stanford is probably the most likely No. 2 choice from that list, however. All I ask is that we don't end up with a damn Bama-LSU rematch.
3. I agree with what somebody in the Links post said this morning: if I'm a voting member of the Big 12, voting to bring in Notre Dame as a non-football member would make me all sorts of paranoid since they would basically be establishing the template for Texas' future football independence. Whether that is the reason behind the proposed move or not, that's how it will appear, and that's a scary thought. That said, if I'm Notre Dame, I'm ABSOLUTELY looking at non-football membership in the Big 12 if the ACC will not accept me.
4. I would say 8 & 10. I almost never watch it anymore, but I followed it religiously when it first came on. Living in DC for those first couple of summers helped, of course -- I liked the Kornheiser/Wilbon combo even before PTI came on the air. I really enjoyed it, and even now I know exactly what they will say on a given issue without even having to watch ... but man do I sort of resent them for what they did to sports programming. It's not their fault, obviously, but ESPN responding to PTI's success by saying "Hmm, people love this show! They must love people yelling at each other! I think I just figured out how to program every half-hour block between 9am and 5pm!" was unfortunate. (Of course, it was just a matter of time -- it's not like Crossfire and similar shows weren't popular for the same reasons before PTI.) I have no urge to watch any of them, and I just don't understand people who do.
The Beef: Oklahoma lost early enough where I can see them overtopping Stanford late in the season with a win over a still unbeaten OSU, provided they get some other help along the way.
Michael Atchison: I skipped right over Stanford in reading the question. Clemson is out. Bama or LSU beats Stanford.
And BEEF, I don’t think independence is much of an option in any sport other than football for Notre Dame. Scheduling and access to NCAA championships becomes a nightmare. I understand why the Big 12 would want to do it. It gives Notre Dame a natural place to land if they’re forced into a football conference. But I also understand the paranoia. Everything makes people around the Big 12 paranoid. This should be no exception.
The Beef: Well but if I am a conference, that is the line I take with ND. It is all or nothing. ND found the one relationship in 100 years that could actually work for them in joining a conference that started as a non-football conference. But if that is going away, I don’t take ND in everything EXCEPT the sport which will which drives everything else. I just have no belief that ND will ever join a conference in football because I don’t believe they will ever have a reason they will need to.
I guess I meant to say that if I was other conferences, I would make independence a possibility for ND in all other sports.
Doug: I think at some point Notre Dame will be in a position where, monetarily, it'll make sense for them to join a conference in a football. And, I also think, we're quickly approaching that point. There's a ton of cash being tossed at conferences right now, and soon the haul will be enough to meet and exceed the reported $15 million a year Notre Dame is getting from NBC. Right now the NBC contract goes through the 2015 season. There is a way to make it work, so you slowly bring Notre Dame into the fold of the conference schedule gradually, so once that contract is up, the school is a total member. Let them play out the string, but if by 2014, the Irish are signing a new multi-year deal with NBC, somebody in the conference offices screwed up.
The Beef: I can see NBC/Comcast throwing an absolute boat-load of money at Notre Dame so they can stay relevant in sports programming.
Doug: What about an absolute boatload of money at the conference Notre Dame is in? You'll need programming for not just NBC, but also for the NBC Sports network, and what better way to build interest than to be able to pick up Notre Dame, Oklahoma and Texas games across a family of networks.
Yes, Notre Dame's bargaining and earnings power is pretty good. But, with a conference, it can be a hell of a lot better.
The Beef: We can agree to disagree on this, but I don’t think ND will be swayed by "extra" money to move their football into a conference for the first time. I think they will get what they want/need for it, and the fact that their brand is as valuable as it is will overcome any potential loss they may think they have experienced by not joining a conference in football.
SleepyFloyd7: 1 - Man, I think this team needs to win one of the next 2 games. If they end up losing 4 in a row (KSU, OSU, A&M, BU) there is a danger that the ball might keep rolling down hill. They HAVE to win 6 games. A 6-6 season is a huge disappointment, but a chance to win a bowl game is what every team in transition needs to improve moving forward.
2 - I'll take OSU and Alabama. Cowboys have what it takes to win every game left on their B12 schedule. Can they avoid the letdown game? And I think Bama beats the Bayou Bengals, wins SEC CG and beats the Pokes.
3 - I just don't get Notre Dame. I think they know that if they become "just another conference member," their national cache will erode pretty dramatically. They will stay independent in football at all costs.
4 - PTI is on at the same time as a certain radio show, and I therefore refuse to acknowledge the show's entertainment factor or cultural impact.
Good Night, Canada.
Bill C.: (Not that this is much better, but it would be three losses in a row. Iowa State is offended that you forgot all about them.)
ghtd36: Are The Doors overrated? I can't decide if they're overrated.
1 - I think success would be a bowl. Let's not go overboard and expect this team -- which, to remind those Missouri fans calling for Pinkel's head, is without its senior left tackle and is starting a sophomore at quarterback -- to knock off A&M in College Station or contain The Robert Griffin Experience. Just being bowl eligible would prove that this program has staying power, and while it wouldn't please the ever-growing torch and pitchfork contingent of the Mizzou fanbase, it'd be a reasonable success considering the circumstances.
2 - I think the easy choice would be the Alabama/LSU winner vs. Oklahoma State, but I'd love to see Boise get a shot. They're goooooooooood. And I'm also really glad you brought up Houston, a team that I think is still flying under the radar. This offense is humming, and it's not just Case Keenum: he's got super-talented receivers in Tyron Carrier and Patrick Edwards, and they've got two or three really talented running backs that are gashing people. Their schedule sets up where it basically comes down to the last three games -- vs. SMU, @ Tulsa and (presumably) against the East Division champ -- but if they run the table, I think they're deserving of a BCS bowl. Not the national title game, mind you, but definitely a BCS bid.
3 - It's been a long time since we've thought of Notre Dame as in a pickle, but they kind of are. I think they should seriously consider joining some sort of conference, because the days of independents (save the service academies) are waning, I think. And beyond that...I wonder if not being in a conference has actually hurt Notre Dame recruiting-wise. You think back to when Notre Dame was actually relevant -- when they were basically the only nationally recognized college football power, the only team that people said "I'll either stay home, or I'll go there." But the recruiting game, obviously, has changed, with everything going nationwide, and I wonder how much the brand actually resonates with recruits these days. I compare it also to Baylor under Grant Teaff and, to a bit of a lesser extent, John Bridgers; they had such a hook with parents, since every Baptist mom wanted their son to go to a nice Baptist university...I wonder if that's kind of the case now with Notre Dame, where they've lost that hook because of the wide-open recruiting realm we inhabit today.
4 - 2 and 9. When the show first came on, I thought it was a genius idea -- it's the USA Today of sports talk. But just like USA Today, it's an inherently flawed idea: people are going to crave some sort of actual deep analysis, the kind you can't provide when you're trying to beat a bell. And it was the first Crossfire-ish show on ESPN, which has now brought us the wonders of Colin Effing Cowherd on television every day and Skip Effing Bayless on television every day and Dan Effing LeBetard on television every day.
Bill C.: Until you turn 17, The Doors are underrated. Then, they are horribly overrated.
ghtd36: That's kind of what I feel, too. I heard "Light My Fire" this morning on the way into work, and while I can appreciate the uniqueness of the sound -- it really is pretty one-of-a-kind -- I found myself saying, "Wait, remind me what's so great about Jim Morrison?" I think he gets the Dead Guy Bump, that if you die prematurely, you get an automatic 25% genius bump.
(An hour later...)
Bill C.: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
"Just filed to NYT: After being told it was accepted to Big12, WVU in holding pattern. Its "50-50" and "too close to call" with Lville."
So, so, so, so, so dysfunctional.
SleepyFloyd7: Time to hit the shine.
ghtd36: Man, it's almost like unnamed sources aren't accurate!
Doug: My unnamed sources are always accurate.
Granted, they're mostly in my head.
ghtd36: And that, to me, is what drives me most nuts about this.
Journalists will cite unnamed source after unnamed source, and they'll be wrong again and again...and then they'll wonder why we don't trust them. Gabe did that on Twitter the other day, saying something to the extent that "some people aren't going to believe Mizzou-to-the-SEC until halftime of the first conference game."
Well why do you think that is, Gabe?
And for what it's worth, that's not a shot at Gabe; he's been better and more responsible during this whole ordeal than most. But yes, there's a reason why a lot of us are skeptical of reporters on this issue.
Bill C.: Thamel's been pretty responsible through this, too -- if he reported yesterday that WVU was told they would be accepted and is today reporting that WVU was told they were now 50/50, I'm pretty sure I believe him. I think it's okay to report/present rumors as just that -- rumors -- as long as they are well-sourced. The problem with most anonymous sources is that we have no idea whether to believe them or not; most of Thamel's leads have been believable.
(That, or I've selectively forgotten the inaccurate ones.)
Michael Atchison: This roundtable encapsulates much of what makes college football the most ridiculous sport there is. We’ve discussed how it’s possible that Stanford goes undefeated and gets passed over for the title game in favor of one-loss Oklahoma, and how Boise goes undefeated and again has little chance to play for a championship. It’s the only sport where you can be perfect – even perfect in a power conference – and have no shot at a championship. We’re told that college football has the best regular season because every week is an elimination game, except, of course, when it’s not, an eventuality to be decided largely by whomever a college coach gets to fill out his USA Today ballot for him. The old bowl system where we didn’t even pretend to sort it all out was better that this. We’ve talked about how a school in Columbia, MO looks likely to end up in the same DIVISION (not just conference) as a school in Columbia, SC, while a school in South Carolina’s backyard winds up in a league with a school in Lubbock, TX. This kind of bizarre geography barely even happens in pro sports (unless, of course, you’re an NFL team in Kansas City or St. Louis). Video game manufacturers put exact replicas of specific players in their games, but they don’t use the players’ names, and then say "oh, no, we’re not using the likeness of any player," all the while profiting off of those very players. Missouri softball is going to play division games in Gainesville, FL, because folks in Austin, TX keep flirting with the idea of playing conference football games in Pullman, WA. Can someone draw me a diagram to show what any of this has to do with college?
Bill C.: I don't disagree with any one thing that you just said, but that isn't going to stop me from posting this:

The Beef: You did not include the Winnipeg Jets playing in the same Southeast Conference as the Florida Panthers?
Michael Atchison: The NHL is exempt from geographic logic.
And Bill, I’ll wear it proudly.
ghtd36: Apropos of nothing: this was a home run.

Michael Atchison: That’s going to anger a chunk of the readership. Does anyone have a gif of Albert’s three moon shots?
ghtd36: The only Cardinals WS gif I could find was this:

By the way, how ubiquitous has the hashtag become in our society? There it is, behind La Russa, and we're just like, "Welp, OK." Two years ago, that would be one of the more confusing dugout wall inscriptions.
(Two hours later...)
ghtd36: OK, let's rev this Roundtable back up:
Cake or pie? Go.
The Beef: Oooh…that is a tough one. I am pretty particular about icing on cake, so often I will default back to pie. However, if it is ice cream cake, winner
Bill C.: Cake every time.
Doug: Communist.
There is only one answer: pie.
There are only two follow-up answers: apple or pumpkin.
The Beef: Of those two, I’d have to go apple…can always eat apple…pumpkin for me can only be consumed between late November and late December
Doug: That's why apple is first on the list. Pumpkin is a seasonal thing.
SleepyFloyd7: Pie.
Coconut Cream Pie

ghtd36: #TeamPie
Bill C.: I will proudly represent #TeamCake all by myself.
SleepyFloyd7: Look, I made buttons!
SleepyFloyd7:

The Beef: FYI…and in one of the more amazing things I have ever heard…they have postponed the Cardinal game for tonight…even though it is not currently raining in STL, and the threat of rain is not above 30% for the remainder of the evening.
Doug: New forecast for Thursday: monsoon.
The Beef: Prediction for Friday: Pain
Doug: That could happen Thursday, too.
ghtd36: Now I have to sit with my stomach in knots for another 24 hours.
D-Sing: Wow. Being sick has taken me out somewhat mentally, and my CrackBerry not sending me emails has taken me out of the roundtable until now. Ugh.
1. My success/not success mark right now is 6-6. Survive and advance to bowl season and hope for a favorable bowl matchup.
2. From that pool, I would say LSU vs. Oklahoma State, with LSU winning. But depending on how things go on Nov. 5, I don't know if I would be surprised to see LSU vs. Alabama.
3. I would say Notre Dame would stick it out until their hand is truly forced. I don't know what the situation is with their Olympic sports and how many would be safe in a basketball only Big East so that might force their hand ultimately. But I think it is stick it out or go all-in with the ACC.
4. 10 and 1. I still watch it every day when I can, but I really only watch it if it is Kornheiser and Wilbon. During the summer when it is a rotating cast of subs, I tend to not watch.
I don't blame PTI for the proliferation of the "yelling" shows; I blame ESPN's lazy management for just trying to copy the model. The key element that makes PTI work that the other shows lack is chemistry. That's the secret to what makes PTI work; this is something that Kornheiser and Wilbon have been doing since they were back at the Washington Post. That relationship can't be manufactured by just having people sit together and start yelling, and I think that that is what makes the clones pale in comparison. PTI is one of the only things I still watch on ESPN (College Gameday for football is the other) that are not live sporting events.
Bonus question: Cake or Pie? Please. I'm a fat kid. Both. All the dessert? ALL. THE. DESSERT.
Michael Atchison: A friend of mine wrote a magazine story about cake vs. pie. I am quoted: "It takes a spectacular cake to compete with a run-of-the-mill pie," wrote Michael from Kansas City.
-- Ed. Note: At this point, I am giving up on maintaining formatting because holy crap, was this a huge batch of e-mails. --
Doug: Truer words were never spoken.
Michael Atchison: I think we should be able to resolve this cake vs. pie situation before then, Greg.
Bill C.: #TEAMCAKE #NEVERBACKDOWN
The Beef: #TEAM PIE #PEOPLEWOULDF*CKUS
ghtd36: #TeamPie is such a clear winner over #TeamCake that it's like Mizzou softball playing, I don't know, a team of Columbia drive time sports talk radio hosts.
D-Sing: At least the cake v. pie debate is preferrable to the Big 12 v. SEC debate.
Michael Atchison: I’d gladly drive to Gainsville, Florida for a good pie.
Bill C.: SOMEBODY FIND A PIE PLACE IN GAINESVILLE. WE HAVE A CHANCE TO BROKER FAN PEACE HERE.
Doug: More like a fan "piece" of pie! Amirite?
The Beef: Here you go…
nothing beats Key Lime pie
D-Sing: There's a Perkins, I'm sure….
ghtd36: Pumpkin pie is superior to key lime pie, though key lime pie is delicious.
Doug: Big ups to Brother Tepper!
#TEAMPUMPKINPIE
The Beef: Pumpkin pie does not expand our media footprint as much as Key Lime Pie
#REHASHINGOLDSH!T
Doug: What media footprint? You just want a bigger slice of pie because someone else at the table has whipped cream on theirs.
#FOODANALOGIES
SleepyFloyd7: I have this fight with my wife ALL of the time.
My contention: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BAD PIE.
There is some kind of alchemy that occurs when you assemble the ingredients for pie that strips all bad qualities away.
If it is bad, it's not pie.
ghtd36: Look, I've already got three quarters of a pumpkin pie that I've liked for a while. I don't want to trade it in for a full key lime pie!
Michael Atchison: You have a recurring fight with your wife over cake vs. pie? Making any progress?
SleepyFloyd7: She contends that there is bad pie. My response - THAT'S NOT PIE!
ghtd36: Best marriage ever.
SleepyFloyd7: Making Progress? Well, we are into our 17th year of "research" in this particular field.
ghtd36: "Bad pie" is an oxymoron.
Doug: Yeah, what exactly is she contending is "bad pie"?
D-Sing: Oh, there is always such a thing as bad pie.
Doug: Immediate motion to remove Bill and Pigskin from the Roundtable on a permanent basis.
(Or, at least until after the holidays.)
The Beef: Seconded
Michael Atchison: Bad pie.
D-Sing: I like cake. I like pie. But to say that there is no such thing as bad pie means that you've been very, very lucky. Soggy crust. Burnt crust. Weeping meringue. Grainy textures. Too sweet. Not sweet enough...trust me, there is such a thing as bad pie. I've been guilty of several of these crimes in my baking career.
ghtd36: All still better than cake.
SleepyFloyd7: "Soggy crust. Burnt crust. Weeping meringue. Grainy textures. Too sweet. Not sweet enough"
THAT'S NOT PIE.
The Beef: Immediate amendment to the motion to not ask for Dave to cook for the Holidays
SleepyFloyd7: Oh, and "Weeping Merengue" is the best Bon Iver album.
Michael Atchison: I think that what we’ve determined is that pie is inherently good. If someone endeavors to make a pie, and the end result is not good, that product is, by definition, not pie.
D-Sing: But if it was intended to be a pie, and it looks like a pie...even if it fails...it is still a pie.
And as far as not asking me to cook pie...that's why I just make pumpkin custard and cream chesse pies during the holidays
The Beef: I see Dave’s relationship with Tepper changing from this moment forward…
Bill C.: If it was intended to be pie, it's pie. #TEAMBADPIE
SleepyFloyd7: I intended to get up and run this morning. Didn't Happen.
ghtd36: If you plant a seed and it doesn't grow, it's not a tree.
Michael Atchison: So you’re saying intent is the definitive characteristic? So if tomorrow, I get up and intend to build a time machine, and if at the end the device moves me neither to the past nor the future, is it your contention that I’ve built a time machine?
D-Sing: Same thing with cake. Overmixed. Undermixed. Too sweet. Too dry. Poor job with frosting (probably the most critical part of most cakes and the part that gets messed up the most IMHO). If it endeavors to be something and fails, it is still said item. You cannot discount the essence of what the object is simply because it's taste does not meet your idealized expectations.
Man...I need to lay off the dayquil apparently.
Bill C.: A really, really shitty time machine, yes.
D-Sing: No because in that scenario you are discussing the creation of something that is a physical impossibility based on our current knowledge of science and how the world works.
Crappy desserts happen in professional and amatuer kitchens every day. Bad pie exists, people. Just like bad cake exists.
I made an apple pie last week. My wife liked it. I didn't. To me, it was bad pie. I messed up the recipe for the filling. It looked gorgeous - probably the best looking pie I made. But it fell flat for me.
The Beef: I am guessing Sleepy says it was not a pie
SleepyFloyd7: If it was an intended to be an Apple Pie and it didn't taste good, then it never became a pie.
Michael Atchison: It may, in fact, have been a tart.
Michael Atchison: Is there any material difference between a really, really shitty time machine and a closet?
On an unrelated note, earlier today I stumbled across Marvin Gaye’s performance of the national anthem at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game. I downloaded an mp3 and plan to listen to it on repeat forever.
SleepyFloyd7: When Marvin was singing that, he was thinking about pie.
The Beef: What was his dad thinking about?
#toosoon?
ghtd36: I am physically distancing from my computer as a sign of my uneasiness with that comment.
Michael Atchison: What if I tried to build an airplane? We know that an airplane is not a physical impossibility. I also know that if I try to build one tomorrow, that motherscratcher isn’t getting off the ground.
Bill C.: Correct. So it's a really, really shitty airplane.
D-Sing: No, it wasn't a tart. It was a standard two crust pie, as opposed to a tart.
If you tried to build an airplane in a day, of course it is not going to fly. But does that mean that it will never fly? Or do you have to make a small adjustment to the angle of the wings to ensure that you have enough lift? Are you using the materials that a plane is built from? Are you trying to make the Airbus A380 or an ultralight?
Bill C.: In other news, we are going to kick the hell out of A&M with a late surge, evidently.
SleepyFloyd7: AND WE COME BACK AROUND TO MIZZOU!
Good night, Everybody!
D-Sing: I just assumed Marvin was thinking about hanging out with this guy:

Bill C.: Good god, I need to hire an intern to paste this thing together at this point...
The Beef: If you never paste it together, was it still a roundtable?
ghtd36: POW.
SleepyFloyd7: You got punched with the logic fist.
Michael Atchison: Readers, please apply for the roundtable-assembling internship by replying "first!" in the comments.
Bill C.: And realize that, once you are intern, you will be forced to go to the library or Hearnes Center for research upon the roundtable's whim.
The Beef: Do not, however, ever go up to the 4th floor…just trust us on this
SleepyFloyd7: Question #1 - How did Mike Anderson get out of Mizzou Arena last spring?
Michael Atchison: I once did research in the Hearnes Center morgue. Well-organized.
Doug: Well, that got out of hand in a hurry.
SleepyFloyd7: I saw Atch kill a guy with a Tarte Tatin

...also, not a pie.
Michael Atchison: I did it just to watch him die.
ZouDave: 113 messages for me to go through? No thanks.
Doug: BOOM, BABY!