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Rock M Roundtable!

1 - We begin with a two-parter! So Mizzou is apparently going to announce plans for a Mizzou Network soon. Ignoring the obvious programming suggestions, a) what do they need to do make this work, and b) what single item of programming (old games, behind-the-scenes access, etc.) would most appeal to you?  (Doug, feel free to, um, offer creative answers here. You were going to anyway, I'm sure.)

2 -
Pay for play: yay or nay?

3 - A little birdie tells us that our very own ghtd36 is now engaged. How did he propose?

4 - Ashton Kutcher is now an adviser to SB Nation. Which That 70s Show castmate should hop on board next? And no, you can't say Mila Kunis. That's too easy an answer.

The Beef: 1 - I would say, for me, the ability to watch live events is going to be the most important since I am at a distance and otherwise not able to.  The chance to watch softball and wrestling would probably be enough to sell me for the most part.  The rest of it still probably exists at a level of digital’ness with which I am probably not going to fully take advantage.

2 - I am starting to come around a bit on the idea that an athlete should be able to profit from their own likeness just like anyone else can if they are able to.  I realize the wrench this would throw into the system, as it further skew players towards the bigger schools, and especially if those bigger schools exist in major media markets to increase the chances of scoring such opportunity.

They could also remove part of the issue entirely and stop providing athletes with nearly as much "equipment" as they are afforded.  Stop giving them rings and gift-bags and make it so that none of the other "equipment" can leave the facility…all the way down to the t-shirts and shorts and what-have-you.  Because what we have is a whole lot of temptation wrapped around a strange oxymoron of amateur status vs. THOUSANDS of dollars worth of potentially extraneous goods.

3 - He said, "Will you marry me?"  The rest is just details…

4 - I guess my question is, can I hop on Mila Kunis?

RPT: 1. What do they need to make it work? A full-time position for an exciting, charismatic young volleyball announcer would be a great start. Behind the scenes stuff would be cool, but classic games and live non-revenue events are top priority in my eyes.

2. Yikes. There is NO simple fix. Anything that would even be remotely fair would require a complete overhaul and forever change the system as we know it. Generally speaking, you can put me in the cynic's camp. I understand the hardship on college athletes. I really do. But I can't get past the fact that some of these athletes (especially the out-of-state ones) are receiving a package that easily exceeds $100,000 in value and probably creeps near $125,000 during their time in Columbia. The "fair" fix would allow the athletes to profit from their likeness, and allow them to appear in commercials and sponsorships. That idea sounds great until a booster from Alabama promises a recruit $750,000 in commercials if he chooses 'Bama.

3. She said yes six parts into his ten-part "Better Know a Fiance." Which is good, considering part eight was him photoshopped over Ron Zook water skiing.

4. Red Foreman, Senior Analyst of Dumbass Studies

ZouDave: 1 – They need to make it available to a multitude of platforms and make it ridiculously affordable (possibly even free and rely on advertising dollars to support it).  It needs to have web-based content for viewing from home computers and it needs to be in App form for Droid phones, iPhones, Droid tablets and iPads.  Hit EVERYONE with it and make it easy to use.  If you limit the customer base at all or require any more skill than just clicking on something to use it then I think people will think "I can live without this" and never really try to use it.

As far as content, you simply have to have games on demand.  It doesn’t have to be the actual TV broadcast version of the game, because obviously that carries rights with it that cost money.  But Mizzou films every one of their games for their own use, and the Missouri Football Highlight Show that I get every week in KC on Metro Sports would be the exact kind of thing this should be used for.  I can watch the entire game, synched to our radio broadcast, in an hour.  You give people the ability to pull that on demand, it’s a huge success.  Then you make more and more sports available like that and you’re really on to something.  Then you give Kat Lucchesi and and the ability to make the behind-the-scenes stuff that they do available on there and you’ve got a network that people will check in with a few times per week.

And then, of course, the crown jewel is they sign ZouDave Videos to a deal.  That’s when you know it’s hit the big time.

2 – Nay.  Forever nay.

3 – In between innings, I’m sure.

4 – I’m saying it anyway:  Mila Kunis.  She can hop on whatever she wants, amiright?  I never watched the show other than ever-so-rarely catching bits and pieces of an episode while channel surfing.  Ashton Kutcher’s character annoyed the crap out of me, that foreign kid’s character annoyed the crap out of me, I didn’t find the parents that funny, so other than starting at Mila Kunis, the hot red-head, and wondering when Topher Grace will start landing better roles (which he was in things like "In Good Company" and "Too Big to Fail") I had no need for that show.

Doug: 1 - Dave's right. Anyone who launches a school-specific network without the backing of ESPN needs to make it as readily available to everyone the moment in launches. Don't roll it out in stages, don't tease people, don't jerk them around, either. Sure, the start-up costs will be greater in that sense, but it'll be easier to recoup your investment if you can build the audience base quickly. Obviously, since it's Missouri, you'll have to have "Eat Your Own" hour, which is nothing but Missouri fans sitting around complaining about current or former athletes and coaches.

2 - I think if players are required to be on campus for mandatory 2-a-days, then adjust scholarship checks accordingly. Like the article says, it is a job, and a scholarship that would help with summer school would pay out to a regular student in June, not in September, long after the bills are due. If players are on campus practicing, they deserve to be supported by the school.

3 - I'm going to guess chloroform was involved.

4 - Tommy Chong. Because, why the hell not?

(30 minutes later...)

ZouDave: The ability to watch non-revenue sporting events live would also be great, but let’s be honest that’s not going to be the reason it succeeds.  For every person that wants to watch a non-WS softball game, or wrestling event, or volleyball match, there’s probably 12, 15, hell 20-25, that have no interest in that at all.  If they launch this thing and the first 3 bullet points don’t have to do with football or basketball then it’s not going to gain enough momentum to hang around.  Start with the mainstream, then branch out once you’ve got your audience.

But ultimately, down the road, it would be super freaking cool to be able to be at a football tailgate and have a tablet device or laptop in the parking lot with you and be able to watch/listen to the women’s volleyball match that’s going on a few hundred yards away.  Definitely a future in that, but I just don’t think it can be the focus of the launch without seeming like nothing but a fringe attraction to the masses.

And Beef:  to answer your question, no.  One, I doubt you can hop.  Two, nobody wants to see you landing on Mila.  Especially Mila.  And especially me.

(30 minutes later...)

RPT: Somebody needs to get a case of 5 Hour Energy in here STAT.

Bill C.: Fine, I'll answer my own questions ... even though I'm now full of rage frmo the 5 Hour Energy reference. I'm so perturbed that I see that I misspelled "from" in the last sentence, but I refuse to go back and fix it.

1. Because I'm me, the most important thing is the vast, easy availability of old games. Because of the "MIZERY" aspect of our history, I feel that our fans don't have as clear an impression of the good things as they could. Come on, like you wouldn't enjoy reading a Rock M live blog of every good thing that has ever happened to the football or basketball program.

2. I almost talk myself into 'yay,' but I just haven't figured out a way to make it logistically/financially feasible. Even the "paid for their likeness" issue ... as I was arguing with Andy Staples, the fight over who does or doesn't get their jersey sold alone would wreck chemistry everywhere. Every possible "pay for play" scenario has some aspect where students end up making business decisions over the decisions that would actually positively impact their future career/goals, and it gives me nightmares. I'm willing to believe there is a proposal I would accept ... but I haven't seen that proposal yet.

3. I'm not sure, but Frank Alexander and Trent Ratterree were involved.

4. I say Bob Pinciotti. Simply because I haven't made nearly enough Bob Pinciotti references on Rock M yet.

ghtd36: Good morrow, gentlemen.

1 - What they need is a staff, and a relatively extensive one. If you're going to do this, you have to do it for real, with a full crew assembled. This can't be a cable access skeleton crew; it's got to be a real live production crew. The programming that would appeal most to me would be behind the scenes stuff -- practice reports, Mizzou "SportsCenters", things like that. Everything else, I can get a lot of other places.

2 - I go back and forth on it; I can see both sides of it. But the biggest thing that keeps me from getting on board with the pay-for-play argument is the nagging feeling that it would only serve to perpetuate corruption. Say you cap it at, I don't know, $5,000 a player (a number I just randomly thought of; don't read into it). All that's going to do is make corruption about paying kids $6,000 a player or $10,000 a player or $50,000 a player. It's only going to up the baseline of corruption, and until you can safeguard against that, it doesn't seem to me that it's going to solve anything. I know, I know, "they're making billions of dollars for their institutions, they should get a cut!" You know, nobody's making them accept the scholarship and play football at a college. If you're really that upset about not being paid, go pull a Brandon Jennings, play overseas for two years and then enter the NFL Draft. The "they're slaves!" argument is both tired and lazy.

3 - Instead of ruining the question by actually telling you how I did it, a true story: on Wednesday -- two days before I proposed -- I decided to go to the Rangers game with the then-girlfriend, because with my magazine's production schedule, I hadn't been able to make it to The Temple in about a month and a half. My mom, who knew I had a ring, asked me if tonight was going to be the night that I proposed. My exact response: "No, Mom, I'm not going to propose at a ballgame, because I'm not a hillbilly." I felt good about me. Also: there will be an RMN table at my wedding. Start jockeying for position.

4 - Mila Kunis. Or the redhead. But really, Mila Kunis.

Bill C.: I like the "Mizzou SportsCenter" idea. Lord knows they have the cheap labor to pull off a nightly, 30-minute broadcast. If you can't arrange for it to be shown on KOMU/Fox Sports MW/whatever, just run it on

The Beef: I am pretty sure no one has ever made a Bob Pinciotti reference on RMN, but lord knows this will now drive traffic

Michael Atchison: I don’t have much to add to one and two, but apparently Greg proposed in some sort of park within a park, and Laura Prepon was always the hottest one, anyway. Her.

The Beef: Did Greg’s best facebook friend let the cat out of the bag?

ghtd36: It's true. I proposed in a gazebo in a park in a Park.

The appropriate reaction.

RPT: Can we get Greg proposing on MizzouCenter?

What in the world would be included on MizzouCenter during the summer? Will they come up with dumb tournaments to fill airtime like we do?

ghtd36: PRESS RELEASE: Chelsea Thomas voted as most "Now" by MizzouCenter viewers.

ZouDave: We could have had Mike Anderson’s "The Decision" a couple of months ago…

RPT: Is it just me, or are the afternoon Top 10's (like the "Top 10 Meltdowns") basically Bleacher Report slideshows with access to archived video?

ghtd36: You just compared ESPN to Bleacher Report.

The Rubicon has been crossed.

RPT: I commend those with the will power to turn off all studio shows from said network.

ghtd36: I watched Pardon the Interruption first the first time in years at one point during the NBA Finals. It hurt.

ZouDave: I actually had to think for a couple of seconds about what channel ESPN even is on my cable lineup.  I almost NEVER watch ESPN anymore outside of football season (unless they’re showing a USMNT game).  They roped me back in with 30 for 30, but since I downloaded all of them I don’t need to find the re-runs.

SleepyFloyd7: Hey boys, Sorry I'm late. A morning of schlepping (had to go get passports for the girls).

1 - I don't care what they give me, as long as Gardening With Gary (Link) is included.
2 - I think the NCAA has to allow for expanded player stipends. But this particular problem (of players taking stuff on the side) will never be fully solved.
3 - Greg & Greggette went to the Ranger's game. Greg got down on 1 knee, heard the crack of the bat, and looked over to see a foul ball coming right at him. Thankfully, Greg was able to leap out of harms way in the nick of time. The baseball hit Greggette in the sternum. - Good luck to you kiddos!
4 - Seth Greene (or Topher's sister).

D-Sing: Morning, folks. It's already hotter than hell here in the Las Vegas Valley as we race to another triple digit high temp.

1. As someone who lives outside the Big 12 footprint, if this network thing is going to work, it needs to be available (somehow) online. There aren't enough Mizzou folks out here to justify them adding a single school network, so I would like to be able to access some of the things being offered via the interwebs. The thing that would interest me the most are old games - the good, the bad and the horrifying.

2. I can't get behind the pay-for-play position. Hearing about what Lorenzo felt he had to do to make rent is heartbreaking. I get that. And it is ludicrous that players, while active, cannot be allowed to sell their memorabilia. If they don't want it anymore and are willing to not cherish it, then let them get some money for it. But where is financial aid in all of this? Why are they not being encouraged, if they qualify, to fill out a FAFSA and see if there are any need-based government grants (like Pell) that they qualify for. Because that money can be used for anything related to your pursuit of an education, which includes rent, utility bills, transportation needs, etc. And the fact that they don't get scholarship checks while in camp is insane.

3. Forget Frank Alexander;  I assume Trent's brother was involved somehow.

4. Lisa Robin Kelly, only because I can't say Mila Kunis.

(Two hours later...)

SleepyFloyd7: This thing is dead like Hedy Lamarr

Michael Atchison: Having just finished the massive ESPN book, I say the Rock M makes a play to take over the Mizzou Network and then years from someone will write an oral history about us. It will be fascinating.

SleepyFloyd7: OK, here you go (reviving an oldie-but-goodie blog question)

The year is 2027, and the National Condiment Czar has decreed that every person in the US-of-A will have an unlimited condiment dispenser installed in each of the fingers (and thumb) on their right hands. You have the option to choose any condiment (and in which finger to put it), but you can only use those 5 condiments FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!

Which condiments do you chose, and where do you put them?

Michael Atchison: Thumb: Brown mustard
Index finger: Sriracha sauce
Middle finger: Tabasco
Ring finger: Arhtur Bryant’s barbecue sauce
Pinky: Pickle relish.

Easiest question ever.

D-Sing: So I'm thinking about this, and maybe it is the lack of coffee getting to me, but why does it matter which finger a condiment goes in? I'm assuming, since it's for the rest of my life, that I can refill the condiment supply, no?

SleepyFloyd7: It replenishes itself by way of science.


SleepyFloyd7: Thumb - Honey

Index - Ketchup
Middle - Brown Mustard
Ring - Cholula

Pinky - Soy Sauce

ghtd36: We did this exercise.

Michael Atchison: I’m going to need a sixth finger for soy sauce.

D-SingThis guy already has that covered.

(30 minutes later...)

RPT: Not to detract from Condiment Fingers 2.0, but as far as the ESPN book goes, if RMN takes over, I think the stairwells would be a lot less interesting.



ZouDave: Thumb – Chocolate Sauce
Index Finger – Smokehouse Hot BBQ Sauce
Middle Finger – Boulevard Pale Ale Mustard
Ring Finger – Soy Sauce
Pinky Finger – Smoked Tabasco

If the rule is that chocolate sauce isn’t a condiment (and I believe it is, and I will want it) then you can replace Thumb with Mrs. Renfro’s Mango Habanero salsa.

ghtd36: Someone put down on the docket for next week's roundtable "Discuss RMN get-together." Because if there's one thing I want to accomplish, it's meeting my Internet friends.

SleepyFloyd7: Meet them now, because once she's got a rang onnit, internet friends are the only friends you will have.

Michael Atchison: For no reason but that cats seem to go over well here:

This whole site is worth falling into.

SleepyFloyd7: 1 - Why are you videotaping your situps?

2 - Is that a bandana? I can't tell.
3 - That will turn your forehead into a fivehead.

4 - Cats are dicks.

ZouDave: I think it is a bandana, but it might be a hat on backwards.

(An hour later...)

Michael Atchison: This is the new mascot for the Amarillo Sox. He looks like a sock, right? Right?

SleepyFloyd7: Looks like mom forgot to use the fabric softener.

The Beef: Or that someone has been busy using that sock for…um…other purposes

Michael Atchison: That guy should have a talk show on the Mizzou Network.

SleepyFloyd7: Up All Night with Sockie?

ZouDave: I don’t know about all night.  Who am I trying to show off for?

SleepyFloyd7: Um, the shoe?

The Beef: You gotta love these last second bursts (speaking of…well…what we are speaking of)

I can just see Bill cursing in his office….

ZouDave: This guy? Dude has over 100,000 posts in less than 7 years.  He’s not hard to impress.

The Beef: Holy crap….someone got to 100K?

Bill C.: And it's someone I've never heard of. I really HAVE been away from Tigerboard for a while...


ZouDave: Well, he used to have another name (Radix, and before that Radix Lecti4 or something like that).  But even then you still may never have heard of him.

The Beef: Radix I remember…

Wow…that just blows my mind. 

Bill C.: Ah, right. I'm actually now disappointed that I've heard of him.

ZouDave: Yeah…I mean I post there way too often and I’m not even at 50,000, and I’ve been there since 1999.

The Beef: I just got an email from someone at my company named Dee Day…do you think they look like this?

ZouDave: That's awesome.

Michael Atchison: How many posts did Jeffrey have in his various incarnations? It had to be in the six figures.

I had the same reaction as Bill – 100,000 posts, never heard of him, been away a long time.

The Beef: I thought about that, and I think he may have been close to that…but I just don’t remember the numbers of it.  7 years though is WAY less than what JC was able to get it done.  I imagine he had at least a few more years on that total…I would guess closer to 10

ZouDave: Well his last account was jay_caesar, he started it on 6/26/07 and he got to 45364 in under 2 years.

His original handle, Notorious_NTP (which was changed for NTP_Cover2Guru, lol) was near 100,000 when he hung that one up and went on to Hustla.  Then he went to Jay-C.  THEN jay_caesar.  I think he’s still the most prolific of all-time as far as frequency.  Seriously, 45000 posts in basically 18 months?  That’s well over 80 posts/day!

The Beef: Strange trip today for this Roundtable….

ZouDave: Stranger than most, but it’s not strange for our trips to be strange.