No one does promotions quite like minor league baseball.
The Lake Elsinore Storm made a name for themselves earlier in the year with their Sheenco de Mayo celebration. This entrepreneurial spirit is echoed around the country, as evidenced by Akron Aero's Ship Out Lebron Night, the Arkansas Travelers' Jose Canseco Pre-game Boxing Match, and the Savannah Sand Gnats lighting someone on fire for a trot around the bases.
So, why shouldn't Mizzou steal these concepts and hop aboard the promotional gravy train? Here are just a couple of ideas to kick things off for 2011-12:
NAMELESS EX-COACH NIGHT -- Have every student in Mizzou Arena tell reporters they plan on finishing their academic careers at Mizzou and then watch them leave for Arkansas a week later.
J.T. TILLER DRINKING GAME FOR HEALTH NIGHT -- Tiller's career is now over, so no more taking one drink every time he hits the floor or two drinks every time he causes someone else to hit the floor. Instead, pick one player prone to similar kamikaze levels and donate $1 or $2 to University Hospital for every such instance.
THE PARTYSTARTER -- Every Laurence Bowers dunk earns Tiger fans $1 off their next purchase at It's A Party.
PREGAME BOXING -- It may not be Canseco, but what if we gave Ricky Clemons a pair of giant inflatable boxing gloves and make him square off with Kalen Grimes and an inflatable shotgun?
LARRY EUSTACHY NIGHT -- All Tri-Delts receive access to the opposing team's coaching office. All other fans can receive $5 off by bringing a case of empty Natty Lights to recycle.
"SERIOUSLY, BLAINE" NIGHT -- Tickets buyers with a receipt for a haircut dated within the last month receive half off.
JASPER SIMMONS NIGHT -- Every ticket purchased comes with a coupon for Trops.
DAVE STECKEL HEADBUTT NIGHT -- Don't ask. DON'T ASK.
T.J. MOE SHRINE NIGHT -- Mizzou fans will host a worship service two hours prior to kickoff.
TODD REESING NIGHT -- Missouri Department of Public Safety thanks the former quarterback for doing more to raise safety awareness than anyone else in history.
QUIT SETTLING FOR MEDIOCRITY NIGHT -- Psych... all you're getting is five percent off an appetizer at Applebee's AND THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER GET.
WELCOME TO MIZZOU FANDOM NIGHT -- Male Tiger fans can trade in their used, beaten and worn protective cups for new ones at the gate.
JAY NIXON NIGHTS -- For all athletic events against Texas Tech and Oklahoma State, corporate sponsors will hand out shirts that say either "Mizzou vs. Wisconsin" or "Mizzou vs. Northwestern" with the date of that game.
CHELSEA THOMAS OPPONENT MEMORIAL NIGHT -- Given the current charitable strength of the Mizzou fan base, now we turn our attention to the victims of Chelsea Thomas' path of destruction. Enlist your young children to write adorable "Get Well Soon" cards to all the hitters she mired in shame.
STUBBLES VS. SPECTACLES WEEKEND -- On a weekend when both baseball and softball are in town, Mizzou fans receive fake glasses in honor of Tim Jamieson and comical fake beards in honor of Ehren Earleywine.
ROCK M NATION NIGHT -- Bill C. will be there from 4-6 a.m., Beef will provide the food, RPT will be nowhere to be found for months at a time, and everyone will start calling D-Sing "ghtd36" just for fun.