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Rock M Roundtable!

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Oh right. It's Wednesday. Beefy's out because of general work crushitude, so raise (or lower) your game accordingly.

1. So Mizzou beat a 10-2 Oklahoma team, ranked in the KenPom Top 50, by 38 points. Does this raise your expectations of Mizzou's Big 12 finish? Were they already high enough that you expect these kinds of wins at home?

2. What is your predicted Big 12 finish this year? Rank all ten teams.

And in case you've already checked out and moved to the SEC in your head, here are the teams that are currently in the Big 12, ahem: Baylor, Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech.

3. Gut feeling: does Mizzou land Dorial Green-Beckham

4. So you'll never believe this, but Work It, a Bosom Buddies rip-off that appears to have neither the charm, acting talent, or, um, class of Bosom Buddies, is getting absolutely horrendous reviews
. How do we still live in a country where a show like this is not only greenlit but enthusiastically advertised for two months before its debut, as if people will watch the commercials and think, "Oh man! I so want to watch that show!"?


Doug: 1 - I think it proves you can't shoot a combined 32% for the game and expect to beat anyone. The transfer of Missouri's Canadian forward really hurts in terms of depth, and I think that will play out and really be exposed over the course of an 18-game conference schedule. Missouri still has the best guards in the conference, but this amazing shooting will cool down and the lack of interior presence will hurt. The Big 12 is still wide open, so Missouri has a good a chance as the other top teams to win.

2 - Right now: Baylor, Kansas, Missouri, K-State, (I'm just guessing now) Texas, Oklahoma State, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma.

3 - Sure, why not? Go nuts, everybody.

4 - As a current employee of an ABC affiliate, I will recuse myself from answering this question.

But, Bill may be on to something.

Bill C.: (Yeah, we will struggle to replace those 30 seconds per game that he was playing against real opponents...)

Bill C.: 1. I am reserving judgment until I see Missouri play at Kansas State. Right now I am perfectly happy assuming something like 12-6 in conference play, maybe 13-5. I just need to see Missouri play well on the road more before I hop aboard the conference title bandwagon. If they play really well (win or lose) at K-State, then win at Ames, I'm probably in. And yeah, since I thought Mizzou would win by 12-15 yesterday, I was suitably impressed by a 38-point win.

2. As always, I never bet against a streak. 1) Kansas 2) Baylor 3) Mizzou 4) KSU 5) Texas 6) Texas A&M 7) Oklahoma 8) Iowa State 9) Oklahoma State 10) Texas Tech

3. For some reason, I've been pretty confident all along about DGB, probably just because he is a perfect combination of Jeremy Maclin (high recruiting rankings, nearly identical family story) and Danario Alexander (size and speed, only DGB is about 10 pounds heavier). If I'm being honest with myself, I realize that the chances are probably only about 25-35%, as with Arkansas and Oklahoma (and maybe Texas or Alabama). But I've been optimistic all along, and I'll stay that way until he picks somebody else. Then I'll move on with my life.

4. I guess I already answered this. It really is amazing, though, that one can very accurately predict the awful reviews and ratings from the commercials, and yet nobody at ABC (or any of the other networks for their obviously awful shows) sees it. (And no, the ratings have not been released yet. But I'm confident I'll know what they say.)

And as an expanded thought on my snarky response to Doug...

Kadeem Green provided "in case of emergency" depth. If Ricardo Ratliffe or Steve Moore were to get hurt, he would be a warm body to throw out there as a replacement, and there would be a dropoff. Now, without him, there is a slightly larger dropoff to, I guess, Andrew Jones. Either way, Mizzou was probably going to be hurting significantly if Ratliffe/Moore went down. I thought it was very telling that even though Mizzou was getting crushed by ODU on the boards last Friday, Green didn't see more than a few seconds of playing time. Haith clearly did not think highly of Green's potential for helping this team, this year, and because of that, I just cannot get even slightly worked up about losing him. It's disappointing -- I had some hopes for what he might be able to do in another year or two -- but in no way alarming.

Michael Atchison: 1. I don’t know if it raises expectations much, but it confirms some things that we’ve seen. They can play like that, and when they do, they’re all but invincible. Still, there’s a little fool’s gold in a game like that. You can’t count on shooting that well very often. Still, it’s different than the nights when Quin’s teams rained down threes. On those nights, it was a guy like Gilbert throwing up crazy shots and watching them fall. With this team, it’s good shots coming off of good offense, which is much easier to replicate. Losing Bowers obviously wasn’t a good thing, but by moving English (who doesn’t handle the ball as well as the other guards) to the four spot, the overall ball-handling and ball movement has become spectacular.

But no, my expectations weren’t high enough to expect those kinds of wins at home. When they went up 45-25, I turned to my wife and said "I didn’t think they’d ever lead this game by 20." I had similar thoughts when they extended the lead to 30 and then to 40. With five minutes to go, Mizzou led 80-38. That should not happen in a conference game.

And apparently this team is more entertaining than politics, even for the professionals. Instead of being glued to their party’s caucus in Iowa last night, Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) and former Governor/Senator/US Attorney General John Ashcroft (R-MO) were at the game.

2. The last time I picked Mizzou to win the league, the team imploded. So I won’t do that again.

1. Baylor
2. Mizzou
3. Kansas
4. Kansas State
5. Texas
6. Texas A&M
7. Oklahoma
8. Iowa State
9. Oklahoma State
10. Texas Tech

3. I have no earthly idea. I don’t follow recruiting closely enough. On the same premise used in my answer to question 2, I’ll say no.

4. I didn’t know this show existed. We live in a world with a million channels. It should cause no surprise or offense that terrible shows get made.

SleepyFloyd7: 1. It was as complete a game as I have seen them play, ever. I thought we had seen the ceiling in the Cal game, but that was not the ceiling.

As far as "That Canadian" goes, the Tigers have been playing 7 players. If ANY of those players goes down, then we'll talk about long-term ramifications. The Big12 is going to be a grind, and there will assuredly be nights where teams abuse our front-court. But those are also games where the big guys on the other end will have trouble staying in front of our guards.

2. Baylor, Mizzou, Kansas, K-State, blarg, blarg, blarg, blarg, blarg, Texas Tech

3. I think it's down to Mizzou, and Arkansas (no inside info there, because he said in a live-chat last night that HE doesn't know what school he will pick on National Signing Day), but I'll say yes - Black & Gold time.

4. I take it as a positive sign of my own personal development that I had not heard of this show, despite the "enthusiastic advertisement" on television. Thank you Breaking Bad on Netflix Instant.

Michael Atchison: I think Spencer has blarg placed just right.

ghtd36: Are you kidding, Atch? Spencer's anti-blarg bias is very well-documented.

SleepyFloyd7: Blarg Blarg Vinnie Jones Blarg.

ghtd36: Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. Hands-only CPR? We've just totally given up on the mouth-to-mouth thing? Every CPR class I've taken (granted, it's been about three years since my last one) taught mouth-to-mouth.

D-Sing: It's funny...I think Vegas had "blarg" as a preseason favorite, actually.

1. Doesn't really raise my expectations, because on some level this team is simply 1-0. It was a great non-con, but the conference scheduel is a whole other animal (especially with the true round robin this year). One game at a time now. I want to see how Saturday goes.

2. 1) That team from Lawrence, 2) Baylor 3) K-State 4) Mizzou 5)Texas 6) Texas A&M 7) Oklahoma 8) Oklahoma State 9) Iowa State 10) Texas Tech.

3. I'm going to say no but it would be nice if he did come, I guess. Again, recruiting is lost on me.

4. Based off of the commercial I would have said that it was more of a Tootsie rip-off than a Bosom Buddies rip off since it's about cross dressing for employment reasons instead of for residential reasons, but that would be offering it far more analysis than I am willing to give it. It also doesn't even deserve that level of analysis.

To be frank, shows like this get made because someone apparently thought it was a good, safe, idea for a comedy. It appears to be a three camera comedy with a studio audience, which hasn't really worked for ABC recently. Why they decided to go to in that direction is confusing to me.

SleepyFloyd7: The Greatest Animated Sports GIFs Of 2011 is up. Any favorites?


1 – It doesn’t necessarily raise the top end of my expectations, but I think it raises the floor of where I won’t be disappointed. I had pretty much expected going into the year that we’d be in the Top 4 of the conference and no worse than a 5-seed in the Tourney but held out hope that this might be the year we can catch the Big XII at the right time and win it. I’m leaning now to think we should be no worse than 3rd in the conference and should be no lower than a 4 in the tourney, and I still think we have a great shot at winning the conference. But KSU, Baylor and kansas are not going to be easy wins in any of the 6 times we play them. Missouri could run out to a 12-6 conference record and be sitting at 25-6 come March…that would be amazing. But if all 6 losses are to KSU, Baylor and kansas that will certainly take some of the luster off of it.

2 – Ugh. Let’s go with:

1 – Missouri
2 – Baylor
3 – kansas
4 – KSU
5 – Oklahoma
6 – Texas
7 – Iowa State
8 – aTm
9 – Okie State
10 – Tech

And I give that ranking having watched exactly 0 minutes of basketball of anyone in the conference besides Missouri, kansas and KSU (and Oklahoma). So it’s a totally random guess.

3 – Yep.

4 – I blame Jerry Springer.

(15 minutes later…)

ZouDave: This one has me laughing in hysterics right now

(10 minutes later…)


(An hour later…)

Michael Atchison: Need to ramp this thing up before heading to the Octagon of Doom.

ghtd36: Maybe Dr. Kenneth Noisewater will be there! From what I hear, he's usually nearby.

Michael Atchison: I assume that this is a young person’s reference, perhaps related to those cartoons that Fox shows on Sunday nights.

ghtd36: Ugh, you olds.

Michael Atchison: True story: Never seen Anchorman.

That should kick start this machine.

(15 minutes later…)

Michael Atchison: What, I can’t even rile up the mock-the-out-of-touch-old-guy constituency?

I’m trying my best here. OK, hoop stat for the day. Mizzou has played five power conference opponents to date. Average margin of victory: 24.

D-Sing: I tried watching Anchorman. I made it through about 20 minutes and was bored out of my mind. So I can't mock you for not watching it at all, Atch.

Also, I got to see one of those power conference opponents for a second time in person right before Christmas. Cal came out to Las Vegas and played UNLV at the Thomas and Mack. They looked awful in that game for about 32-35 minutes or so before the came roaring back and made a blow out much closer than it should've been at the end.

Maybe I've just had the pleasure of watching them lay two massive eggs, but I will be interesteed to see what Cal does in the Pac-12.

ZouDave: I was finally forced into watching Anchorman back in October. I had avoided it for years, because I just knew I wasn’t going to find it funny. Will Ferrell just does not make me laugh.

But I was visiting an old friend in Manhattan, ks, and we’d been up drinking all night (the night before the MU/KSU football game) and he wanted to watch it and I was too drunk to object. And even drunk, I didn’t laugh. It just wasn’t funny to me. I also didn’t like Old School, I only like Wedding Crashers up until the point where Will Ferrell is introduced, I’ve not bothered to watch Step Brothers, Talladega Nights, Semi-Pro, Blades of Glory, or just about any other movie that stars Will Ferrell. He didn’t ruin Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. That’s about the kindest thing I can say about him.

ghtd36: Wow. I don't even know you guys anymore.

ZouDave: I like The Money Pit. That is my response to that.

D-Sing: Like beauty, art, with a few exceptions, is subjective. It's why I tend to not criticize things others enjoy. I'd rather you just enjoy it without worrying about if I like it too.


D-Sing: Now now Greg...there's no need to shout.

ZouDave: Yeah I’m fine with other people finding the movies funny…I won’t argue the merits of the humor. I just don’t want to be forced to watch them, because I know what I find funny and that isn’t it.

I have a very close friend who doesn’t find Caddyshack or Animal House funny, and those are two of my favorite comedy movies of all time. He counters with Freddy Got Fingered. I wouldn’t watch that on Megan Fox’s naked ass.

D-Sing: Yeah see...Freddy Got Fingered would be one of those exceptions.

ZouDave: I avoided seeing Road Trip for a long time because of my hatred for all things Tom Green. I’m glad I finally watched it, because I found Road Trip to be hilarious. But outside of one or two scenes, Tom Green is awful. And he’s only in like 5 scenes.

ghtd36: "He counters with Freddy Got Fingered. I wouldn’t watch that on Megan Fox’s naked ass."

Uh, bluff.

ZouDave: It would RUIN a perfectly good ass!

ghtd36: But if the choice were a Megan Fox-vision screening of Freddy Got Fingered, or nothing, I know you'd choose the former.

Bill C.: #TeamFerrell


Doug: #TeamAnchorman

But, that probably has something to do with my intimate knowledge of the local television news industry, and the realization that I still see a lot of what happens in Anchorman in the modern-day newsroom.

ZouDave: While on the subject of comedy movies I hate…I watched Hangover 2 sometime in the past few days. Holy crap, what a wretched abortion of a movie that was. I was insulted by how terrible that movie was. And I can’t BELIEVE they’re making Hangover 3. Well, that’s not true. I can totally believe it. And people will flock to see it. But I won’t be one of them.

Bill C.: Yeah, I really, really, really, really enjoyed Hangover 1, and I have had less than zero motivation to see Hangover 2.


Hangover 1 still makes me laugh every time I watch it. The whole thing just worked, even with how ridiculously far-fetched it was. This took everything that made 1 funny, stripped out every ounce of humor, threw it in a blender, lit the blender on fire, catapulted the fire into a vat of acid, shot the vat of acid into space, then collapsed that space in a black hole.

Then raped the black hole.

D-Sing:'re saying it is not good, eh?

ghtd36: Fun fact No. 1: Choosing and booking a honeymoon is fun!

Fun fact No. 2: Paying for a honeymoon is 10,000% less fun.

ZouDave: Where you guys going?

ghtd36: Looking like Dominican Republic, and while the hotel (all-inclusive and crap) is actually really reasonable, international flights are super-not reasonable.

ZouDave: Yeah…it’s as if they realize there’s just no other way to get there.

I did a cruise for my honeymoon and loved it, and at least then we only had to fly to Miami. But I really wanted to do the all-inclusive thing. A friend of mine did that and it just seemed like a way better bargain. Mainly because of the alcohol. Alcohol in cruise ships is about as expensive as drinking in a bar, only this is a bar you never really leave. For a week.

So when you consider how much extra money you’d probably spend on some non-all-inclusive place, the price of the international flight may end up being worth it.

Bill C.: Welp...there's the Twitter tease for this roundtable: "Rock M Roundtable! Raping the black hole."