Better Know An Opponent: Mississippi State

This is the first in a (mumblemumble)-part series highlighting five things you may not know about Mizzou’s new conference bunkmates. Please keep in mind that while everything below is true, it’s meant in jest.

(Thanks for the fill-in, BST. I got this.)

Today’s profile: the Mississippi State Bulldogs

1) Mississippi State is actually, officially, Mississippi State University of Agriculture of Applied Science, and that sound you hear is all the Texas A&M students popping their head up with interest. It is "a comprehensive doctoral research university with a very high research activity" as well as a land-grant school. It’s, you know, a college. That’s its thing. Moving on.

Everyone knows where Mississippi State is, right? No? You don’t know where Mississippi State is? Oh. Well, it’s in Starkville, Mississippi…kind of.

You see, it’s partially in the city of Starkville. It’s also partially in an unincorporated area of Mississippi. I used an advanced software known as Google Maps to illustrate this.

In other words, if Starkville had a Facebook page…

2) Think, for a moment, about your dorm experience at Missouri (assuming you went to Missouri, because if you didn’t go to Missouri, why on earth would you subject yourself to the life of a Mizzou fan voluntarily, we have to root for this godforsaken program, and you’re doing it by choice, what in the world is wrong with you, go seek counseling).

So, you’ve got your dorm experience in your mind? Cool. Now let me tell you about how most Mississippi State students lived: crammed into one dorm.

That’s right: Mississippi State was home to Old Main, the first building on the MSU campus and the largest college dormitory in the United States. At its peak, it housed 1,100 students. Eleven hundred students! In one dorm! To put that in perspective, I’m pretty sure that Excellence Hall or Responsibility Hall or Chastity Hall or whatever the hell Mizzou is naming its dorms now holds approximately 60 students. Or so. I’m guesstimating.

Unfortunately, Old Main was lost forever in a giant fire in 1959. Salvaged from the wreckage, though, was this piece of memorabilia.

3) And now it’s time for one of my favorite recurring features: ghtd36 Unfairly Captions Images From The School’s Website!

4) Hmm, whatever am I going to do for the fourth topic in this piece I wonder EMBARRASSING ALUMNI TIME.

Now, a note: SB Nation has been cracking down on the use of images, because they’re an evil conglomerate bent on world domination that doesn’t have time for Fair Use cases. I can say this because they don’t pay me (yet!).

As a result, you have to click to get the joke. I know. I KNOW.

Former vice president of Internal Audit at WorldCom Cynthia Cooper, who blew the whistle on the company’s massive fraud and was named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year in 2002. See also: Buzz Killington.

Missouri State president James E. Cofer. Hey! Look at that!

John "People Yelling Legal Things At One Another For 500 Pages" Grisham, noted author. Don't undress me with your eyes, Grisham.

Ronnie Parker, founder of Pizza Inn. Do not try to stay there. It’s not that kind of inn. A lesson you only have to learn once.

Former Ranger great Will Clark. (And a ton of other MLB players. They all used steroids. All of them.)

Colossally average Pirates pitcher Paul Maholm.

INTENSEFACE.

New York City meteorologist Audrey Puente, the daughter of legendary salsa singer Tito Puente.

5) Let’s talk about rivalries for a moment. That’s what this is all about, right? We want to form new rivalries with our new conference roommates. Well, as you could likely surmise, Mississippi State has one pretty darn big rival: Ole Miss.

The Bulldogs and the Rebels (remember, this is Mississippi, so Confederacy and stuff) first met in 1901, meaning it’s just ten years younger than the Border War (awww). And, well, they love fighting.

Example: back in 1926, Ole Miss went on the road and beat Mississippi State (then Mississippi A&M) in what I’m sure was a thrilling 7-6 contest full of fullback dives and aversion to the forward pass. Well, Ole Miss fans, all of a sudden feeling a rush of moxie, decided it was good idea to rush the field…Mississippi A&M’s field. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over super-well with the Mississippi A&M fans, who rushed the field as well and tried to defend their goalposts. There were fights. Many, many fights.

The preventative measure that the powers-that-be instituted to prevent such ruckuses from happening in the future? You guessed it: a trophy, and a dumb one.

Enter the Egg Bowl, which has been awarded to the winner of the MSU-Ole Miss game every year since 1927.

The good news is that it did seem to quell the violence oh wait they’re still fighting.

A trophy to prevent fighting. I did not realize that Dan Beebe was in charge of those two schools back then.

Tune in next week for another edition of Better Know an Opponent!