It's been almost a week since anyone dribbled a basketball. Asking us to remember every minute detail about the four teams left standing for that long is just absurd. Do teachers expect you to return from summer break with 100% of the lessons you learned the previous year in tow? Nah son, they spend a solid chunk of the first semester teaching you things you definitely learned last year but didn't think were important enough to hang on to while you were running around outside like a hooligan. That's why GIF Session is here, to give you that Final Four review you so desperately need. Class is in session, y'all. Time to learn.
The Florida Gators
These guys scare the pants off me. They haven't blown anybody out in the Tournament, but they haven't had to. They pummel you until you can't keep up with them anymore, and then they go on a run that puts the game safely out of your reach. Example A: UCLA. The Bruins kept the game close up until the very end. They were feeling relatively safe. They had a legitimate shot at moving on to the next round, but then the Gators did what gators do.
RIP Bruins.
Up next was the Dayton Flyers. The Cinderella story probably thought it was immune to Florida's vicious attack, their cruising altitude would be well out of the Gators' range... Right?
Wrong, Florida grounds the Flyers 62-52 and waits to see who they'll face in the Final Four.
The Connecticut Huskies
UConn has been one of the many surprising teams in this year's Tourney, and they can probably attribute much of their success to the hard work they p- HOLD UP.
PUPPY. No but seriously, the Huskies squared off against an Iowa State team puppies that wasn't at full strength. Even still, they would puppy have to contain two skilled PUPPIES scorers if they wanted to PUPPY move on. Puppy puppy PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES.
Okay so anyway, next UConn would have to face Michigan State, a team that many people had winning the whole shebang. They would have to... Okay, who am I kidding.
PUUUPPPPPIIIEEEEES.
Ugh.
The Wisconsin Badgers
The cheese keeps on trucking fools. The Neon Bears of Baylor weren't able to slow its roll, but would the 1-seeded, former top-ranked team in the nation, Arizona Wildcats knock the cheese wheel off its track?
The Wildcats put up a good fight, taking the Badgers to overtime, but in the end the cheese had built up too much momentum. Wisconsin moves on to the Final Four.
The Kentucky Wildcats
Will these Wildcats fare any better than their desert counterparts? They've certainly been challenged more in the tournament, which can't be a bad thing. They've also looked impressive in those challenges. Check out these highlights from their first-round matchup with Kansas State.
Not bad, huh? If there is a flaw to be found in this Kentucky team, you'd find it in their lack of experience. I won't beat around the bush here, they're a bunch of babies. They're little children who somehow keep beating up the older kids on the playground. I wasn't really sure how they kept doing it, so I hid a camera in the sandbox. The footage I got will shock you.
Yikes. Hey Badgers, don't take these toddlers lightly.
Guess what, you're now in possession of every piece of knowledge that you'll need to watch the Final Four play out this weekend! Now when you watch the games with your pals, you won't have to lean on your devilish good-looks when you want to impress them. Go ahead and give yourself a high-five, you've earned it.
As always, may your viewing be enjoyable and your bracket burn in flames. Merry Madness, y'all!