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Missouri defenders aim to rack up turnovers

(of both the football and the baked goods variety)

Kevin C. Cox

Earlier today, our eyes were opened to the fact that the University of Missouri's defensive players have a little extra incentive to creating and recovering turnovers. Sure, fumble recoveries and interceptions help their team win the game, but the REAL payoff that Mizzou's defenders get comes in the form of sweet, sweet baked goods.

Mrs. Steckel isn't the only coach's wife partaking in this sinfully delightful endeavor. Defensive-line Coach Craig Kuligowski's wife has also been known to fire up the oven after a big play.

So, according to those two tweets, when this happened...


... Markus Golden earned himself three bags of cookies and a whole plate of brownies. Not bad. Markus, what do you think?


This revelation does give us pause for question, however. We know that turnovers lead to brownies, and we can infer that defensive touchdowns garner three (3) bags of cookies, but what else can Mizzou's players win? Let's hypothesize, shall we?

Defensive statistics

Tackles – Too common. Not snack-worthy.

Tackles for loss – A bit more rare. Could be store-bought cupcakes.

Sacks – The much more sought-after loss-of-yardage play. A step up from TFLs = cupcakes with ice cream.

Passes defended – More sparse than you'd think. My guess is strudels.

Quarterback hurries – Very likely to cause turnovers, so... turnovers.

Defensive MVP of the game – Pie, because pie is the undefeated champion of all dessert/baked goods.