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The Lazy Fan's Guide to Week 12

The twilight of the SEC season is upon us, and there is darkness in week 12 for you the viewer...

Well friends, we're nearing the end of the SEC season (for football that is) and we've had some good weeks with some good games on our schedule, Bama v LSU, State v Bama, Vandy v Florida (I guess), but this week...this week brings us one "good game" and then a whole lot of non conference "action." Never have I seen so many non power 5 teams on a schedule that didn't take place in early September. Readers, the SEC (like my picks) is letting you down, and there's nothing we can do about it...this is our lot.

But, there is a potentially good game, LSU takes on Ole Miss in a game that will determine if Alabama is crowned champion this week, or next. That's really it...I kid you not. This SEC weekend, you'll have to be a true football fan with nothing else going on in your life that's more interesting than getting acquainted with some schools you haven't thought about since you put away your shorts and brought out your best Fall man scarf.

Before we can get to the games, let's see how we're doing...and we all know Chris is doing poorly...

To the records!

Picker Correct Picks Incorrect Picks Overall Record to Date
kristina 9 4 92-37
Chris 8 5 89-45

Oh man LSU what are you doing? We saw this script last year, allowing Bielema to beat your team in November and take that "trophy" home with them. I assume you're just trolling at this point to make sure Bert stays employed to be nothing but mediocre in the SEC? If that's it, mission accomplished! Now lay off the grass Les, this is no way to get hired by Mizzou...

Now what do we have on tap this weekend? Avert your eyes, this is uglier than what Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt found in that room in Seven with all the Magic Trees...

To the games!

#8 Florida vs Florida Atlantic 11:00 AM SEC Network / WatchESPN

The battle for who controls the state of Florida and so, instead of getting to see the Gators take on a school of some relevance like a Florida State or Miami, or hell even University of Central Florida (who is bad I know but at least they've been relevant recently) we get this. The Florida victory lap continues before they head to Atlanta for their whooping at the hands of the Tide. Take solace in this Gators, play a good game in December and you may push Bama down a notch or two?

Scale of Watchability: Let's just set this one at Defcon 4. I'd say five again, but the game in the same spot is so bad that children shouldn't be allowed to watch. No, this is the kind of game you watch on a Saturday morning because you're so hungover you can't move or change the channel. Take the kids to the mall and see Santa (who I imagine is out already) if you're into the whole Christmas thing, if not, go to the mall and watch the parents deal with the screaming for fun.

kristina: Florida. We should all be like Nordstrom's policy to not put out any of the Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving, okay? But hey, FAU's land is an official owl sanctuary, which is neat. Beats the hell out of squirrels running all over the place.

Chris: Florida is going to win this game and that's really all there is to it. Another tune up where they can learn to run the touchdown play I suppose...Gators until further notice.

South Carolina vs The Citadel 11:00 AM SEC Network / WatchESPN

Well, if Carolina wants to find another win before the season ends, this is their chance. Nothing like wrapping up your schedule with Clemson. If they win, their bowl hopes stand on beating the #1 team, no pressure, eh? (Hint for you guys, it helps to run the kickoff back in that situation!) The bigger question/focus might be on who takes the head coach position, cue "SEC head coach drama!"

Scale of Watchability: We'll set this at Defcon 3, as it's early, slim pickings, and this might actually be a close one, unfortunately for SC fans. The bulldogs come into town with their triple option averaging 343/344 (depending on the source, what's a yard here or there, right?) yards a game which could pose some trouble for the Gamecocks, but most have the latter favored by a double-digit amount.

kristina: South Carolina though this is my "not particularly stoked about it' pick. I'm also not stoked Missouri's forecast this weekend involves twenty-something temperatures. You don't need cold weather to enjoy football, people! You can photoshop in snow for your holiday pictures, honestly. It's fine.

Chris: Gamecocks all day son, We're watching you other Columbia, you think you can potentially take a coach we may or may not want to run our program? Well you're wrong. I know you think your job is more desirable than the Mizzou job because of "tradition" and that's cute, but look around your state, you have no metro areas and a history that goes back to when In Living Color was on tv, that's it. We're the same...but better.

#22 Ole Miss vs #15 LSU 2:30 PM CBS / CBS Video

What did you do Alabama? You broke Les Miles and you broke Leonard Fournette, why?! This game on the surface of things looks slightly interesting and that's only if Ole Miss can win to put the possibility of the Iron Bowl meaning something next week and that requires them also beating State...this is the best we have for drama in the SEC...what has this conference become?

Scale of Watchability: SEC Defcon 2 please, and really that's only the function of what's around it. Have you ever been to a bar and seen a person you thought was attractive, and you're not sure if they are and it could be because everyone else around them is just not? That's this game. This is a defcon 4 dressed in defcon 2 clothes.

kristina: Not inspired here, but I'll go Ole Miss as it's a home game and LSU hasn't had much of an answer once Fournette's stopped. Plus, last time I didn't pick Ole Miss they won, 'cause that should factor in your decision. (Chris must love I'm winning this thing, I think next year I'll just set up a SEC dartboard and have a go at it.)

Chris: I honestly have no idea what's going on at Ole Miss or LSU, you're both so cooky! You're good, then you're not. So, I'm just guessing here that LSU rights it's ship to help old Les hold onto his job for one more week, but I'm as confident in this as I am in Drew Gooden taking a three point jumper.

Auburn vs Idaho 3:00 PM SEC Network / WatchESPN

So many cupcakes games this late in the season, such a letdown. But oh no, this one still is on television. The tigers could use the win here to become bowl eligible (sound familiar, folks?) and, also, just like us, have a much better chance with this one versus next's week date with Alabama. Then again, the last time Auburn was heavily favored, they really tried to throw a huge wrench into the system, needing OT to beat Jacksonville State.

Scale of Watchability: We'll set this one to Defcon 5, if a preview compares this to beating up on your younger sibling 'cause you can, it just doesn't sound like much fun at all (if you're, of course, the younger sibling, right, Dirk?) We just threw that in there since Mac's our number one (if only) commentator. Anyway, find another game, start up your tailgating for Mizzou, or fold the laundry.

kristina: Auburn. Even if it does go into overtime, hah. Curly fries are the best. This is what I get for writing this up before I go find dinner. Mmm, better yet, kettle cooked potato chips as I know those are sitting right there in the pantry. Cooked with avocado oil, which I'm sure is just the latest fad, but they are pretty damn tasty.

Chris: Idaho is bad at everything, Auburn is not great at much more than that. But let's take the Tigers of Auburn at home against the Vandals. I look forward to the Idaho Potato Bowl more than most bowl games because HUGE POTATO, just think of all the fries you could make, curly, shoe string, regular!

#2 Alabama vs Charleston Southern 3:00 PM SEC Network / WatchESPN

Alabama is just cruising at this point, beating errrrrrrrrrybody. And they're gonna get into the playoff possibly as a top seed and everyone will forgot they lost a weird one to Ole Miss. I imagine Saban hates having to play this game as much as I would if I had to watch it. Enjoy the pay check CSU.

Scale of Watchability: SEC Defcon 4 please and thank you. I mean it is Alabama and if you want to be conversant at your Thanksgiving dinner table you're going to have to be able to talk about them. You know you're gonna have that one relative that thinks this Bama team could beat the Titans or Browns and you're going to have an opinion lest you want the mashed potatoes thrown all over Aunt Irma.

kristina: Alabama. If LSU couldn't run that much against them...... Bucky the Buccaneer? Lacking creativity points, style points have to count somewhere. I'll magically wish I was tailgating right about this time.

Chris: Alabama. And here's a fun prediction for you. Nick Saban tires of Tuscaloosa and as a nod to his old mentor Don James he decides to quit to take over the Mizzou job in place of Gary Pinkel after the season ends. All the National Championships will belong to us!

Arkansas vs Mississippi State 6:00 PM ESPN / WatchESPN

Arky's coming off a win vs LSU while poor State had to deal with 'Bama. Yes, you can beat LSU and lose to Toledo in the same season. Both teams are gearing up for this contest as each has released their little hype video. Is that a thing now, the pregame hype video every week? Do we do that? Which is worse, that or blaring the opponent's music/sound effects through your speakers at practice?

Scale of Watchability: We're setting this one at Defcon 2 folks, for the most part. Most of us, of course, are switching the channel just a few minutes into this one, but it should be a good game, most have it ending closer than the LSU/Ole Miss affair.

kristina: I'm only going to pick Arky here as that way, they'll lose and we'll be done with all this nonsense. See, it's a win/win either way for me now. Plus, we get to have another "agree to disagree" game.

Chris: Look at that, it's the other potentially interesting game of the day. I'm intrigued I have to tell you. Bert and the Hogs are doing that thing where they look good in November after taking three months to get the hang of things. But Bert hasn't seen Dak yet, and Dak is in no mood to lose to you Kool Aid man! Take State and Dak and hope they don't wear those ridiculous pants.

Georgia vs Georgia Southern 6:00 PM ESPNU / WatchESPN

Earlier we had the battle for Florida, well now we're battling for the state of Georgia part one! Part two takes place when Georgia Tech shows up next week. Who will be the true champion of this state where Mark Richt is no longer adored, and maybe never was? Is Richt fighting for his job, or the Mizzou job???

Scale of Watchability: SEC Defcon 4 yet again. Listen this game is gonna be boring and ugly, hence it's placement on the U. But if you believe Mark Richt could be fired and Mizzou goes after him (probably not) well you should get an eyeful I suppose...

kristina: Another cupcake. Would it be that troublesome to say "must have conference games" the last few weeks or so? Doesn't matter, we're all gearing up for our game, right? Fifteen minutes left, uncorking the wine, checking on the food, making sure we actually know what channel we need to turn to. (You know, just in case, setting the DVR)

Chris: This would be so much more interesting if it was the basketball teams playing. Can we make that happen? No? Ok. Take Georgia as Richt continues to be employed for a little while longer.

Mizzou vs Tennessee 6:15 PM ESPN2 / WatchESPN

Well, if ahead of Friday's big news, you had guessed Mizzou's week couldn't get any crazier, haha, you guessed wrong. (Also, never get involved in a land war in Asia) Pinkel's retiring, and Mizzou can send him off with a final bowl game if victorious, 'cause it certainly beats trying to beat that crazy train known as Arky next week. Come on, fans, who's your favorite senior Tiger that's about to play in his final home game?

Scale of Watchability: Another Defcon 2, as we're biased here at TLFG, but no, really, watch this one. It's senior night for whole lot of seniors, Pinkel's last home game (make sure your generic brand facial tissues are handy!) and a win gives Mizzou that ever so loved bowl eligibility. Pinkel hasn't lost to Tennessee, so can he complete the sweep? (Two have been close, one was a thumping, we say even things up and let's have a thumping)

kristina: Tigers, what better way to end Pinkel's era at home with a win on senior night and to be undefeated versus the Voluntears. Priceless, right? (Minus the actual dollar amount you lucky folks spent on tickets and all the tailgating items)

Chris: I assume we're playing this game for Gary? Good! Take the Tigers at home on Senior Night. Gary's gonna cry, Evan's gonna cry and Charles Harris sends Josh Dobbs into orbit where he truly wants to be or so I'm told. Gonna miss you doing what you do Gary....

Vanderbilt vs Texas A&M 6:30 PM SEC Network / WatchESPN

You know, if Vanderbilt ever figured out how to move the ball forward and not on accident, this would be a competent team, one that would have had a good chance to win the SEC east, but they didn't and it all may have come together too late for them. Aggies, you confuse me, like so many SEC West teams, I'm frankly confused...

Scale of Watchability: SEC Defcon 3 please. This is somehow interesting to me for good defense vs good offense and you know Nashville is fun. SO MUCH LIVE MUSIC.

kristina: Aggies, I guess, I mean you can only run a trick play once before other teams should take notice, right? Amusing as hell to watch it though, even with my pick being Kentucky.

Chris: What I will take from this season is that Fancy Pirates could be good next year, and that has me scurrrrrrrred. But for now they're just not there. Take the Aggies but I'm not too sure of that. Thanks for beating the Wildcats last week Vandy, that was delightful!

Kentucky vs Charlotte 6:30 PM SEC Network / WatchESPN

Oh, Kentucky, what happened? Y'all went from 4-1 to 4-6. Well, karma feels poorly about it all, apparently, as you have almost a "served on a platter" win here. Redshirt freshman Drew Barker gets the start for Kentucky, as Towles apparently has been ineffective since, well, you know, we faced him. Gee, thanks for that. Kentucky manages this, they face Louisville for the sixth win.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 4, we're all already watching something else, right? We'd set it at five, but you never know when Kentucky might just really screw things up. Charlotte comes in at 0-7 in Conference USA so you'd think this would be easy for the Wildcats.

kristina: Kentucky, though they all left for the squeaky-hoops. (And wow, they're (still) really good/tall) Got to watch the sidelines, y'all. Sneaky Pete's certainly watching you. Do all teams give trick plays oddball names?

Chris: Oh Kentucky, it's basketball season for real now. You lost to Vandy and gave up serious points doing it. Don't worry, you've got Cal and Skal. It's a new sitcom coming to CBS this spring. Take the Wildcats and then let's hope they don't get bowl eligible next week for fun.

Picker SEC Winners SEC Losers
kristina Florida, South Carolina, Ole Miss, Auburn, Alabama, Georgia, Mizzou, Texas A&M, Kentucky, Arky LSU, Mississippi State, Tennessee, Vanderbilt
Chris Florida, South Carolina, LSU, Auburn, Alabama, Mississippi State, Georgia, Mizzou, Texas A&M, Kentucky Ole Miss, Arkansas, Tennessee, Vanderbilt

And that'll do it for this week, come back next week for the final regular season week of TLFG, before we hit up the SEC Championship and BOWL SEASON!

Enjoy your viewing all!