Mercifully, ungracefully, the SEC's regular season came to and end. What's that? Plenty of teams in the SEC were happy with how their seasons ended? Are we sure about that? What does that feel like - being content with the on-the-field product of your football team?
1. Alabama Crimson Tide - Hey Lane Kiffin, how about you pass the ball once in a while, huh? Get some diversity in your play calling. It's almost 2016, for gosh's sake.
2. Ole Miss Rebels - The Egg Bowl was a microcosm of Ole Miss' season. They got off to a scorching hot start, slowly faded as things progressed, and eventually finished with a result that will probably get them to the Sugar Bowl.
3. Mississippi State Bulldogs - I know Dak Prescott is real damn good and can lead a nice comeback, but spotting Ole Miss 21 points probably wasn't a good idea.
4. Florida Gators - The game against Florida State was just a big hustle. They don't want Alabama to take them seriously so they'll drop their guard and then BAM! Treon Harris connects on a bomb to oh wait nope, that got intercepted.
5. Arkansas Razorbakcs - Post-Thanksgiving Bret Bielema is nigh-unbeatable. But really, his actual Thanksgiving leftovers probably could've kept Missouri out of the end zone.
6. LSU Tigers - FOUR MORE YEARS. FOUR MORE YEARS.
7. Tennessee Volunteers - A winning record in the SEC. Congration. You done it.
8. Georgia Bulldogs - The Dawgs didn't really have reason to worry about Georgia Tech. They'd already used up their big win of the season against Florida State, Georgia was safe.
9. Auburn Tigers - You kept things interesting longer than most folks thought you would! It's something!
10. Texas A&M Aggies - What... What is happening in College Station. Why is the defense the strongest part of the team. How. How did Twilight Realm A&M manage to switch places with real world A&M?
11. Vanderbilt Commodores - The spanking by Tennessee doesn't change the fact that Vandy just finished up a far more successful season than most of us thought possible. Things are looking up in Nashville.
12. Missouri Tigers - The Tigers just wanted one or two pieces of leftover turkey, Bert. That's all. You really couldn't spare them that? Jerk.
13. Kentucky Wildcats - It looks like the gameplan was: "Let's shut as much down as we can and let Lamar Jackson beat us" and that was uh, ill-advised.
14. South Carolina Gamecocks - Man, that defense is a sieve. Know who would fix that right up? I can think of someone. He's a great defensive mind and he's got SEC head coaching experience. What's that? Who!? Oh god, no. Not Muschamp you fools. Christ. No, I'm talking about future South Carolina savior: Gene Chizik.