For the past two weeks kristina and I have been dropping hot sports takes and knowledge all over you to ensure that you are the most prepared fan you can be. And we imagine you've been dropping these truth bombs all over your social circle and are now the go to guy/gal for anything NCAA tournament related. Jay Bilas, psshh what does he know? Barkley? The man's only interested in his next burrito. Reggie Miller? The man knows more about Spike Lee's wardrobe than the game that is actually taking place right in front of his face.
So, because we don't want you walking around in the dark as it pertains to the final four, we thought we'd bring the Lazy Fan's Guide back for the Final Four. Because there are only two games you're going to get twice the takes!
Let's dig in....
Final Four Game 1
#7 Michigan State vs #1 Duke
Saturday, 6:09 PM Eastern on TBS
Ah yes, the elite French mountain infantry unit returns. Well, maybe not so much.
Learning that Duke has co-opted my people, MY PEOPLE!, as a mascot is infuriating thing. Duke is all that they are not. In the vein of Michael Bolton's problem in Office Space concerning his conundrum of his name, I say to Duke the same thing, it is you who should change for it is you who suck.
Though if we're talking strictly mascots, Michigan State wins out from the final four. Might be the only thing they win from here on out, as they're clearly the underdog. But you can never count out Izzo...in March. But it's April now so I think you can count anything out that you want. If State falls all over itself and ends up looking like a bunch of clowns falling out of the back of a Volkswagen (which I hear is a very uncomfortable place) don't be surprised, if you're seeing this take place:
Leave it to Duke to make custom "do not disturb signs." Nothing says "be afraid" like this.
God they are awful...and it's such a Duke thing to do.
But when considering this game, at the end of the day we should all be pulling for State and I think it's really just down to this, you either love Duke or you sports hate them. I know two Duke fans...TWO! One went there and the other went to ECU and apparently ignores their team. But for all our sanity and so Mrs. HHKB doesn't have to tell another congressman from California that his school sucks and that he should be careful walking around DC while he's trying to enjoy a meal at a since closed Indian Restaurant, I mean who needs that.
Final Four Game 2
#1 Wisconsin vs #1 Kentucky
Saturday, 8:49 PM Eastern on TBS
Notre Dame put up a good fight, a good lot of us were convinced (and perhaps glad?) UK was about to end their perfect season. Alas, we're still stuck with Ashley Judd.
She's a big fan, just so you're aware. Given UK tends to get away with a few shoves on offense, coupled with Kaminsky's love for flopping, this could get ugly. About as ugly as Wisconsin's new uniforms.
You're not Oregon, stop it.... now.
Looking at those unis I can look back to a young man going to prom and seeing all his friends go the vest route and him saying, NO, give me the cummerbund, because he thought it looked classic. What a silly misguided boy... SI has cursed the badgers having Kaminsky, aka "Frank the tank", on their latest cover, but we all know who the original "Frank the Tank" is.
Stop stepping all over our memes, badgers!!
Anyway, you've got perfection vs...cheese? I wonder if Aaron Rodgers will be there? You know since he works in Wisconsin he gets to cheer them on now and no one can say a damn thing about it! Sorry Aaron if I'm thinking annoying football player who cheers on a university in a big game I'm going with Michael Irvin.
I mean that's passion right there, he looks like he's literally going to melt with joy like the guys who stared into the Arc at the end of Raiders. Up your game State Farm boy.
But to the game, the SEC has attempted to program us into blindly supporting other schools in the conference because "SEC." And that doesn't do much for me, give me some bullet points or some more info to inform my decision.
Here's what you need to know: Willey Cauley-Stein is from a little place called Kansas so decision made!
Now that we're sure you're revved up for this Saturday's action, you can get a small basketball fix with this opinion on the top ten Final Four games so far.