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SEC Power Poll: THE RESULTS ARE IN

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At the conference HQ, Team Speed Kills, we're power-ranking the SEC. Here's this week's ballot.

Number one again. Roll damn tide.
Number one again. Roll damn tide.
Hal Yeager/Getty Images

Well folks, it's primary season. That time of year when we all gather around our computers, eagerly watching as the polling numbers trickle in from exiting locales like: Des Moines, Dover, and Ames.

Here at Rock M Nation, we have a poll of our own. Now that all of the primary bowls have been completed, we're very happy to announce the final results. So, without further ado, I'd like to present to you the final SEC Power Poll of the season.

1. Alabama Crimson Tide - I present to the court, National Champion Alabama Crimson Tide, fourth of their name, conquerors of the South, and warden of Croot. Long may they reign.

2. Ole Miss Rebels - Many great rappers have followed up a grand entrance with an even better sophomore album. Late Registration, ATLiens, good kid, m.A.A.d city, the list goes on. Recently, quarterback/rapper Chad Kelly announced that he would be returning to Oxford for his senior season as a Rebel. After a stellar debut that saw him put together a chart-topping season as a passer, will Kelly follow in the footsteps of the critically-acclaimed lyricists before him? Only time will tell.

3. LSU Tigers - Leonard Fournette. Fournette, Leonard. L. Fournette. This is the entirety of the LSU comment.

4. Mississippi St. Bulldogs - Thank you, Bulldogs. Letting a team with the word "North" in its name win the Belk Bowl would've been blasphemy.

5. Arkansas Razorbacks - The Hogs throttled K-State to put a capper on a season that started out disappointing but ended on an upswing, which puts them in prime position for a stellar performance next season where they'll start out disappointing again.

6. Florida Gators - I'd like to say that having a competent quarterback would've saved them from an embarrassing bowl loss, but even with that I'm not sure the Gators could've bested Jim Harbaugh coaching within 20 magical miles of Disney World.

7. Tennessee Volunteers - [copies the Vol hype from before this past season and pastes it into this offseason]

8. Georgia Bulldogs - Well, I guess trying to be Alabama of the East isn't a terrible idea. Except for when, yanno, you have to play the real Alabama. But I digress.

9. Auburn Tigers - You have to be more careful, Gus Malzahn. If you keep going from an ice-cold chair to a relatively hot seat so quickly, you're bound to catch a cold.

10. Texas A&M Aggies - EXODUS. Movement of Jah people!

11. Vanderbilt Commodores - The defense doesn't even need to improve for the 'Dores to improve upon this past season. It was fantastic. It's the offense that needs to catch up.

12. Missouri Tigers - Look at the bright side, Tiger fans. At least the football program is in better shape than the basketball program.

13. Kentucky Wildcats - Patrick Towles apparated after the conclusion of the season, but the Wildcats won't necessarily be losing a lot of consistent production. Plus, he was a garbage configurations student.

14. South Carolina Gamecocks - You hired a head coach because he had head coaching experience in your league, regardless of the fact that said experience could be described as a smoldering trash heap at best, and a black hole that swallowed up all of the surrounding light at worst. You went full NFL. Never go full NFL.