A college football team decides to call in sick and take a day off. As a result, they are hunted by a Louisiana substitute principal determined to make their "day off" a living hell. His name? Edward Orgeron Rooney.
1 Star (out of 5) "You're killin' me, Smalls"
SPOILER: This game follows the rare plot line metaphor of "villain slays protagonist, burns down his home and subsequently dances on his fiery grave for the next 2 hours." It was an odd directorial choice by Barry Odom and crew to be sure. I don't fully grasp the reasoning of telling a story absent of heroes or conflict and I'm certain you don't either. So much went wrong here that one cannot simply pinpoint the problem in one sitting. I know I can't. All I can do is quote fictitious film critic Jay Sherman, "It STINKS!"
After being subjected to Saturday's "game", one word came to mind: disappointment. (Well, many expletives came to mind actually but Rock M Nation is family site). Sports organically lend themselves to a certain amount of letdown from time-to-time but this past weekend takes the cake in the "how the hell did that happen?" department.
Mizzou is no stranger to disappointment, however. Look no further than this season's premiere,Zouicide Squad (Mizzou v West Virginia). Though, where Squad's disappointment derived mainly from the over-hyped minds of us optimistic-to-a-fault fans, Missouri Tigers Day Off was across the board disappointing; from fans to players to coaches to pretty much anyone with half a soul. Expectation most certainly did not meet reality here. It was like watching a movie trailer portraying a light-hearted Weekend at Bernie's-esque comedy, then sitting down in the theater to a painfully depressing screening of The English Patient 2: Testing Your Patience.
I definitely felt as if we were duped, bamboozled… hoodwinked even.
Unfortunately, this is where Odom and crew shined on Saturday: pulling the Tiger skin rug out from under the unsuspecting viewer. While I am confident this sort of double-cross will not become an Odom staple, it is quite discouraging nonetheless.
I wasn't being facetious with my earlier spoiler, either. From the get-go we are treated to the ominous sound of Ed Orgeron's sultry, yet villainous, voice preaching of hunting down 'dem Tigers from Missourah. Within in minutes, Ed makes good on his promise by capturing, torturing and… well, castrating every tiger donning black-and-gold. To my and the viewers chagrin, it was pretty much a rinse and repeat formula until the credits mercifully rolled a couple hours later. To say this film lacked depth or any real purpose would be an understatement. Claiming it to be as wretched as M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening would be a fair statement, however.
What Alec Found Not-So-Disappointing
Corey Fatony: the lone bright spot in an otherwise endless pit of sorrow. (Though, even his Jean-Claude Van Damme-like kicking prowess could not save this game from itself) But the mere thought of the punter being Mizzou's best player (yet again) is… well, unacceptable.
What Alec Found Disappointing
Pretty much anything and everything captured by my eyeballs.
Unfortunately, one lasting image I and most Mizzou fans may never purge from their brain is that of substitute principal Edward Orgeron Rooney. Any time you close your eyes, he's there… waiting… in the interim.
Summary: If emotionally deprived, one-sided slog fests get your rocks off, Missouri Tigers Day Off is definitely your bag. However, if you're a sane human being of decent character, MTDO is nothing more than a flaming bag of feline feces you're forced to stamp out with your boot. IT STINKS!
What do you think? Rate the game below using the Smalls-o-meter and find out what the rest of Mizzou Nation thinks.
Rock M Review Ratings
*You're killin' it, Smalls (60% or more Mizzou fans rate the game positively)
*You're killin' me, Smalls (59% or fewer Mizzou fans rate the game positively)
Watch (or don't):
Genre: Lies | Rated D (for disappointing)
Starring: Edward O. Rooney
Produced by: Josh Heupel and DeMontie Cross
Directed by: Barry Odom