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The Lazy Fan’s Guide to Week 11 in the SEC

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The directional portion of the SEC schedule is mercifully over

defcon

We’re back after a week off where the nation and went out did what nation’s do. That said, with the election behind you, you can focus entirely and solely on SEC football who obligingly has removed the random non conference games from the schedule and blessed the SEC with a plethora of early games because SEC fans don’t like being cold, or the twilight that comes with late afternoon games.

To the Records!

Picker Last Week's Record Season to Date
kristina 10 Wins, 4 Losses 53 Wins, 30 Losses
Chris 10 Wins, 4 Losses 59 Wins, 24 Losses

Clearly we’re doing pretty well but damn if State didn’t just come in and blow the whole thing up? What got into you Clanga Clanga, someone remind you of the whole scoring thing? Dan Mullen is a genius...

Anyway, let’s get into this week which has more tasty treats than the good house on Halloween, you know the one with full size Hersey bars...hmmm Hershey...(Editor’s note: my kids only got full sized candy bars. Talk about making bank. And yes, I steal some of it.)

To the Games!

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
#1 Alabama Mississippi State 11:00 AM Tuscaloosa, AL ESPN WatchESPN

A week ago this game would have looked like a giant waste of your time, but now, well with A&M going down to State last weekend, let’s start the insanity I say. It would be so SEC for Alabama after beating LSU in what has become the traditional boring low scoring NFC Central type of game to come out at home and somehow blow this. BLOW it BAMA, BLOW IT!

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. I mean State could do this right? And that’s why you watch it, ‘cause it could happen...But probably won’t. But still the other morning games are meh, so yeah, watch this.

kristina: Until ‘Bama actually loses, I really can’t pick against them. Hope Saban scared the hell out of some kids on his birthday.

Chris: State can’t do it again, not in Alabama, home of mud in the tires. But maybe it could, but it won’t. Bama’s going to get it done and that will be that.

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
Florida South Carolina 11:00 AM Gainesville, FL CBS CBS Video

It’s the Muschamp bowl! (No seriously, that’s what one site called it.) South Carolina is one victory away from being bowl eligible, y’all can thank us later for that. (Too soon?) Gator’s QB Austin Appleby probably is this season’s best SEC name. Too bad Dansby had to go pro.

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. It might be a good game, but it’s still way early and the odds don’t have it being “all” that close. Meh. What does Vegas know?

kristina: I picked Florida. I’m not entirely sure why. Then again, I say that for a lot of decisions. Hey, remember when we were in the title hunt? As we say, le sigh.

Chris: You know, this game is possibly for the SEC East Title...and that’s insanity! Not the Florida part because you know, maybe, but the SC part of things, I mean, how? But SC won’t get it done because they’re not playing Mizzou, and as such, they will lose to the Gators.

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
Tennessee Kentucky 11:00 AM Knoxville, TN SECNetwork WatchESPN

Another game with SEC East implications! Can you believe this? Kentucky has a chance. I mean if that doesn’t get Mark Stoops a statue, I don’t know what will. Also, will Tennessee finish this game with all their players as hoped? So much intrigue!

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. SEC East possibly on the line! How could you not watch? Set up three TVs and watch all three morning games. It’s a banner day in the SEC!

kristina: So this is this week’s meteor game? Can it end in a tie? (Not a serious question before someone not used to our not-so-serious banter.) Tennessee ‘cause I have to.

Chris: I just really want to see Tennessee lose, but Kentucky has basketball to worry about and they’re kind of a pain also. So...Tennessee because I think they’re better, but half the team transfers at the end of the third quarter.

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
Georgia #9 Auburn 2:30 PM Athens, GA CBS CBS Video

It’s the “Deep South’s oldest rivalry” game, not to be confused with just the “South’s oldest rivalry” game. Why doesn’t it seem Mizzou has names for all of our contests? SEC newbies I suppose. All the bourbon! Anything but that damn sweet tea. You don’t need a friggin’ cup o’ sugar per glass, okay y’all?

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 2. Doesn’t get a nice evening time slot, but with Georgia at home and just a 9.5 spread at publishing time, could be a good one.

kristina: Auburn. Don’t tell me this week we agree on all the games again. How am I suppose to gain anything like that.

Chris: Again, I ask you, how in the name of JackHurleyKateJinSunSayidSawyerLockeWaltMichaelShannonBooneCharlieBenLinusLAPIDUSandDesmond is Auburn in the Top 10? I mean, did Bill predict this? Someone check cause I don’t want to. Auburn is going to win because two mascots are better than one.

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
Missouri Vanderbilt 2:30 PM Columbia, MO SECNetwork WatchESPN

Well it’s game day in Columbia again and you’ve got to go, because you care and you’re a good fan. Also, there can be only one Black and Gold team in this conference and I’ll be damned if we give that title that weird basketball court, awesome home town people from the east. Anchor This!

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. It’s Mizzou, it’s in the afternoon and you hate, hate, hate those nerds from Vanderbilt, you just do.

kristina: Welp, Chris is the sunshine pumper for once. Sorry, but until we win, I just don’t have any confidence we can. Vanderbilt and their dumb court.

Chris: I got this feeling inside my bones, It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on
All through my city, all through my home
We're flying up, no ceiling, when we're in our zone, so Mizzou is gonna win. I threw your fellow Tennessean back at you Vanderbilt...I’M IN YOUR HEADS!!!!

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
#25 Arkansas #24 LSU 6:00 PM Fayetteville, AR ESPN WatchESPN

Even this one has a name. Battle for the Golden Boot, okay then. Yes we get it’s cause how the states look lined up, but still boring. Temps could get kind of cold, esp. for the LSU players. It’s November, guys, deal with it. All the writers mention LSU’s bad game vs. Alabama. Does someone actually have a good game against them?

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 2. Kind of depends if Mizzou won, but this should be a close one if you want to watch decent SEC teams play football. Again, too soon?

kristina: Ah yes, this week’s “really happy I text Chris my pics ‘cause I don’t remember” game. Turns out I said LSU. Ah right, ‘cause I hate Arky. Got it. The “moar coffee” thing apparently didn’t happen today.

Chris: You know, this game looks good, and there will probably be a lot of scoring because defense schmefense, but I still don’t love this game. You’re not pleasing me SEC West. I’ll take Arkansas because Bill Clinton needs something good this week.

Home Team Away Team Time Location TV Watch Online
#8 Texas A&M Ole Miss 6:30 PM College Station, TX SECNetwork WatchESPN

A&M, A&M, A&M...was it just a mirage? Were you a product of schedule just like those ridiculous Jayhawks in 2007? Is it just the month of November that is so bad to you? Are you a paper tiger? Or did you just say “F it” and bail? So many questions...

SEC Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. It’s the last game of the SEC day, so yeah, give it a go and have some Bourbon, I recommend Bulleit, it’ll get you all warm inside and drunk and loud outside.

kristina: A&M, though that didn’t work out so well for me last week. Guess the cowbell can get to your head.

Chris: Crazy Chad Kelly is broken physically, A&M is broken emotionally, who wins such a sad game? Well it’s obvious it’s A&M because you can play through a broken heart but you can’t win on a broken leg, you are no Byron Leftwich Ole Miss, don’t you dare imply that you are!


Now, let’s finalize those picks and see what we have...

Picker SEC Winners SEC Losers
Kristina Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, Auburn, Mizzou, Arkansas, Texas A&M Mississippi State, South Carolina, Kentucky, Georgia, Vanderbilt, LSU, Ole Miss
Chris Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, Auburn, Vanderbilt, LSU, Texas A&M Mississippi State, South Carolina, Kentucky, Georgia, Mizzou, Arkansas, Ole Miss

That’s that, have a great Saturday, enjoy the football, the basketball and hug your family, everyone loves a good hug...