clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

SEC Power Rankings: Cupcakes are tasty

There was really only one game of consequence in the SEC last weekend, but you can’t blame teams for scheduling cream-puffs. We all succumb to our sweet tooth every once in a while.

pimp my tide
Your overlord.

Things are pretty much set in stone at this point, so the annual SEC late-season bye week that isn’t a bye week didn’t need to tell us a whole lot about the state of the league.

  1. Alabama Crimson Tide - Alabama beat Chattanooga, which is a good team. No shade. Probably the best non-conference team anyone in the SEC played during cupcake week. Hell, they might even have a winning record in the SEC East this season.
  2. Florida Gators - UF delayed the LSU game until Ed Orgeron has used up all of his voodoo mana. Savvy move, fellas.
  3. Auburn Tigers - They threw 20 passes against Alabama A&M, which is essentially a loss and I won’t hear arguments to the contrary.
  4. LSU Tigers - LSU’s problem was letting Leonard Fournette get angry. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but he actually performs at a higher level when he’s in a good mood. Brutally murdering opposing defenses with a smile on his face is sort of his thing. He’s the happy hulk, and all the Tigers had against Florida last weekend was a grumpy Bruce Banner.
  5. Texas A&M Aggies - After being swept by the state of Mississippi, A&M didn’t exactly bounce back in a big way against UTSA. I wouldn’t worry too much, though. They were probably just coasting so they went into the matchup this weekend against LSU with all of their abilities off cool-down.
  6. Tennessee Volunteers - How very sporting of the Vols to let Mizzou dominate statistically while keeping the game out of reach. They get the win, and the Tigers don’t feel too bad. Just great sportsmanship.
  7. Arkansas Razorbacks - Bret Bielema is really doing all he can to buck the “Novembert” trend, huh? I guess if you aren’t going to make a run at the SEC West, taking a stand against labels isn’t a bad season goal.
  8. Georgia Bulldogs - Louisiana Lafayette is a feisty team with a great nickname and even better branding. There’s no shame in letting them hang around a bit. It should be expected, honestly.
  9. Vanderbilt Commodores - Kyle Shurmur is becoming quite the quarterback for Vandy, which means he’s destined to date an attractive public figure if the history of Jay Cutler and Jordan Rogers is any sort of indicator.
  10. Ole Miss Rebels - They’ve played well against the league’s best, and then fell flat against Vandy. Seems like the problem for the Rebels is that they’re only good when they’re drunk, and they only drink during big occasions.
  11. Kentucky Wildcats - Just try and stay safe this weekend, guys. Lamar Jackson is angry and your defense is the closest punchable object.
  12. South Carolina Gamecocks - Speaking of staying safe, you be careful too, Gamecocks. Just try not to make any sudden movements so Deshaun Watson doesn’t feel threatened.
  13. Mississippi State Bulldogs - The season has been a real pooper, but you have a chance to keep Ole Miss from becoming bowl eligible. That’s a mighty fine silver-lining, if you ask me.
  14. Missouri Tigers - [comment has been vacated by the NCAA]