Here at Rock M Nation, we've done extensive demographic research about just who it is that visits this fair site. Aside from finding a surprising amount of Taylor Swift fans (or "Swifties"), we've found that our audience does not have a great memory. So:
Hey! Remember a couple of weeks ago, when we all pledged money to MU Children's Hospital in connection with the Mizzou softball team's run through the Women's College World Series? We had some laughs, right!
Well, now it's time to pony up, friends.
The time has come for the best part of this whole thing: where we donate money to MU Children's Hospital!
If you forgot what you pledged (and based on our research, you unquestionably have), you can check the original post. For some reference on some common prop bets, here's a nice summary on how the Tigers did:
If you really need to get granular, here are the box scores for all the games:
So, add up all your degenerate wagers, and when you have your number, we can move on to this next big bold headline-type thing.
How To Donate
It could not be easier to donate. I'm trying to think of a way that this could realistically be easier and I cannot think of one. It is very, very, very easy to donate.
STEP 1: Click this link. Go ahead, do it. It's not like I'm trying to RickRoll you. But now I have you nervous about clicking the link, don't I?
But seriously, click that link. It'll take you to a specially made MU Health donation page that looks like this.
Ooooh fancy. Now we're ready for the second step, which I have named Step 2.
STEP 2: Type the amount of your donation in the box marked "Gift Amount." Then, click "Add to Basket."
Now I'm going to point something out here.
There are two additional elements here. One is a check-box that asks if you'd like to be listed as a contributor. You can absolutely click that if you'd like for people to know that you donated.
The box below that is incredibly dangerous. It is a box for comments. Meaning you can write a message to go along with your donation.
I urge you not to write in that box.
Nothing good can happen if you write in that box.
Please don't write in that box.
If you're going to write in that box, please write responsibly.
But please don't write in that box.
On to Step 3!
STEP 3: After you've clicked "Add to Basket", it'll ask you for your e-mail address. This is so they can send you a charity receipt via e-mail, because MU Health is a real live actual organization with real live actual adults working for them, unlike, say, this blog. Give them your e-mail address, and then click "Give Now."
STEP 4: Fill out the credit card page. You have successfully navigated to this website, so I am assuming this is not your first time on the Internet. As such, I am also assuming that you have purchased at least one (1) item online. This is exactly like that. Fill out the credit card page.
STEP 5: THERE IS NO STEP FIVE BECAUSE YOU ARE DONE!
I told you it was absurdly easy.
And now, we have to have an awkward talk. No, not that awkward talk. This one:
So You're Thinking About Backing Out On Your Pledge...
Alright, friend. May I call you friend? No? Alright, friend.
A couple of weeks ago, you made a pledge in an Internet comments section. I'm going to be frank with you: if you don't make good on your pledge, you probably will get away with it. Nobody's coming to knock on your door and demand your money. This is the Internet Honor System at its very purest.
All I'm going to ask you to do is remember that these are sick kids. SICK KIDS. Sick kids have about a 105-percent approval rating. Everyone likes sick kids. You know your cranky neighbor who doesn't like anyone? He likes sick kids.
The folks at MU Children's Hospital do a tremendous job turning Sick Kids into Not Sick Kids. So if you're going to back out on your pledge, just remember that by doing so, you are directly hurting their ability to do that.
(On the other hand, if you are feeling particularly generous, by all means, feel free to donate more than you pledged. That'd be pretty rad.)
And if not for the sick kids, do it for the Mizzou softball team. They were awesome, and they busted their butt to make you pay up. Do it for them.
And if not for the Mizzou softball team, do it as a personal favor to me, your friend from the Internet.
And if not for me, do it for the sick kids. Did I mention this is for sick kids?
Hey, pay when you can, I don't want to stop you from donating if you've happened to stumble across this humble webpage 50 years in the future — IS IT AWESOME? DO WE HAVE HOVERBOARDS LIKE IN "BACK TO THE FUTURE 2"? — so go right ahead.
But seriously: let's set a rough deadline of the end of the week so we can see that sweet, sweet progress bar start taking off.
Pop in the comments, and we'll answer them the best we can.
Love you, mean it. Go #TremendousStubble.