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Rubbing is Racing: Previewing College Football's Week 2 at NASCAR speeds

We're back with our Lazy Fan's Guide to week 2 of the college football season.


Like basketball games on aircraft carriers that have to be canceled due to condensation, a football game on the infield of a NASCAR track is far more exciting on paper than in real life. It's literally a game in a field, that's further to see than being at home. The chance of a NASCAR fan crashing their RV into a goalpost is better than you think. Plus, just watching cars make left turns is kind of boring so it needed something new. We'll wait for the NASCAR fans to argue and yell, but hell, that means you at least made it this far into our wonderful article and apparently that's the point of all of this. VIEWER STATS!!

Best GameTennessee vs Virginia Tech at the Bristol Motor Speedway

GAME AT THE RACE TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like Kentucky mentioned in week 1, Tennessee has been knocking on the door ready to take over the SEC East (and the conference according to their fans) for years now, but this is the year people. Because if Butch Jones doesn't get it done, there's gonna be a riot in Knoxville and all the Voluntears will flow. Justin Fuente takes over for Frank Beamer at VaTech and were he to get this first win under his belt, well, good things for the maroon clad people that worship a turkey (note: turkeys are best cooked and served as dinner) that looks a bit like a WKU Hilltopper gone wrong.  Will the sandman enter to some jangling keys?

Others in consideration:

Washington State at Boise State
  • Blue turf, two teams that score a boat load of points, the pirate in charge? What's not to love?! Seriously this game is going to be decided in the 40s, so strap in and marvel at the beauty that is that smurf blood covered field. They need to up their game and really make it day-glo or something.
Texas Tech vs Arizona State
  • Like the Boise State game this match-up should feature a ton of points. Patrick Mahomes has been learning under Kliff Kingsbury for a year now so you can expect he'll throw for 100,00 yards this season and this game that's taking place in Sun Devil stadium which is always tricky for Big 12 teams. Luckily, ASU doesn't have an 8 foot tall QB...
Game with Playoff ImplicationsTCU vs Arkansas

Much like what's been going on at Tennessee and to a lesser extent Kentucky, Arkansas has, since the Kool Aid Man took over as Head Coach, been knocking on the door ready to take on the heavyweights of the SEC West. And to date they've not made the jump. This match-up with TCU should provide the Hogs to get a signature win on the road against another Power 5 team that could have a say in the Big 12 title race...or they could blow it and do that thing they do where they look crappy for half the year then put it all together when it's too late.

Best Game involving MizzouMizzou vs Eastern Michigan

Eastern Michigan comes rolling into CoMo under the lights for the Tigers' first game at home this season. This is a team that had one win last year, and has been to one bowl game in it's history, so watch this game be close at halftime and see us all completely lose our collective minds, kind of like the Arky lite game a year or so ago, yes we could look up the date, but ahem, LAZY.  Good times being a Mizzou fan, GOOD TIMES!

Best Game involving a Non Mizzou SEC TeamKentucky vs Florida

Was Florida's 2015 season the real deal? Were they a product of the fact that Tennessee wasn't quite ready for the hype and Mizzou and Georgia literally couldn't move the ball forward? Or was this a sign of things to come in the land of the Jort? Either way, this early test should tell us more than their first week game against UMass. Come out looking strong and competent on offense and the division could become a two way race, fight to a 0-0 end of regulation Va Tech - Wake game and last year could be more of a mirage.

Worst Game involving a Power 5 Team they should be Embarrassed AboutTexas A&M vs Prairie View A&M

The one thing this game has going for it is that we get to see two sets of agriculturalists and miners play football, except one is miles better. If you watch this game by choice I assume you've got money on it or every channel you had on your device broke except this one. It's like really awful pizza, but yet, it's still pizza. At two am when you're drunk, it's edible, folks.

SEC Team Most Likely to Go DownVanderbilt vs Middle Tennessee State

Did you see Derek Mason's fancy "Anchor Down" coat at Media Days, wow, that was something. And it's probably the most exciting thing to happen to Vandy this year. MTSU won the Popeye's Bahamas Bowl last year so they're sneaky good and in game two of the season the Fancy Pirates (yeah that's gonna be a thing again this year) they're gonna take a loss, book it.

Will Kansas Win this Week: A game against Ohio, you must be outside your mind! Which happens first, it snows or Kansas wins, take your pick.

And that will do it for the first fortnight of the 2016 season, hopefully you dig this series. If there's something else you'd like to see give us a shout!