Week 4: “THE LEAVES ARE FALLING AND IT’S COOL AND NO MORE SUMMER!!!”
We’ve entered the part of the season where things have turned to what people would dub actual football weather. Leaves are changing color, people are needing pants or sweaters and relishing these moments not even thinking about the horror of winter that awaits them. These two or so weeks of the year is when people cease to complain about the weather and just enjoy it…sadly by mid October they’re back on Facebook whining about how cold it is and how they have to wear socks with their shoes…essentially they’re Auburn fans.
Best Game: Wisconsin vs Michigan State
Wow, another B1G game in the best game column. Perhaps we have a case of PESD here in Lazy Fan central (remember kids, central time is best), that’s Post Expansionpalooza Stress Disorder for those not in the know. It’s something you live with constantly in the Big 12 and at such fine and long reaching institutions as Memphis, Cincinnati, UConn, BYU and pretty much any Texas or Florida school not currently in the Power 5. Anyway, this Big 10 game has got potential to be good. So fire up your grill, throw some beer dipped brats on there and know that Barry Alvarez probably hates Nevin Shapiro as much as you hate Frank Haith…for whatever reason that may be. Just as long as Wisconsin’s football team has better uniforms than their basketball team though. Hideous!
Others in consideration:
Georgia vs Ole Miss
Listen, someone has to win the east of the SEC and while many are very excited about that being Tennessee, we here at the Lazy Fan’s Guide would really prefer it not be UT. Not them, anyone else but them. Hell, let Vandy have a chance. But if anyone is to take down the juggernaut (according to their fan sites) that is the Orange Menace, it could be Georgia who has the greatest incoming Quarterback of all time. Getting a win over Ole Miss would be a good first step towards showing that the Dawgs (ugh, only the Geaux Tigers is WAY worse) are on the upswing and could be a relevant threat in the East, because let’s be real, Florida can’t throw the ball and we’ve seen what a team that can’t throw the ball but has a great defense can do, 5-7, 1-7 in the SEC…it’s not pretty! Too soon?
Penn State vs Michigan
I don’t love this game, but you’ve got Penn State with a brand new (day glo purple) locker room taking on crazy ass Jim Harbaugh and new Michigan uniforms sponsored by his airness himself. Because when I think Michael Jordan, I think Michigan! The hoopla over uniforms is so silly. Just play the damn game. This has got to be some sort of way to continue punishing Chris Webber I imagine, aside from forcing him to hang out Reggie Miller for hours on end. I mean, we can make fun of people still right? Seriously, keep track of the timeouts, y’all.
Duke vs Notre Dame
kristina often talks about meteor games (WDWWD!), and typically they’re between two storied teams that have hyped up fanbases that can bring it week in and week out...then there’s Duke and Notre Dame. Two teams with large fan-bases consisting of people who probably have never stepped foot on either campus with their only connection being they either saw Rudy, or had a Christian Laettner shirsey. Will the Duke or Notre Dame fans who have taken a class on campus please stand up? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? (We’ll just sit here and wait with a Snickers)
Game with Playoff Implications: LSU vs Auburn
LSU is going to put it all together this year. Leonard Fournette is required to be back and should be going full steam by week 4, looking to solidify his Heisman trophy and not pull a Jadaveon Clowney, hiding from any effort required of him before the draft. And if he wants to get drafted in round 1 and ruined by the 49ers he’s going to have to go all out. Auburn for their part are playing to save Gus’ job, hopefully their eagle doesn’t fly away. This rivalry (uh, is it one?) doesn’t have a name? They need to get on top of that, how boring.
Others in consideration: Florida vs Tennessee
In all likelihood the SEC east runs through these two chuckleheads. And with that a chance to take on ‘Bama (if they can beat Ole Miss, not even close to a sure thing) in Atlanta to then go to the College Football Playoff and make their delirious fans even more insufferable. Gator chomp! I will say though Tennessee fans can certainly put down their booze.
Best Game involving Mizzou: Mizzou vs Delaware State
This is where being in the SEC sucks, just s-u-ck-s, SUCKS (thanks Mizzou degree). You go from playing WVU to playing Eastern Michigan to playing Georgia to this…Delaware State. I’m honestly surprised they have a logo, and hornets are jerks just in general. Man…I wish Joe Biden would come to this game…driving up to Faurot in his white Trans Am, doing donuts in the parking lot and passing out Miller High Life to all the ladies that come by as he rocks out to a little Jethro Tull. Honestly, this is how I feel about this game. Oh, and one of their rivals is a nice little college from a town in Virginia that we don’t speak of around these parts. NOPE.
Best Game involving a Non Mizzou SEC Team: Arkansas vs Texas A&M
Look at new Kyle Field, it’s HUGE! Too bad this game is being played somewhere Huger, JERRY WORLD!!!! If the promise of Arkansas is to come to fruition and the demise of Kevin Sumlin complete, the Hogs will have to win this game and if they do, this guy will be so damn happy. Let that shirt fly big man, let it fly… Clearly Chris is on par with my kids on making huger and gooder actual words. Can’t be a parent until “‘cause it is” is your standard response to the million questions you’re asked in a day.
Worst Game involving a Power 5 Team they should be Embarrassed About: Mississippi State vs UMass
Ooooooooooh, UMass! The post Dak Prescott years are a dark time friends. Mississippi State will soon fall back into oblivion and be a mere afterthought (what, no more cowbell?), but hey, the basketball team has Ben Howland. Seriously though, UMass, I mean…come on…even google thinks you’re just a basketball school, and when is google ever wrong?
SEC Team Most Likely to Go Down: Vanderbilt vs Western Kentucky
Vanderbilt stinks and they have no offense. Western Kentucky has a big red blob of a mascot nightmare. That’s certainly more interesting than whatever Vanderbilt’s throwing at you. The Hilltoppers have taken down SEC teams before, this week will be no different. Not to mention we love Western Kentucky for this.
Will Kansas win this Week: They play BYE and BYE is always undefeated, so no, also, have fun getting that song out of your head. YOU’RE WELCOME!
That will lock it down for week 4. Come back next week for more thrills, spills and hijinks.