Pregamin' West Virginia

Jack Peglow

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#ShowMe ➡➡ ❄Icy❄ for #MIZvsWVU#ToughnessWins pic.twitter.com/h1hL1oTR7R

— Mizzou Football (@MizzouFootball) September 2, 2016

1. West Virginia was so kind as to fill one of the vacancies in the Big 12, Mizzou's former conference. if you could give Mountaineer fans one piece of advice for living in the conference, what would it be?

Chris Bohkay - Keep an eye on your wallet and make sure you've always got a camera pointed on all doors, just in case. Oh, and put all your conference logos in erasable ink.

jaeger - Everyone in the Big 12 knows to hate Texas, but often, during football season, we forget to hate another important target: Kansas. My advice is: don't let your football pity cloud your hate. Always remember to hate Kansas.

Jack Peglow - It may be too late for the current regime, but you should really invest in that defense. The Big 12 is all about offense, so a team that can shut offenses down will absolutely wreck shop. Plus, not focusing on your offense won't be a large issue. There are only a few defenses in the conference that can stop anyone, you'll be fine.

Oscar Gamble - Don't buy, rent.

AlaTiger - the first step is to remember to bow and scrape to your endlessly egotistical orange-horned overlords at all times. The second step is to recognize that despite their protests otherwise, Oklahoma is simply a poorer, smaller, more northerly Texas wannabe. The final step is, of course, to perpetually despise the mythical birds to the west.

Switzy227 - Be nice to Iowa State. They never hurt anyone. (editor's note: HA!)

Chris L. Turner - Find a good barbecue place and love it dearly. it will never disappoint you, unlike Kansas football.

Sam Snelling - Don't worry, we'll probably add you to the SEC or maybe you'll get an ACC invite when this is all said and done with. You won't have to suffer long in that god-forsaken league.

Josh Matejka - Drive around - not through - Oklahoma and Kansas if you can.

2. What do you need to see from the offense within the first few drives to shake the remnant dread carried over from last season?

Bohkay - Multiple first downs, and a real scoring chance. Not some enormous field goal, a red zone situation. Also, a pulse.

jaeger - I mean, a touchdown wouldn't hurt. But I'd like to see a bruising, 4-5 yard run from Alex Ross (or Ish Witter, for that matter) and for Drew Lock and one of the receivers to hit on a timing pattern. Show me some of that efficiency offense, please.

Peglow - I just want to find some synergy. The offensive line should be somewhat cohesive, the receivers are remembering their routes, Drew stays on his feet. That kind of stuff. The results come after that.

Gamble - Forward progress.

AlaTiger - Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency. Show me some reasonable success rates both running and passing. Some nice gashing inside runs on first down would be viscerally satisfying, as would some nice catch-and-run action from the slot receivers.

Switzy227 - First downs. Multiple, consecutive, and achieved via both run and pass. Even one stalled drive will be fine so long as it's after three or four firsts.

Turner - First downs, first downs, and first downs. If I can see the offense at least moving the ball with some efficiency Saturday, I'll be fine.

Snelling - More than three downs. Unless they're all touchdowns.

Matejka - Some first downs, extended drives, and a touchdown or two would be nice. But I wouldn't say no to a 10-yard Tucker McCann field goal.

3. If you were stranded in the mountains of West Virginia and you could bring one current player along with you, who would it be and how would they help you survive?

Bohkay - I'm gonna say Luke Jackson, the new kicker, in case we get attacked by wildlife. Kickers can kick the sh*t out of some things!

jaeger - Cale Carrett. Why? SKITTLES.

Peglow - Give me Sean Culkin. He's big, strong, and fast, what more do I need? If needed, we can use some of his glorious, flowing locks to make rope. Plus, he's a wonderfully attractive human, so it'll be nice to have some company that's easy on the eyes.

Gamble - Michael Scherer.

AlaTiger - Charles Harris. he could sweet talk anybody into helping us, and whop ass if the need arose.

Switzy227 - Either Terry Beckner Jr., because he seems like a wonderfully capable bodyguard, or Samson Bailey because he looks most capable of passing for a local (stereotyping!).

Turner - Josh Augusta. He's 1v1'ing a grizzly bear near a river as we hunt for food.

Snelling - If your answer isn't the man with a nickname like Juggernaut, I don't know what to tell you.

Matejka - Since bison, elk, and gray wolves are no longer a part of the native fauna (thanks, Google!), I'm most worried about boars and coyotes. Give me someone agile, but strong like Charels Harris to halp me catch dinner and generally stay alive.