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The Weekly Primer loves Nick Chubb, Steve Spurrier and all these talented young QBs

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Here is your Weekly Primer on the college football week ahead, with a particular focus on Mizzou, SEC, and the games that must command the eyeballs of discerning fans of our dumb sport.

Georgia v North Carolina Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

Mizzou Talking Points Walkthrough

The first home game of the Barry Odom Era is a cupcake following a loss. A rather lopsided loss (against a quality-ish opponent, sure, but still: a loss), and a loss that showed us some potential weak spots in Missouri’s roster and scheme.

The final score matters less against Eastern Michigan than the eye test. Right now, the doomsday prophets among us are already preparing the sandwich boards: The End Is Nigh! Use A Real Nickelback On Slot Receivers! Global Warming Is Real! Josh Heupel Has No Feel For The Game! D-Line Zou is Over!

After Week 1, a lot of talking points were aimed at the dartboard. A cupcake game provides the chance for a few of these darts to find a bullseye.

My prediction: Missouri makes progress in the running game, Josh Heupel strikes a balance between his two precocious signal callers, and adjustments are made in the secondary rotation to cover slot threats more effectively. However, all hell breaks loose after another poor showing by the defensive line, a previously assumed strength. Prepare for end times.

A Few Words of Affection, Carefully Chosen

Nick Chubb, you are great. You were born and raised in a unique slice of Americana. As a young adult, you have carved out your own legacy in another small slice of Americana, the dominant Georgia Bulldog running back. The names ring out: Herschel Walker, Garrison Hearst, Knowshon Moreno, Todd Gurley. Your staccato moniker will soon join them.

Last season, a knee injury injury cost you the entire second half of the season, and a chance to vault your name higher on the school and conference record books. You returned fully healthy this season, as evidenced by a staggering 32 totes in Week 1 against North Carolina; the last of these was a classic Nick Chubb run, a 55 yard run that put the game on ice.

Nick, I am not sure how to describe that run. Was it an explosion? I hesitate to use that term, as it recalls what happened to your knee ten short months ago. Was it a scamper? No, it was too straight-ahead to be a scamper.

Great running backs demand great similes. Some of your peers are battering rams. They can be darts, or arrows, or bowling bowls. Allow me to posit: you are a skee-ball. Your highlight runs begin with promise as you explore your lanes, then a sudden acceleration, a takeoff, and the scoreboard lights up.

Welcome back, Nick. I wish you nothing but full health and many skee-ball-ish runs. Thanks for making our sport better, and best of luck to you every week except for one.

Keegs Poll: Top 5 Games of the Week

Woof, Week 2. This slate is so thin I am not even going to do a proper top 5. You know things are tough when a sizable portion of the matchups feature schools that are also a name (Troy, Mercer, Lamar, Nicholls). And who could forget “El Assico”?

The best games of the week are Virginia Tech vs Tennessee and Arkansas vs TCU. The worst games of the week are all of the rest of them. Run some errands, or something. Build a treehouse that your awful kids can play in for ten hours next week, because week 3 is a BONANZA.

National Talking Points Walkthrough

A few stories emerged after an action-packed Week 1. A handful of marquee games lived up to their top-billed status with absolutely bonkers football. The SEC is total trash, apparently, and it’s over, and it should be folded up and disbanded; the SEC is bad and it should feel bad. And Steve Spurrier did this:

(I would watch a 30 for 30 about that Vine. I have so many questions: why is he wearing a whistle? Do you think Spurrier is a big Usain Bolt fan, or does he root for Americans? How good would Usain Bolt have been in the 90’s Spurrier Fun N Gun? Where did he get that badass t-shirt, and how can I get one?)

Week 1 also saw the emergence of freshmen quarterbacks. In a sport with head coaches slavishly dedicated to conservative, risk-averse decision making, and at a position which has typically demanded years of attendant understudy: this instant talent influx is an unexpected boon.

Not that our dumb sport was hurting for high level hurlers. Deshaun Watson is a true superstar, UCLA’s Josh Rosen is billed as a future NFL fixture, and J.T. Barrett, Baker Mayfield, Chad Kelly and others are high level performers at marquee programs. But a new bumper crop of passers has emerged, and that is a problem for two distinct groups: college football defensive coordinators, and the discerning channel-surfer trying to cram as much entertaining football into a Saturday as possible.

As stated above, this week is lacking for high profile matchups, but you can catch Alabama’s Jalen Hurts against the basketball-on-grass Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky, in the midday slot. Other freshmen that will demand your attention this season are Texas’s Shane Beuchele, Florida State’s Deondre Francois, Georgia’s Jacob Eason. Please enjoy responsibly.

Full Week 2 Schedule

Friday, Sept. 9, 2016
Matchup Time (ET) TV / Online
Maryland at FIU 7:30 pm CBSSN / CBSSports.com
(13) Louisville at Syracuse 8:00 pm ESPN2 / WatchESPN
Saturday, Sept. 10, 2016
Matchup Time (ET) TV / Online
Penn State at Pittsburgh Noon ESPN / WatchESPN
UCF at (5) Michigan Noon ABC / WatchESPN
Central Michigan at (22) Oklahoma State Noon FS1 / FS Go
Lamar at (6) Houston Noon ASN / WatchESPN
Nicholls State at (9) Georgia Noon SECN / WatchESPN
Prairie View A&M at (20) Texas A&M Noon SECN Alt. / WatchESPN
Wyoming at Nebraska Noon ESPN2 / WatchESPN
NC State at East Carolina Noon ESPNU / WatchESPN
Cincinnati at Purdue Noon BTN / BTN2Go
Boston College at UMass Noon ASN/SNY / WatchESPN
Rice at Army Noon CBSSN / CBSSports.com
Howard at Rutgers Noon BTN / BTN2Go
Indiana State at Minnesota Noon ESPNEWS / WatchESPN
Troy at (2) Clemson 12:30 pm ACCN / WatchESPN
Charleston Southern at (3) Florida State 12:30 pm FSN Affiliates / ACC-RSN / WatchESPN
Stony Brook at Temple 1:00 pm WatchESPN
Utah State at USC 2:00 pm Pac-12N / Pac-12.com
Youngstown State at West Virginia 2:00 pm ROOT SPORTS
Georgia State at Air Force 2:00 pm MWN
Ohio at Kansas 2:30 pm FSN / FS Go
Mercer at Georgia Tech 3:00 pm ACCNExtra / WatchESPN
Western Kentucky at (1) Alabama 3:30 pm ESPN2 / WatchESPN
Tulsa at (4) Ohio State 3:30 pm ABC / WatchESPN
Akron at (10) Wisconsin 3:30 pm BTN / BTN2Go
Nevada at (18) Notre Dame 3:30 pm NBC / NBCSports.com
SMU at (23) Baylor 3:30 pm FS1 / FS Go
Kentucky at Florida 3:30 pm CBS / CBSSports.com
Wake Forest at Duke 3:30 pm ESPNU / WatchESPN
UConn at Navy 3:30 pm CBSSN / CBSSports.com
Illinois State at Northwestern 3:30 pm BTN / BTN2Go
North Dakota at Bowling Green 3:30 pm ASN/ALT / WatchESPN
Eastern Illinois at Miami (OH) 3:30 pm WatchESPN
Old Dominion at Appalachian State 3:30 pm ASN / WatchESPN
Wofford at (19) Ole Miss 4:00 pm SECN / WatchESPN
Ball State at Indiana 4:00 pm ESPNEWS / WatchESPN
Middle Tennessee at Vanderbilt 4:00 pm SECN Alt. / WatchESPN
UTSA at Colorado State 4:00 pm MWN
Portland State at San Jose State 4:30 pm Not Televised
Idaho at (8) Washington 5:00 pm Pac-12N / Pac-12.com
Idaho State at Colorado 5:30 pm Pac-12N / Pac-12.com
Elon at Charlotte 6:00 pm C-USA.tv
Florida Atlantic at (25) Miami (FL) 6:00 pm ACCNExtra / WatchESPN
Morgan State at Marshall 6:00 pm beIN SPORTS / Stream
North Carolina A&T at Kent State 6:00 pm WatchESPN
Arkansas at (15) TCU 7:00 pm ESPN / WatchESPN
UTEP at (11) Texas 7:00 pm LHN / WatchESPN
ULM at (14) Oklahoma 7:00 pm PPV
South Carolina at Mississippi State 7:00 pm ESPN2 / WatchESPN
Northern Illinois at USF 7:00 pm CBSSN / CBSSports.com
Bethune Cookman at North Texas 7:00 pm C-USA.tv
Maine at Toledo 7:00 pm WatchESPN
Georgia Southern at South Alabama 7:00 pm ASN / WatchESPN
McNeese State at UL Lafayette 7:00 pm WatchESPN
NC Central at Western Michigan 7:00 pm WatchESPN
Savannah State at Southern Miss 7:00 pm TBA
SC State at Louisiana Tech 7:00 pm C-USA.tv
Iowa State at (16) Iowa 7:30 pm BTN / BTN2Go
Jacksonville State at (21) LSU 7:30 pm ESPNU / WatchESPN
Arkansas State at Auburn 7:30 pm SECN / WatchESPN
BYU at Utah 7:30 pm FOX / FS Go
Eastern Michigan at Missouri 7:30 pm SECN Alt. / WatchESPN
North Carolina at Illinois 7:30 pm BTN / BTN2Go
New Mexico at New Mexico State 8:00 pm AggieVision / WatchESPN
Southern at Tulane 8:00 pm WatchESPN
(17) Tennessee vs. Virginia Tech (at Bristol Motor Speedway) 8:00 pm ABC / WatchESPN
UNLV at UCLA 8:00 pm Pac-12N / Pac-12.com
Sacramento State at Fresno State 10:00 pm TBA
Texas Tech at Arizona State 10:00 pm FS1 / FS Go
Washington State at Boise State 10:15 pm ESPN2 / WatchESPN
Virginia at (24) Oregon 10:30 pm ESPN / WatchESPN
California at San Diego State 10:30 pm CBSSN / CBSSports.com
Grambling State at Arizona 10:45 pm Pac-12N / Pac-12.com
UT Martin at Hawaii 12:00 a.m. OceanicPPV