The Lazy Fan’s Guide to Week 13 of the SEC

Last week was, overall, not the most exciting week of football possible in the SEC, but for the Tiger faithful of the Missouri kind, it was an unexpected (if you’d asked them in early October) trip back to Bowl Season. While we don’t know where Mizzou will end up, we do know they will be playing in the post season and that they will be doing their best to represent the primary ideal of the SEC on the whole (no, not it meaning more), the absolute destruction of a foe from a lesser conference.

That said, kristina and I had another good week of picking games.

Let’s see how we did…

I’m not saying we’re money in the bank, but we’re money in the bank. Maybe that has to do with the sheer volume of easy games this past weekend, but on the whole, for the season we’re taking care of business.

This week’s matchups certainly provide some more intrigue with plenty of in conference rivalries to discuss and some out of conference games against actual name schools that are not of the directional variety just passing through to get paid.

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, we thought we’d offer a turkey day food pairing for each game so you knew what to eat with what.

To the games! (Editor’s note - writing this after hearing about “the news” to our basketball team, well, kind of sucked. Apologies if it’s not as entertaining, but then again, we never promised anything but laziness!)

A few years ago when Dak was still in school, this game was good. That was also the year when maybe one of these two squads would supplant Bama in the SEC championship game, not so much, but still this was fun. This game, this Thanksgiving night will be a little different, but it’s still better than the NFL. Seriously, Washington and Dallas from the worst stadium in the country? No thanks.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 2! College football is better than the pro version, so watch this instead, it’s the SEC on Thursday night, and there should be a song to match.

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Apple pie? I don’t know, it’s traditional, people like it, I don’t so yeah, let’s roll with that.

kristina: Man, we’re both anti-apple pie, that should go over well! Have to go with State, sorry Ole Miss, but you let me down last week. I’d much rather watch college ball on Turkey day versus the NFL, but alas, no cable. Not to mention usually some silly dog show is on at the in-laws.

Chris: So, State all the way. And I really hope that the game is close however, just to keep my interest, otherwise, Bondathon, which while no longer a thing on TV, I make a thing at my place.

Who wants a repeat of last year? (Uh, who doesn’t?) We’re already going bowling, basketball, well, let’s not go there, so good thing we’re still kind of a football school. Possibly two road wins in a row? Craziness! Enjoy the game with whatever leftovers you’ve managed to find. Apparently “Bert” is on the hot seat, but hey, not like we were asked to edit the pregame notes.

Scale of Watchability: You know the game now, it’s our Tigers, so DEFCON 1. Down with the hogs! Mmmm..............bacon. Makes everything taste better, except for fruitcake. Nothing can help with that.

Paired Thanksgiving food: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Turkey, of course, it’s the main dish! Just don’t dry that sucker out. Dry turkey is awful, just douse that stuff in gravy.

kristina: I’ll cross my fingers to see at least a little bit of this one, but Mizzou, of course. Floyd runs another one back, Beckner is awesome, and we win. Let’s get another coach fired. Even better, let’s get him fired by halftime.

Chris: You’ve got me Mizzou, I’m all in. We’re going to Arkansas and we’re coming back from a W. I’m on Beisel watch, the man that can make a rivalry interesting. Hopefully we can Butch Bert get that Liberty Bowl invite.

So, they blew up the Georgia Dome. Did you see that? Yup, just imploded it on a Sunday. Good bye little Dome, it was nice knowing you, even if you were not the kindest to Mizzou football. But hey, better to have not been kind, then to never have been, right Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Mississippi State and Ole Miss?

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. All the nooners aren’t great, but hey, triple option, AMIRITE?

Paired Thanksgiving Food: This would be the crudites your mom serves that keeps you sated before the meal. Get me some veggies and a glass of Champagne and away we go.

kristina: Georgia. There will be at least some sort of dip for these veggies, no? And anything besides plain ole’ ranch, how boring.

Chris: Georgia, maybe you can take something from this game against your rival and use it against Bama next weekend? ‘Cause you’ve got to figure something out. Dawgs all day son, all day.

So it’s been a very long time, try 1959, since both teams come into this game with a losing record, but rivalries are rivalries, so bragging rights are still a thing. Side note, last time the Gators won this one was in 2012, so unless they can pull off the victory, that’s an entire class that’s gone four years losing to FSU. Aren’t stats fun? And no, Puma doesn’t endorse us at all.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. It hopefully is close, it’s the better option, and it beats putting up Christmas decorations. It’s not December yet, kids, slow your role.

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Stuffing. It’s nothing to write home about, but you know you’re going to at least have a little of it. [Editor’s Note: Stuffing is the best part, according to CB...damn kristina!!!]

kristina: Well, I didn’t like my Florida pick last week and that turned out to be no problem, so we’ll try it again, and most likely it will fail. Gators. Regular run of the mill stuffing is MEH. Maybe some California champagne would help make it better?

Chris: Both teams aren’t good or great, but at least FSU has an excuse, their QB was taken out by Bama in week 1. But I still like them better than the Gators who just look flimsy. The only thing they have going for them appears to be the kicking game, and that, as Mizzou fans know, is nothing to get excited about.

On December 29^th, these two teams will play in basketball and that’s really quite interesting. What’s happening this day, less so. I guess the question is, does Bobby Petrino stick it out or is he on the road back to Arkansas? Really, this game is not that great.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 4. At least it’s between power 5 conference schools, and that is something.

Paired Thanskgiving Food: Green beans or Creamed Corn straight out the can. I don’t know if this is common, but if it is, it’s a terrible trend. Canned vegetables are awful and should be blown into space.

kristina: Does home canning count though? Veggie #hottaeks. Ah yes, the match-up that I have to actually revisit our picks ‘cause I don’t remember it at all. Louisville, ‘cause, well, we beat Kentucky? Logic’s not the strong suit here.

Chris: I’m taking Louisville because I have an irrational dislike of Kentucky football at the moment. You Wildcats should not be allowed to have a better record than Mizzou. I hate this so much. Certain realities I can abide, but this, this my friends I just cannot. Wake me up when we’re back on top of them.

Seriously, clean off your slate, ‘cause this should be a good one. One of the most hyped up Iron bowls ever. Winner gets the SEC West and probably makes the playoffs, not too shabby of a day at all. Maybe we’ll have another crazy “kick six” ending, that was entertaining. Speaking of which, if it’s true Kiffin still has a video of Saban dancing at one of his karaoke parties, yeah, he needs to post that.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 2, just because 1 is reserved for our game, ‘cause we can. But watch this one.

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Those last few bites, where you just mix everything together and it’s amazing.

kristina: As has been said, ‘Bama until they lose. But uh, have fun with either one of these, Georgia. (And we’ll feel your pain.) I shall be sans everyone at this point, so yeah, going to watch this one.

Chris: Best game of the weekend. I am juiced up for this game and I imagine every other college football fan is as well. I’m taking ‘Bama but would not hate an upset. I mean, Bama has been dominant all year, except that State game...maybe Auburn has a chance...nope, Bama, but let’s hope it’s one to remember.

The winner of this can claim they are the best team from Tennessee in the SEC, and that’s about it. Will John Gruden be sighted in a press box glad handing and bringing Tee Martin with him? I don’t know! One of these teams is going to win this game and in the process get their first SEC win of the season…better late than never.

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 5. If you’re watching this instead of the Iron Bowl there is something wrong with you.

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Mashed Potatoes. I hate mashed potatoes, they are gross and make me sick. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but deal with it. They’re gross, just like this game.

kristina: I am still protesting this game, as I was denied picking the meteor. But you have to get mashed potatoes just so you can make a gravy lake. You’re not thanksgiving it correctly if there’s no stinking gravy lake. Uh, Vanderbilt ‘cause we beat them by more and the #voluntears meme must continue.

Chris: It’s a home game for Tennessee, and I think the Champions of Life will get it done. Garbage can celebrations belong in the garbage, with both of these teams.

So South Carolina’s just hoping to not have a repeat of last year’s blowout, and Clemson needs the win to stay in the playoff talk. As well, SC is still not thrilled with the ending of last year’s game, insert the #disrespect meme here. “Never again” has been their sort of rallying phrase since last year’s loss (hey, like our reconcile by winning, that can work again, right?)

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3. Kind of a give it the first quarter or so?

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Pumpkin pie. Yeah, it’d might be your favorite, but it’s even now just sold in a big can as “pumpkin pie filling.” That’s, well, just lazy, even for us.

kristina: Clemson. And agreed, at least make it watchable. Though by this time on a Saturday, there’s at least other options if it’s not. I mean, hell, there’s a CSI Miami marathon on all time time lately.

Chris: Just another step along the way towards the ACC championship and the playoffs for the Clemson Tigers. South Carolina, make it a good game, ok? I mean you don’t want to go out getting destroyed by your state mates, right?

This is the new rivalry we’ve been talking about since the SEC expanded to 14 teams. A&M wishes they were playing Texas, LSU wishes they were playing Arkansas like they used to, maybe? Anyway, this is the manufactured rivalry that LSU despises so that makes this game all that more funny!

Scale of Watchability: Defcon 3! It’s not bad, it’s not great, but hey, it’s college football under the lights of Louisiana where the Tigers only lose if they’re playing Troy.

Paired Thanksgiving Food: Cranberry Sauce, but the canned kind. There’s nothing better than that jiggly fruity jelly sauce falling out of that can onto a fancy plate. Just wobbling there, tempting you…

kristina: Anything that retains the can ridges for that long scares me. LSU.

Chris: LSU gets the W and then we go on Sumlin watch. Ed O stays in the job he’s not the least bit qualified for and we get to do the angry LSU fan thing again next year!

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That will close out this early week, let’s see who we’ve got doing what to whom.

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And that’s it LFG fans, we’ve made it through another season of SEC on SEC on directional college football. It’s been fun and we thank you for reading! We’ll be back next week picking championship games for you so we can see just how little or how much we truly know.

Hope you have a terrific Thanksgiving holiday and we are of course thankful for you!