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So You Weren’t Invited to the SEC – Big 12 Challenge…Again.

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New year, newly not invited, new ideas

A little less than a year ago in this space, I wrote about the fact that former Big 12 member and current SEC member, the University of Missouri was snubbed for the second consecutive year from participation in the yearly cross conference SEC-Big 12 challenge.

In that space I laid out a plethora of options for Mizzou to fill that spot in their schedule while still giving us, the fans some entertaining basketball while the rest of the SEC participated in games with those cowards from the Mid West…and West Virginia. The options ranged from the possible (SEC – Almost Big 12 Challenge), the laughable (rejoining the Big 12 or rehiring Frank Haith) and to the impossible (the mini SEC-Big 10-Pac 12 challenge), all great, and all IGNORED!

Since the printing of the original article, a lot has changed in Mizzou land. Kim Anderson was asked to resign, Cuonzo Martin was hired away from Cal (who is now building a home in CoMO, BUILDING not renting or buying), Michael Porter Jr signed with Mizzou, leading Blake Harris, Jeremiah Tilmon and Johntay Porter all to sign as well and Mizzou getting some early top 25 love. Mizzou has reinvented itself as a basketball program in two months, and do you know what they have to show for it in the eyes of the SEC, the Big 12 and ESPN?

Nothing.

So with that all said, I will now present to you another set of options for Mizzou to fill that spot in their schedule where a SEC – Big 12 matchup should have been.

  • The Kansas City Challenge featuring not Kansas
    Since we left the Big 12 for the money and stability of the SEC, Kansas has made it a point of saying they will never play us again in basketball ever because we left. In that time, they’ve played Colorado, Nebraska and will play Texas A&M in basketball this year, who also left, so clearly it’s just a Mizzou thing, which is fine. And if Kansas won’t play us, let’s play someone else they refuse to play. I give you the annual “Bill Self is a giant potato head toupee wearing Baby Mizzou vs Wichita State Challenge.” Bill Self won’t schedule the Shockers because well he’s afraid of losing and he won’t schedule Mizzou because he’s a giant man baby. So, let’s have Mizzou and Wichita State face off yearly at the Sprint Center and everyone make a lot of money all while laughing at how stupid Kansas truly is.
  • The Mid Major Kansas Loss Humiliation Invitational
    This idea stems from the previous one, but when ideas come to you, you roll with them. You know how every year, Kansas sees the NCAA Tournament and starts sweating because they know they’re about to be the crying team during “One Shinning Moment” after taking a loss they never should have? Well I say we celebrate it with a yearly tournament. Mizzou would invite, Bradley, Bucknell, Northern Iowa, UTEP, Western Kentucky, VCU, and Wichita State to a rotating tournament on a yearly basis either in St. Louis, Kansas City, or Chicago and all 8 teams could play a mini tournament against each other, round robin or single elimination, I don’t care. Between games, highlights of Kansas’ losses would be shown on the jumbotron and Ali Farokhmanesh could preside over the whole thing.
  • Quit the SEC
    The conference clearly does not have our backs, so let’s go find a good group of schools that will. What has Mizzou done for the SEC since 2012 when we joined? Won two SEC East Football titles, giving hope to the Kentucky’s and Vandy’s of the world, that yes this is possible. Made the NCAA tournament in our first year in the conference, won volleyball conference titles, kicked everyone’s ass in track and made some noise in softball and if the rest of the conference ever got off their horses, and stepped on the mat, we would dominate at wrestling. And what have we gotten in return? Nothing, JACK SQUAT! So where do we go? I suggest the Pace 12 where natural rivalries abound.
School and Manufactured Rivalry School and Manufactured Rivalry
Arizona - Time to get one back for Kim Anderson after the beatings he took to them. Stanford - Remember when we beat them in the Battle for Atlantis? No. Well they haven't forgotten and I imagine still plenty peeved.
Arizona State - We could fight for the Osweiller trophy, it would be 25 feet tall. UCLA - Tyus F'ing Edney.
Colorado - Anyone remember that 5th down game? USC - Trading Gamecocks for Trojans, the 12 year old in all of us can't stop giggling.
Cal - We stole your coach, come at us bros. Utah - The inaugural Quin Snyder popcorn shower trophy game.
Oregon - Who can put together the uniforms that least match their school colors. Washington - Winner gets to keep all the Porters.
Oregon State - REMEMBER THE SUNBOWL! Washington State - JIM STERK BOWL!

Have you ever seen anything that makes more sense? No, you haven’t. I mean, aside from the travel and cost, but details! Just imagine all these warm weather schools having to come to Missouri in the winter. Wins would abound and soon we could vote to deny Texas membership when they come back a calling.

  • The Mizzou vs Players who have transferred from Mizzou All Star Game
    Since Frank Haith left Mizzou for Tulsa and Kim Anderson came through many, MANY, players have moved on to other schools, enough to fill up a roster probably. Actually, not probably, certainly! So let’s invite Deuce Bello, Jonathan Williams, Teki Gill Ceaser, D’Angelo Allen, Wes Clark, Tramaine Isabell, Jakeenan Gant, Willie Jackson, Frankie Hughes, KJ Walton and Jakoby Kemp all back to Columbia for a game against the current squad. Bring back Kim Anderson and super troll Jon Gilliam to coach the group and see what happens. It’s Mizzou’s past versus it’s future, it would be better than any reality TV show currently on the air. Winner gets the ability to wear hats whenever they feel like it.

And there you go, ideas on ideas on ideas that all would work out great and be better than playing someone like Texas Tech on a random Saturday in January. Feel free to share your own ideas in the comments and I look forward to penning the third installment of this article in 2019 when Mizzou is yet again not invited to this charade of a tournament.