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The Lazy Fan’s Guide to Week 6 of the SEC Season

Mizzou’s back...and other games of varying levels of interest

NCAA Football: Florida at Mississippi State Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

It’s fully October, and it’s actually Fall, and Mizzou is actually back to playing football, football with a purpose. And the rest of the SEC is doing SEC things, things that make sense only to some. How did you enjoy your bye week? Did you spend your time watching all of Mizzou’s future opponents so you could get a good read on them, and then show off your knowledge at your local watering hole or favored internet message board? I hope so, I for one did none of the above, which I think will make my picks that much spicier and more on point.

But football was played last weekend and one of us had a perfect week and the other, less so.

To the records!

Picker Correct Picks Incorrect Picks Overall Records
kristina 8 correct 0 incorrect 32 wins, 7 losses
Chris 6 correct 2 incorrect 31 wins, 8 losses

Feast your eyes on what kristina did! A perfect week, nary a misstep in the bunch. Clearly, she can only continue to go up from here. This week we have seven games on the docket, but she’ll still go 8 and 0 because that’s what she does. (Editor’s note: Winning!) Perhaps the end of the baseball season and the lack of hockey (certainly was the case last night with the blues game) focused her picks where I was distracted by hate for Kentucky to move forward with them. Will I move on? Will kristina get it done again? I have no idea, but I’d think it’s safe to put your next paycheck on her picks, you’re safe.

This week’s games are ranked on based on happy hour/bar food items that invariably you eat, but shouldn’t but will because come on…Ah food, the great divider.

Let’s get to it!

To the games!

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 11:00 AM Arkansas #1 Alabama The land of flaming holes ESPN WatchESPN

Nick Saban is pissed y’all, or is it ya’ll? Either way, “you all” sounds weird and slightly offensive. Anyway, not enough people are coming out to watch Alabama beat the bejesus out of directional colleges and Ol’ Nicky is getting a bit prickly about the whole thing. Like his daughter, Nick is ready to throw down. Now, I was surprised by Nick’s rant, not because he did it, no, I was surprised there were things to do in Alabama on a Saturday while the Tide were playing. I mean, do they have things to do there? Was there some giant apple picking festival? That’s certainly appealing…

Scale of Watchability: Taquitos. I love Mexican food, I love Americanized Mexican food, but this, this is a monstrosity. Taquitos are always overcooked, overfilled with beans and the sides just look gross. If you order taquitos and we’re out together, well you just lost a drinking buddy, buddy.

Paired Drink: WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. For all of Nick’s whining, get it? Since it’s morning time, why not have a nice bottle of Sancerre from France, and then transition to a nice Sauvignon Blanc? They’re both tasty, but the Sancerre is just too pricey to maintain for a full day kind of thing.

kristina: Can’t complain about the drink choice here. But seriously, when you schedule super cupcakes and you steamroll them, it gets boring. What’s not boring is Arky losing once again, that’s just funny. Like when the cubs lost two consecutive play-in games at home. ‘Bama. Though, yeah, angry Saban during the month of his birthday is a little scary. Best holiday birthday to have.

Chris: Bama, bama, bama all day long. And lo be to the Tide fans that don’t travel from Alabama to Arkansas to cheer this team on. You don’t want Nick mad…you wouldn’t like him when he’s mad, he’s like a sad little Hulk in a windbreaker that just kind of looks ineffectual. When does Arkansas just give up already?

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 11:00 AM South Carolina Mizzou The crap Columbia SEC Network WatchESPN

So at least we didn’t lost last week, amirite? (Can’t lose if you don’t play, though one could argue not playing is the only winning move is to not play for the 80’s movie crowd.) Mizzou football returns, heading to the other Columbia, does their motto suck as well? (Uh, to answer that it apparently was “famously hot” and now it’s “The new Southern hot spot” so kind of?) With Bentley’s status not for sure, the current line is Mizzou by a point, but it seems we just have to score 32 or more, since SC seems to like putting up 31 against us. Wouldn’t be a college football game without yet another uniform reveal! Apparently they’re going all garnet.

Scale of Watchability: So, obviously, we’re biased ‘cause it’s Mizzou, so you have to go with hot wings. We’ll let the CoMo folk argue which ones are the best, ‘cause if there’s anything y’all love to do, it’s argue...........about food. Sadly the last time I was there for the Tennessee game I was either too many drinks in or just not paying attention to where we were at (I mean it was the third damn restaurant by that time) but those wings were tasty.

Paired Drink: This seems like it’ll be close, so of course that means booze needs to be near and plentiful, and since you’re on a budget and can’t go fancy, domestic lighter beer. Boring, we know, but it’s early and if things go south, you may end up with an empty twelve pack in a hurry. Save the craft beers for later, but give the pumpkin spice ones to those friends of yours that won’t get the hint to either leave or finish off all your snacks.

kristina: Ugh.......... dart board. I really, really want to say Mizzou, but it’s an away game and they’re going to be all ticked off from getting stomped by Kentucky. Catch your freaking passes, SC! Then again, I picked you to lose, so don’t. Damnit, fine, Mizzou.

Chris: If Mizzou loses this game, they’re not going bowling and at that point Barry Odom should probably be relieved of his job. BUT, Mizzou will win this mid-day (it’s Noon at kick off for us on the east coast) affair and it will be a close ugly affair. This is the first year Barry Odom manages to get his team to win off of a bye week. Which is quite startling when you think about it. Two weeks to prepare and you lose? If it happens again this year I suggest in 2019 during Mizzou’s bye week they just act like regular college kids, skipping morning class, starting the weekend on Thursday and late morning omelets on Saturday and Sunday following too much booze and little production. Give it a go young people.

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 2:30 PM Florida #5 LSU Voting is too complicated CBS CBS Sports Network

Well how about that? Florida took down “mighty” Mississippi State who perhaps was mildly overrated. Dan Mullen owns all the cowbells people, he OWNS them. At one point in time this was a tremendous game, now, it’s lacking cache. Though I imagine Coach O is getting there via fan boat with his pet iguana who he named Chester. You see old Chester and Ed are inseparable when it comes to fan boat time, don’t you dare even ask him to get on that bus. Now is someone could hand him his boating gumbo that would be great, it’s a long trip around the state.

Scale of Watchability: Tots. Just some tots. You can’t go wrong with them, they’re tasty and filling. Really, this game should be fun and you should enjoy something tasty. Maybe dip them in some congealed warm cheese, or cover them in Ol’ Bay if you’re feeling fancy free. Either way, they’re good, and this game will be too.

Paired Drink: Grab some Prosecco. It’s Italy’s version of Champagne, but with more deleterious effects! Recently, 30,000 liters exploded, how about that? Every NYE party you go to will have loads of this, because no one’s breaking out the Veuve for a party of drunken maniacs that we all become around 11:15 PM.

kristina: The local bar chain around here serves tots with that red hot riplets seasoning on it, not too shabby. Just don’t overcook them. And, of course, now we own a bottle of that stuff since my other half is completely obsessed with seasonings and clearance aisles. (When there’s a combination of those, it’s a bad day.) Really sucks to be the equipment manager for Florida this week. Whoever that is needs a drink, or five. LSU, though I’m not feeling super confident.

Chris: LSU went on the road to Auburn and got it done. They will also go on the road and get it done in Florida. It’s a close game, not a ton of points, but it’ll keep your interest and it’ll give Mizzou fans some time to really think about Florida. Let’s hope we’re all awake and watching and not filled with rage after a mid day Mizzou clunker. Florida even not ranked, is overrated.

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 3:00 PM Ole Miss University of Louisiana Monroe Bad football and bad basketball SEC Network WatchESPN

So it’s Ole Miss’ homecoming, who get a small break after losing to LSU. Well, I mean they also get a break next week with Arky. (We at the LFG have no faith in Arky, clearly.) Oh, and while we’re on that subject, let’s not forgot that time a ranked Arky lost to the Warhawks in OT. Anyway, unfortunately that’s not going to happen here, these two teams have met three times and the collective score is 149-17 in favor of Ole Miss.

Scale of Watchability: Potato skins. There’s always way too much overcooked potato and way not enough of the good stuff. Yes bacon and cheese are wonderful, especially bacon, but there’s no shame in just eating a plate of cheese and bacon. There are better options for a boat/delivery method than an overcooked potato. Hard pass.

Paired Drink: I mean, it’s their homecoming so we’ll go with a hot toddy. Though it seems our not-so-sure-of-satire friends at RCR are a tad worried, so you can check out their thought. (A shot of cheap tequila and tabasco just sounds HORRIBLE.)

kristina: Ole Miss. Though it’s amusing they seem a tad worried. ULM just got crushed by Georgia State. Yeah your defense kind of stinks and your offense isn’t great, but seriously? Do hot toddys really work for colds? I mean, I haven’t had one in years, knock on wood ‘cause being sick sucks, but just curious.)

Chris: College basketball season has started. Practices are happening all across the land. Previews are being written, and bag men are getting even more creative about getting money to recruits through shadier deals than ever. Which takes us to Ole Miss who will be miserable this season. But they’ll win this football game because, well, someone has to.

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 6:00 PM Texas A&M #13 Kentucky Jimbo Fisher is one unpleasant SOB ESPN WatchESPN

It’s happening, my nightmare. I know I’ve said this before, but why, WHY is Kentucky taking care of business and wining games, being ranked and all the stuff that makes Cats fans happy? WHY?! Well, they have Benny Snell, their QB doesn’t make mistakes, and their lines are big, and big by SEC standards. I suppose that’s all stuff I should have paid attention to…Anyway, they’re a top 15 team going on the road at night against a team that’s wearing throwback helmets that as far as I can tell are only different in that the A&M logo is now supersized. Does it look just like the Fightin’ Armadillos of Texas State University in the marvelous film “Necessary Roughness”? You’re damn right it does! It’s got Sinbad, Scott Bakula, Kathy Ireland, Rob Schneider and of course a great Mizzou alum, Robert Loggia who has a commanding performance as the D coordinator, assistant coach.

Scale of Watchability: Big Giant Pretzel. It’s a shareable dish, it’s warm, it’s got dipping sauces, though all you need is mustard. It’s delicious, and has giant chunks of salt all over it. What’s not to love?! Now, I know most people love wings, but I find them overrated and too much work, so consider this delight my number 1 seed of bar/happy hour food.

Paired Drink: Car Bombs. Get some Guinness, some Jameson and some Baileys, slam it all down and every evening becomes that much more interesting. Just don’t drink too many in a row, all you’ll end up is tired and passed out.

kristina: I mean, soft pretzels are good, but it’s usually more the dipping sauces that make the complete dish, so I don’t know here. Beer cheese dipping sauces are wonderful though. Yeah, too many car bombs never ends well. While I don’t like it, it worked out last week, so Kentucky. Disparity for the win, again!

Chris: Ok A&M, I’m counting on you. It’s time to be your best self. It’s time to channel all that Clemson game stuff and hone it here and then expose it to Kentucky at night in your massive stadium. A&M, because why mess with a streak? The Kentucky perfect season ends and I shed a single tear of happiness in this crazy mixed up world. Oh and Jimbo, grow the f up, seriously.

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 6:30 PM #2 Georgia Vanderbilt They don't sell out Braves playoff games SEC Network WatchESPN

So Vandy tried really, really hard to lose to Tennessee State last week, I guess that’s one way to draw up a game plan. It’s also Georgia’s homecoming, which didn’t go so well against Vandy two years ago, so while the dawgs seem to have just a tad of worry, the line is 26, so we say not so much. And no, we’re not discussing Georgia’s homecoming last year and/or the last time Mizzou played a football game. Nope. Anyway minus a few worries, most have Georgia winning by a lot. No actual uniform reveals, but a few mentioned black jerseys for Georgia.

Scale of Watchability: Mozzarella sticks. They’re on practically every freaking appetizer menu and they’re just boring / nothing to see, and usually just plucked out of a freezer anyway. I’m sure you could get really fancy with these if you tried, but with your typical bar fare, that’s not happening. Nothing to see here.

Paired drink: Bourbon. Game shouldn’t be close, can just sip on it with no worries and don’t have to go all crazy. This place seems right up our alley. Apparently, they offer up a weird variety, but anyway.........

kristina: Georgia. Vandy just seems so inconsistent. Keep it close against Notre Dame, not even remotely close vs SC. If there’s one thing, clearly, we can say about Chris, he does know how to ramble. He also plays kickball and said he’d make it to STL to play with me, but so far, tsk tsk............ (Yes, we’re joking here, I’m fairly sure no one in the history of purely recreational adult sports has traveled for one damn game.) I could be wrong though.

Chris: Well Georgia won again so they’re still ranked second in the country, but again, not feeling it. And don’t get me started on their baseball team…the things I’d like to type but won’t though I may get a “stick to sports”, but I don’t think I ever really hit sports, so maybe “stick to rambling.” Anyway, Vandy’s gonna get beat and beat badly, and Braves fan won’t sell out their suburban baseball stadium because, well I’m sure they have a reason. Bulldogs big, Dodgers in three and, come the f on…

Date Time Home Team Away Team Location TV Streaming
Saturday, October 6 6:30 PM Mississippi State #8 Auburn Cowbells and Confusion ESPN2 WatchESPN

Well, there it is, your SEC West night cap that just a couple weeks ago looked oh so interesting and now, now just looks like a game we’ll all ignore while we watch well anything else. The nightcap is not good this week, really anywhere to be honest with you. Mississippi State got Mullen’ed last week, which shouldn’t have been that surprising, and Auburn didn’t lose to a worse team which for some teams in the SEC would be a big deal.

Scale of Watchability: Spinach and Artichoke dip. It’s stinky, it’s ugly and it’s served with chips normally which are just blah. Really, it’s never a good idea, no one’s happy and it ruins both spinach and artichoke…and dip I suppose.

Paired Drink: Dogfish head 90 minute IPA. It’ll smack you right in the face with hops. It’s a bit pricey but it’s a delight, go get some and get fancy buzzed.

kristina: The only IPA I like was Goose Island’s, basically ‘cause it didn’t taste like an IPA. After last week, have to say Auburn. I didn’t watch, but just like our Gator chomp, I hope Florida fans were ringing cowbells. Again, if there were any Florida fans there, didn’t watch. Aw, what’s wrong with cheesy spinach and artichokes? He’s a veggie hater, I tell you!

Chris: Auburn all day long…ALL DAY SON! Really, State is just a big shadow of what we were led to believe, you’ve led us all on State, damn you! I don’t think State’s really all that good truth be told…like bad.

Here are our picks, use them at your discretion, make money, don’t make money, you know, whatever feels right.

Picker SEC Winners SEC Losers Non Con Winner (if selected)
kristina Bama, Mizzou, LSU, Ole Miss, Kentucky, Georgia, Auburn Arkansas, SC, Florida, A&M, Vanderbilt, State NA
Chris Bama, Mizzou, LSU, Ole Miss, A&M, Georgia, Auburn Arkansas, SC, Florida, Kentucky, Vanderbilt, State NA

It’s October people, football time, get out and enjoy the foliage (after you read this post of course), make some cider, put on a vest and boots and really lean into the whole thing.