We know the general rules of spring football by now:

Your new quarterbacks coach has a résumé.

Your new quarterbacks coach has personally mentored an array of accomplished passers, including two-time NFL MVP Kurt Warner*, NFL MVP Rich Gannon**, two-time Super Bowl champion Ben Roethlisberger***, six-time Pro Bowler Donovan McNabb****, Heisman Trophy winner Jason White*****, and Walter Camp winner Josh Heupel*****.

His position coaching experience includes successful stints at East Texas Baptist, Upper Iowa, Meiji University, Notre Dame (Ohio), and USC******, all in three years of post-entrepreneurial work. Between his NFL career and his coaching career, he also founded a record label and attempted to relocate a NHL franchise.

He is responsible for the development of Quaqua Protégé Award winner Tim Tebow, as well as Tebow’s undevelopment in the NFL. Your new quarterbacks coach slipped a device into Tebow that allows for Tebow’s quarterbacking skills to be deactivated at will.

Your new quarterbacks coach will take over as your offensive coordinator one week after this season, then leave to become the head coach at USC******* two weeks after that.

* Your new quarterbacks coach was on the Cardinals inactive list in 2005.

** Your new quarterbacks coach was on the Raiders inactive list in 2004.

*** Your new quarterbacks coach somehow had the same agent as his star classmate.

**** Your new quarterbacks coach was forced into emergency kick-holding duties during a blowout loss to the Eagles.

***** Your new quarterbacks coach almost walked on at Oklahoma.

****** Utica School of Commerce’s business college.

******* The University of Southern California Trojans.

Mizzou’s new quarterbacks coach, one Mr. Derek Dooley, has personally mentored both one of the NFL’s best receivers (Dez Bryant) and (probably) one of the NFL’s best young QBs (Dak Prescott). It appears Drew Lock is enjoying himself under Dooley’s guidance.

“It’s more complicated of an offense but I do think it’s easier,” Lock said. “It was a little more guessing games last year on what I thought receivers were going to run. And this year I have it set in stone what they’re doing every single play. It makes me a lot more comfortable back there. I know exactly what’s going on.” [...]

Lock added that his biggest struggle with Dooley’s offense has been the number of plays and formations in the playbook. [...]

“This is exactly what I want to experience,” Lock said. “I want to be able to speak ball. I want to be able to talk NFL stuff with NFL people and I wasn’t going to be able to do that.”

And also, um, this.

When asked about the differences he’s noticed between Dooley and Josh Heupel, his former offensive coordinator, Lock did note one difference.

”I think Coach Dooley spits a little bit when he yells. Coach Heupel never really spit,” a grinning Lock said.

Oh, and, uh, *cough* Dooley was totally a mentor for legendary Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, too.

Dooley reminded the crowd that, during his tenure as the wide receivers coach of the Dallas Cowboys, he saw how effective a good tight end can be by working with veteran Jason Witten. He wants to bring some of the concepts that have made Witten successful to the Tigers.

Missouri tight ends coach Joe Jon Finley said he has showed his players film of Witten to help teach them some of those concepts. But the idea of studying Witten is not new to the group. [...]

“I can tell them all I want to, but a picture is worth a thousand words,” Finley said. “I put them back to back. I show Witten doing it right and then I show them, and they’re like ‘oh man, that looks way different.’”

Congrats in advance to Dooley for earning the USC head coaching job in 2019.

More Football Links:

• Learn about your new offensive line coach, Brad Davis.
• Davis is inheriting quite a stable unit this year.
• Jordan Elliott is hungry.
• ROOKIE REPORTS.

Yesterday at Rock M

More Links:

• Well this is a pretty good family connection to have...

• Mizzou Baseball smoked Arkansas State, 11-1, in the first of a two-game series. That’s 10 straight wins at home. The Tigers and Red Wolves will play a second game today at 4 pm.

• Here’s a good idea for Mizzou Softball this afternoon: sweep SEMO. If the Tigers do it, it’ll probably be juniors leading the way.
• It’s NCAA Championships time for Mizzou men’s swimming and diving.