SEC Power Rankings: Tennessee is openly bickering with the homeowner’s association

I’m keeping five tiers for this week, and three of them feature some movement. At this point, I think each “neighborhood” has its permanent residents established, but that doesn’t mean that a few teams are trying to break out and find a new residence with fresh neighbors.

LSU survived its first true test of the season and was rewarded by the AP with a freshly-minted #1 ranking. A Tua-less Alabama delivered a humbling butt kicking to Arkansas. I’m keeping them slotted as is, and will do so next week since both are on a bye, with high anticipation for the inevitable (and RARE) shootout potential for their November 9th game.

It’s always better to not play a game than to play a game and possibly lose, so kudos to both Georgia and Florida for avoiding a loss by just deciding to not participate this past week. Auburn falls because, ha-ha, you played a game and loooooooooooost.

/point and laugh

Auburn is essentially eliminated from the SEC Championship and therefore the Playoff, but they are certainly still an elite team. The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party will - in theory - decide the SEC East champion, since Missouri has decided to stop being good at football and stuff. SPEAKING OF!!!!!!

Missouri sits at a desk, head in hand, solemnly refreshing Zillow, looking at all the excellent real estate in the Tier II neighborhood that they could have afforded but no longer can. Cale seemed like such a solid investment at the time, but once it crashed and Dooley Aeronautics fell apart with it, the whole nest egg disappeared. Heavily sighing, Missouri slowly pours more whiskey into the coffee mug, shuffles to the bathroom, and stares at the weathered face in the mirror, whispering, “That’s what you get for extrapolating short-term gains over long-term investment periods.”

The most cannibalistic of the Tiers features a Tennessee team that is absolutely going to ruin everyone’s day when they play. As stated previously, the goal of this tier is to make a bowl but... how many bowl games are in this group now? South Carolina and Mississippi State are tail-spinning, Ole Miss is banged up but on a bye, Kentucky is the most predictable AND UNBEATABLE team in the world... it’ll be a close finish to see who can get to the postseason.

No harm in getting your face rearranged by Alabama, Arkansas. I like the confidence of Chad Morris saying they’ll beat Mississippi State this week, especially with Joe Moorhead seemingly one foot out the door en route to Rutgers. Vanderbilt was on a bye and still relishing the win over Missouri. Hey, Vandy, what’s it like to win an SEC game? As of recently, I just can’t seem to be able to relate.