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The Revue: Why did this need to happen?

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The Revue asks, “Why Boston,” before considering field-storming and celebrating our beloved thiccer.

Before we get into the goofy part of this post, a few spare notes from Mizzou’s ill-fated trip to the land of Dunk’n and chowder.

1. There are far too many movies set in Boston. This presents a problem for me as the author of this Revue and also a general movie fan, because I can only handle so many movies about corrupt cawps and the impawtance of family... but I’ve got so much material to pull from here.

Come on, this is a layup, right?
Josh Matejka

But seriously, even though Bawston is a potential treasure trove of Revue cawntent, let’s not do this again. Even if Eli Drinkwitz’s comments about the game this week seemed a little odd, he was speaking only the God’s honest truth. There should be no reason for any Mizzou Football team to make the trek up northeast again. Never. Ever. Ever. What good did this game do for Mizzou other than rile up fans with little to no understanding of how good Boston College is (and they’re pretty good!) who expected a Mizzou blowout despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Next time BC calls you up on the phone, Mizzou, thank them for giving us Madeline Kahn, Matt Damon and W.E.B. Du Bois. Then you can hang up.

2. I’m split on the whole, “Boston College fans storming the field after beating Mizzou.” First, it shouldn’t be anyone’s first instinct to shame college kids for wanting to have fun. I never once got to charge the field while at Mizzou (though I did sneak on in the middle of the night once), and it feels like a special badge of honor for any school worth its salt. If the BC students are really that revved up about this year’s team and felt like a win over Mizzou merited storming the field, hey, more power to you. I’m not paying the fine.

Second though, and don’t forget it because this is important, lmao. My friends, you are storming the field after beating Missouri. I’m not going to sit over here and pretend that Missouri is UConn bad, but BC has to have a higher standard for itself, higher at the very least than, “reigning Music City Bowl selection, Missouri Tigers.”

So in summation, you should 100% rush the field if you feel like it (as long as there are other people doing it and the game is over). But also maybe consider the state of the opposing program before trampling your buddy’s drunk girlfriend to celebrate the defeat of a program that somewhat recently employed Derek Dooley as one of the three most important members of its coaching staff.

3. Absolutely, I genuinely cannot explain for the life of me why there are appear to be people wanting to fire Steve Wilks after 4 games. Why, I ask? Why? Did you watch Mizzou at the end of last season? Did you ever see Nick Bolton play? Have you watched this defensive line the past two-ish years? Do you think Mizzou is a school that turns tail on a major coaching decision after four games?

Explain it to me like I’m five. I genuinely do not understand.

The (Actual) Revue

Black Mass

Josh Matejka

★★☆☆☆

As I’ve said before, far too many movies are set in Boston.

There’s just not much about the specific geography of the location that intrigues me. Monotonous, working class cityscapes? Not necessary specific to the northeast. Harbor town? Just shoot in the Bayou, where the accents are more fun. Corrupt policing? Just throw a dart at a map and go where it says.

Still, Mizzou Studios apparently thought it necessary to base the next feature in Beantown, and the results go just about as well as you’d expect. But aside from the obvious question of, “why is this movie being made,” it’s hard to make a case that Eli Drinkwitz’s fourth feature in his second contract year stands on its own merits. A potentially compelling central performance by Connor Bazelak is derailed by errant passes and poor decisions that displayed a strange lack of chemistry with his co-stars. Bazelak has always been a reliable guy, but Black Mass doesn’t suit his tastes at all, a truly bizarre misfire from every angle.

Not to mention, the writing and staging of Drinkwitz’s fourtheenth total feature with Mizzou Studios is done with truly poor execution. The design of the thing is generally ugly, lacking both the creativity and the ability to play to its strengths that a Drinkwitz feature usually has. The pace is stodgy and drab, vacillating quickly between stretches of run time that work seamlessly to others where no one on screen seems to know what the plan is or how they’re moving the story forward.

This is especially true of the unit helmed by Assistant Director Steve Wilks, who continues to struggle after his Week 1 M-y win. Cast debutant Blaze Alldredge was serviceable in his role on Saturday, but looks a far cry from the leading man the studio needed to replacement former A-lister Nick Bolton. That’s not to pile on Alldredge too much, however, as his supporting cast doesn’t give him much room to work. It feels like he’s getting blown off the screen before he can assert himself, leading to performances that feel hurried and inconsistent.

Much more could be said about the meandering, disappointing final product but the question that keeps coming back to this reviewers mind is: Why did this need to happen? Drinkwitz and his crew have done an excellent job thus far at churning out features that have some sort of exuberant flair, even when they turn out to be subpar. Black Mass has its moments, but largely lacks the quality and sustained energy that would fit it along even the second-or-third tier works in the Eli Drinkwitz filmography.

And the M-y goes to...

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Harrison Mevis in his recurring role, “Thiccer”

Major props to Mark Kim for getting on this, can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Keke Chism as “Chunk Yardage Chism”

You’ll want to reference the forthcoming MV3 for more thoughts on this award, but Chism was far and away Mizzou’s best receiver this week. Anytime the Tigers needed some chunk yards, Chism stepped up and made them happen, bullying any Boston College secondary member on his way.

Best Adapted Play-Calling: Eli Drinkwitz for “Oh look, another flea-flicker”

It is absolutely bananas to me how many times this play has worked with Eli Drinkwitz at the helm, but it almost always does. Credit to Drink for playing the hits and playing them with gusto.